Wednesday, December 31, 2008

This is the end

Random thoughts to end the year on...

One of the most vivid recollections I have of being in my room during high school is listening to The Doors self-titled album with "The End" on it. For some reason I can remember sitting on the floor, leaning against the bed, listening to that over and over. And there was a plate under my bed with the remains of a beef pot pie for a long, long time.

I really get no kick from Champagne - never much liked the stuff. But for some odd reason I have always liked the city of Champaign. I don't know why. I've been there for concerts, and U of I games, and went to football camp there. I dunno....

My fondest memory from 2008 would definitely have to be our trip to Punta Cana, DR. I doubt there will ever be another vacation like it.

My biggest battle as this year comes to an end is loneliness. And it has nothing to do with being around people necessarily. I can feel totally alone in the midst of a group of people, and sometimes I feel totally unalone when no one is around. I think it has more to do with not feeling like I'm a part of anything. And every time I try to be, it seems to get even worse. Monday's are getting especially bad.

I've got a lot to be thankful for, but 2008 has been a looooong year. And this last week, while being a pretty good week, has left me more depressed than usual. I don't know if it's because I've only run one time in the past two weeks, if it's because we didn't go "home" for Christmas, if it's because my normal routine has been disrupted, or what, but I feel like I'm carrying a heavy weight.

It didn't help when we went to Wendy's for supper the other night - I had to wear my hat in because my hair was weirded out - and the girl at the counter looked up and said I looked like the singer for Blues Traveller. Nothing against John Popper, but... it didn't really make my night.

Whatever. It's just the normal noises. I hope everyone has a nice new year's eve.


Jim said...

Per your comments on loneliness - you and me both.

Happy new year!

dan h. said...

That's the bad thing about loneliness... you can't really "do it together."

Hope you had a good one.

Jim said...

"That's the bad thing about loneliness... you can't really 'do it together.'"

Ha! Ain't that the truth.

And actually, the last few days have been a surprise and a blessing. There's going to be blog posts coming about it all.