Not complicated; just difficult

I think once or twice I've been told I'm a complicated person, or that I'm hard to figure out. That's not at all true. It's quite easy, really... I'm just DIFFICULT. Lady Jane figured this out long ago, and that's probably why we're coming up on 24 years of marriage and it is perhaps better now than ever. I wish I weren't like this, and I'm much better than I used to be. But...

It was kinda odd going back "home" and officiating my nephew's wedding. I have never preached or done anything of the kind in the church we attended there (not that I wouldn't, but I haven't been asked. Hmm). So this was the first time many of the people from there have seen me in the pulpit. There were also a few people at the wedding who only knew me from the bars or the factory I used to work at. It was a weird feeling how they all seemed so shocked and amazed at how nice the ceremony was. So many people were congratulating me afterwards and telling me what a nice job I did. I actually began to feel bad - like - perhaps I attracted too much attention to myself rather than the bride and groom. Honestly, I probably overdid the humor - to keep myself from getting too choked up. But I wondered what the heck they think I've been doing for the last ten years.

At church on Sunday, after the worship service, we were in the kitchen having coffee and donuts and reminiscing with old friends... and my old high school football coach came in and put his arm around me. I thought he was gonna cry, and he told me how all night (after the wedding - which he attended) he kept thinking about the time he and the assistant coaches called me into his office. This was my Junior year, after the game where I had six fumbles (I've wrote about this before). He said they asked me, "If you could do anything you want to do, what would it be?" He said they were expecting me to say I wanted to be an NFL quarterback or something. Instead, I said, "I'd like to sit on a mountain and play my guitar." I remembered this after he told me. He said it was at that point they knew they needed to move me from quarterback. I was not who they thought I was.

Funny how I had completely forgotten that conversation, but now I can remember sitting in that coaches room like it was this morning. What's weird is I'm not even a very good guitarist, and I'm scared to death of heights.

The name of the church I pastor is Fair View. It really is two words. My guess is it's because the land is so flat right here. It's a "fair" view. It's definitely not a mountain.

They say you can never go back home again. I guess it's not complicated... Just difficult.

"Hold me, Jesus, 'cause I'm shakin' like a leaf. You have been King of my glory, won't you be my Prince of peace?" Rich Mullins