And it's not that I am anti-hugging so much... but I'm just not a natural hugger, you know. That doesn't mean I won't do it if it seems appropriate. But a lotta times it just doesn't seem appropriate. And, honestly, there are some people who shouldn't be doing it - at least not the way they do it. But whaddya say without making them mad, you know?
So, how 'bout you... are you a hugger or not???
12 comments:
I'm not a hugger either but I wish I were. I also don't like all the "problems" that go along with it because of a few perverts. Have you seen the youth pastor hug? Sideways, shoulder to shoulder with no frontal contact. Does that even count as a hug?
When I coached college women I was extremely careful about this and talked about it at the first team meeting every year. (including a rule that I would never be alone with a player out of public view.) Even though I'm not a hugger by nature I still found it frustrating a few times and I found out a few of my players felt the same way. It's just too bad we have to be so careful about this stuff. I just waited until after they graduated and then hugged them.
I am not a natural hugger, either (except with my wife and kids - which I am sure is true for most men - what makes that different?). I usually am fairly rigid in that awkward "male hug" kinda way.
A friend of mine and I are resurrecting the hearty handshake as not just a substitute for the more awkward hug, but as an age-old method of showing affection and respect. We greet each other with "Hello, sir!" and shake hands and MEAN it. Feels good. Not everything from bygone eras are bad just because they expressed a formalism we have abandoned. And in this case, it isn't even formal - it is just the way we've chosen to express our gladness to see each other.
Jim
Tom,
Ha... yes, I've seen the 'youth pastor hug', though I didn't know it had a name.
I actually wish I were more of a hugger too. But it just doesn't come naturally. Maybe it's because I'm so short. Nothing worse than gettin' your nose stuck in somebody's armpit.
Jim,
Yeah... the hearty handshake! That's more up my alley. Nice to hear from you.
I only hug women, and only when it's their idea. Rachel laid one on me the other day... rowr,rowr.
If you continue to be assaulted with hugs, explain to everyone one Sunday that you're now doing the "gangsta" hug, where you glasp thumbs, grip (like your arm wrestling) and bump shoulders.
I will chime in now since no others of the female persuasion have. I'm not a hugger, either. I love them from Dan and the kids, but it just isn't something I would do as a way to say "hello". My family didn't hug a lot, so maybe that has something to do with it. However, that being said, I do think there are times when it seems like the appropriate response. The thing that bothers me is when people just assume they can grab someone they don't hardly know. I think a little respect in this area is always necessary.
Jerry.
At least one "hugger" ought to weigh in, so I will. I am a hugger and I've spent quite a bit of time thinking about the whole phenomena. 'Cause I get "business" hugs, too, and it used to make me wonder if I was giving off some inappropriate vibe that people, both men and women, often hug me "hello". Now that I'm an old past middle-aged woman (unless I'm going to live to be 106) I don't worry about it so much and just know that lots of people in the world, me included, have lives that don't provide an overabundance of warm friendly physical touch. I try really hard to read other people's signals (since non-huggers don't wear signs) and also to give clear signals when somebody makes me uncomfortable (I've done that at church, so I don't get hugs from everybody)but I don't always get it right. I've always thought most of us probably give away what we need ourselves, so maybe huggers are just really needy people. Not sure about that, but it kind of makes sense. Love the cartoon.
Boy, Dan really opened up a profound discussion here...
Since I've been single for a while now, I recall one night I was sitting next to a girl who reached over and touched me and I instinctively pulled back. She was like "what was that?!" I gave her some quick reason but I had to think about it after. I was so unaccostomed to being touched at that point that I just assumed it was an accident when I felt her touch me, like I was in the way. Weird. I think I've suppressed that now, but that was a strange involuntary response that I didn't expect from bachelorhood.
Thanks for the responses everybody. For the record, again, I am not AGAINST hugging. There are times that even I do it! It's just not a natural way for me to greet or be greeted by people. I personally don't believe either way is better - we're all just different.
But I'm with Jane - I don't like it when people have no respect for those who aren't huggers. Not that you can't hug a non-hugger sometimes, but some people give off the attitude that "you just don't know that you need a hug" or they make you feel like you have some deficiency because you don't do it. THOSE are the people I don't want hugging me. Maybe my rebellious streak has something to do with that too. :) I think it is true, though, that some people are simply more "huggable."
Now... about those close-talkers... that's another story altogether!
Hi, my name's Shawna and I'm a hugger. hehe..
Mostly I hug people when we part, not when we first see each other. I also happen to be an "Otter" or an "I" type personality which is highly concerned for those around me and how they feel and what they are thinking. So I find myself in a real pickle if I'm with friends and I go to hug everyone goodbye and there is someone new standing there and I don't hug them. It kind of feels like I'm saying "you're not so important". Which isn't true, I just don't know them as well. So instead, I usually giggle and say "I don't want to leave anyone out" and then I hug that person. My hope is that they understand I'm including them, but I do think they think I'm a bit crazy, which I probably am--but that's ok! :)
We will pray for you, Shawna, that you might be delivered from your addiction (just kidding). :)
Thanks for chiming in.
Post a Comment