Friday, January 23, 2009

Name change

Those of you who are regulars have likely already noticed the name change. Danno's Dangerous Mind is no more. I never really liked that as a name. It's just not "me." And I don't know that 12ddm even means anything. It was something to put in as an address when I started this blog in 2005. I never imagined it would last this long.

I'd been thinking about changing the name for awhile, but I could never think of anything to change it to. I know I've used 'Peace Revolution' and 'Broken Whiskey Glass' before (and probably some others). I just don't feel very 'dangerous' anymore. I don't know why, but I've become a bit gun-shy again. Afraid to speak my mind. Uneasy. Unsettled. Intimidated. I have a ton of posts in draft form, and I find myself leaving more and more of them that way. I suppose the less I say and the more generic I am, the better.

Yep... 1, 2, buckle my shoe.

11 comments:

MR said...

It's a tough situation, I'll give you that. Since you don't ever clock out and God's words come out the same pie-hole as your opinions. :D It's a little bit like trying to take the wet off the water.

If you don't already have one, I'd get yourself a new blog identity, and leaving out the part about being a Pastor, come out shootin'.

Cindy said...

I've considered doing what MR suggested. I lead worship music in our church and can't always... umm.. vent like I would like to. I never took the plunge to an anonymous blog because I was afraid I'd use it as a platform for complaining, rather than a springboard for useful discussion. Afraid of my own lack of self discipline, I suppose. Also, I don't want to stop trying to learn to be diplomatic in truth telling. I tend to avoid hard truths because I am severely lacking in that particular skill. I'm curious to know your thoughts on this.

Bruce said...

Whatever the name keep writing away for certainly you do have something to say :)

. said...

I appreciate the input. I don't really know that it has anything to do with being a pastor though. I've never tried to hide who I am from my congregation (though they might like me to sometimes). It certainly doesn't have to do with my church either. I think there are only a handful of people from there who read my blog anyway, and even though there may be frustrations sometimes, it's not that I have a "problem" with anybody or anything there. And I've certainly never had a problem complaining about things anyway (God knows that, and everybody else too).

I *think* it's more just a personality thing. I've been pretty depressed lately. I actually have a desire for more church/faith-oriented conversations with like-minded people. But I get dejected easily. You know, when I read somebody say they "like Jesus, and church people, but just not pastors"... and I know it's not personal, because I consider them a friend, but it hurts. It creates a hurdle. Or when I try to get involved in conversations on other blogs, it's easy for me to feel slighted, even if it was never intended. And I think it's especially bad right now because I feel like I am on the outside looking in in our denomination. I just don't feel like I fit anywhere, and the more I seek out a place to fit it, the stupider I feel, and.... yeah, stuff like that.

But Cindy said something that made me think (welcome, Cindy. I visit your blog now and then). Maybe it has to do with me avoiding hard truths. Personally, I DO NOT like the anonymous blog idea. Especially if you're going to point the finger at anyone else. I know there are some who do that because of past hurts, and maybe it's ok until healing comes, but... I think for some it's cowardice and if we can't own up to what we say then we've got worse problems than blogging. But, as you can see, and as Cindy said with herself, I *can* have a problem with 'diplomatic truth-telling.' I think that's why many people don't like to talk with me - they're afraid of what I'm going to say. And that bothers me. It bothers me that people feel that way. Not because 'they' are that way, but because I know they are right.

I am not good at explaining myself. I don't *like* to have to explain myself. I don't like to argue or disagree, or have people argue or disagree with me. So sometimes I just clam up. And, of course, when I do then I get depressed.

So... there's a whole lotta words that probably don't explain anything. To borrow the line from Tom Petty's 'Damn the Torpedoes'... "It's just the normal noises in here."

Sorry this was so long. If anybody can make sense out it, please let me know.

Peace & blessings.

Patricia said...

