Sunday, September 19, 2010

Remembering rich

It was thirteen years ago today that Rich Mullins was killed in an automobile accident in Illinois. Interestingly enough, it happened on a stretch of road we travel when we go back home.

There's not really a lot I can say, but I believe God used his music and writing to help form me into the person I am. He was just coming into his own musically when I was just learning what it meant to follow Jesus. So even though I never knew Rich, I have always felt a sort of bond. He spoke my language. He was one of those few folks who, when attending his shows, I got as much out of the things he said as the songs he played and sang. In many ways he inspired me to go to seminary and into full-time ministry. He is who I thought a preacher should be... and I still wish I could.

There is a nice wikipedia entry about him; and I thought this piece from a radio interview with Rick Tarrant was interesting. It's about his relationship with a woman whom he'd been engaged to, but then she broke it off. Not that I think it's for everyone, but it seems like good advice...
I would always be frustrated with all those relationships even when I was engaged. I had a ten year thing with this girl and I would often wonder why, even in those most intimate moments of our relationship, I would still feel really lonely. And it was just a few years ago that I finally realized that friendship is not a remedy for loneliness. Loneliness is a part of our experience and if we are looking for relief from loneliness in friendship, we are only going to frustrate the friendship. Friendship, camaraderie, intimacy, all those things, and loneliness live together in the same experience... I have no interest in anybody else and she is married to someone else so that's the way it goes and I don't mind that. Right now I cannot imagine that life could be happier married than it is single so I'm not in a panic about getting married. And I think, you know, maybe God wanted me to be celibate and the way that he accomplished that was to break my heart. So that's the way it goes.

Hmm... What can you say.

I feel like there is still a void of some kind. I am sad. I will play some of Rich's music at our worship gathering today.

Peace out; and in.


JAH said...

It is strange how someone you never talk to can seem like such a friend.

Isaac Horwedel said...

I didn't realize that today was the day he died. I still remember reading Arrow Pointing to Heaven. That was the book that started it all for me in a lot of ways. Great quote, too.


dan horwedel said...

I keep telling myself I need to read that book again. One of my favorites.