Should I stay or should I go

PLEASE NOTE: There isn't a question mark here. I'm not asking... simply 'thinkin' out loud.' Any guesses as to who did the song with this title?

I am still reading Warren Wiersbe’s On Being A Servant of God. This is such a timely book for me. It’s like meeting each morning with an old sage who is speaking to me exactly what I need to hear. I find myself wanting to keep reading, but I limit myself to one chapter a morning – partly so I will “want” more, and partly so I will not get ahead of myself. Some things are meant to be chewed and savored.

Today he talks about staying in a ministry vs. moving on. I have to admit, this is something that’s been on my mind lately. I’ve been wondering if God is trying to tell me it’s time to leave, or if I’m supposed to stay because there is something He’s trying to teach me. It’s a bit of a rough time, and I certainly don’t blame the people of the church. I don’t know that it’s anyone’s fault; it’s just the way it is.

On p. 64 Warren says, “The Lord is the only One who can accurately measure both us and our work, BUT HE DOESN’T ALWAYS TELL US WHAT HE THINKS. Languishing in Herod’s dungeon, John the Baptist was sure he’d been a failure (Mt. 11:1-19); and more than once, Moses wanted to quit because he was sure he couldn’t stand another day of listening to the people complain.”

That was pretty comforting to me. Because I feel like I’ve been wondering and wondering, and it’s nice to know there is precedent for the fact that “He doesn’t always tell us what He thinks” (or what He wants us to do).

It’s weird, because in the first year or two of being a pastor, I used to get inquiries on a regular basis about moving on to another church. At the time I had no interest whatsoever. But it’s been a long time since someone has contacted me. Hmm. Could it be that I am no longer seen as a good option, or could it be that God knows I might be tempted to do the wrong thing? He has a knack for looking out for me when I need it most.

I always thought it odd too, because people used to suggest I needed to move on to “bigger and better things.” And that is something I still don’t feel led to. If I ever went to a bigger church, it would probably be as an associate, rather than as a senior pastor. Actually, I usually envisioned moving to a smaller church – like 30-40 people. But… probably the most appealing to me at the moment would be a non-church job. Not that I would never want to do it again, but I have to admit, if someone offered me a job right now, it would be awfully tempting not to look into it on most days. But I know the grass always seems greener on the other side of the fence.

So, I guess I say all this to say… at the moment I am feeling okay with not knowing. I remember listening to Bob Roberts speak this summer, and one of the keys I took from him was his pointed question: “What has God put in front of your face?” I am where I am, and I think that’s what I need to concentrate on. So be it.

Not my will, but Yours be done, Lord.