A while back I was going to suggest "Take No Pleasure" as an alternate name for this blog, not because you take no pleasure in life (you do) but rather to hint at the line from Ezekial, "Take no pleasure in the death of the wicked man but rather in his conversion." (That's not an exact quotation but how I remember it and I'm presently too lazy to Google a more precise rendering.) I do, however, like 12ddm; it has its own intrigue.

On the other matter--finding your people, your voice, communion with others, a good conversation, the right fit. It's tough and maybe even tougher to do so blogging (though you wouldn't think so at first bite). You do a great job of making people feel comfortable even if they aren't like-minded. Just wanted to say that I appreciate that about you.

Cindy said...

"I just don't feel like I fit anywhere, and the more I seek out a place to fit it, the stupider I feel"

boy can i relate to that. And we, in leadership in the church, aren't "supposed" to feel that way, are we? But I sure do.

I can, in fact, make sense of most of what you wrote. I like your style.

Just this week my husband, who leads music with me, attended the obligatory worship committee meeting. Generally he goes because he can let the garbage roll of much better than I can. This time even he came home angry. I figure if I'd have gone, I might have just quit on the spot. Or if I'd said nothing, I would have come home internalizing all that anger and become depressed. (more depressed.) I just can't handle the crap. I try to be strong and diplomatic and patient, but I'm not. The idiocy makes me nuts and I don't have a clue what to do with it. So I look for folks like you, here on the internet, with whom I can at least commiserate. So--- thanks.

arjuna-lj said...

Afraid to speak my mind.

Sad to hear that... I dunno PD, on the one hand, my Mum always said think before one speaks (and the corollary: if one has nothing nice to say, say nothing). On the other hand, maybe I'm coming from a less pressured environment [1], but I've always assumed that readers understand that a blog is personal space - yes, it's public, but if one sets it out as a space for thinking aloud (as most of us do, to some extent) as well as overt communicating, then that's usually pretty clear. One's audience should understand/respect that. Just by being here, we're standing in your space... and should behave appropriately (even if we are on different wavelengths to you at times).

Just my 2c. Personally, I enjoy reading your blog, and get a lot out of it - usually *because* my views are quite different. I like being asked to see the world through someone else's eyes.

cheers
kel in oz

===

[1] I know, it's not that simple - as a preschool teacher in a small country town, I'm very aware that blogging *completely* freely may sometimes be inadvisable :)

dan said...

Patricia (I can never remember if it's "i", "ie" or "y"),
Wow! "Take No Pleasure" would be an awesome blog title. You are a genius. Btw, I never told you that I used your last suggestion during our xmas eve service - thanks. Actually, I think YOU should use that as YOUR blog title though. You should be blogging. Unless you've got that book done yet. ;) I always appreciate your comments.

Cindy,
Yes, I know what you mean about frustrating meetings. In our church we hardly even have any meetings anymore. But I can't say that it has helped much, because sometimes they are needed. So... I don't know what the answer is. It's nice to know I'm not alone though.

Kel,
Yes, I agree. That's pretty much exactly how I feel about blogging. And, I dunno, being a preschool teacher and being a pastor might not be all that different. :) (I'm just joking!). They do have some similarities though.

At any rate, I appreciate all the comments here. Thanks everyone.

Rick said...

Just Thinkin'...

12ddm???

12 Degrees of Dan’s Madness

12 Disciples of Dan’s Methods

12 Dan Delves Methodically

12 Dan Does Meditation

12 Dan da Man

12 Dr. Dan’s Medicine

12 Drat Dat Monkey

12 Disengaged Desperate Men

Love Ya Man, Keep up the good work!

dan said...

Rick,
You have entirely too much time on your hands. :)

Btw... The "take no pleasure" phrase comes from Ezekiel 33:11 ("I take no pleasure in the death of the wicked man, but rather in his conversion, that he may be saved."). I'm liking it more and more.

Milton Stanley said...

Dan, you've changed the name, yes, but it's not a jump to fill in the blanks of 12ddm--Danno's Dangerous Mind Times Twelve. Peace.