Friday, December 21, 2012

The first day of winter and the end of... something

Well, it's the first day of winter. The shortest day of the year. I suppose it is only fitting that we received our first measurable snowfall today too. Though we only had a sprinkling on the ground when I woke up, and I believe we are only supposed to get another inch or two today, the temperature has dropped quite a bit (about 25 degrees from yesterday) and it's supposed to be really windy. Just another winter in the Midwest.

And if you believe all that 'Mayan Apocalypse' hype, this is also supposed to be the last day for earth - or some such thing. I don't really even know what all this Mayan end-of-the-world talk is about. I'm thinking this is when their calendar stopped or something. Whatever.

You know, I would be okay if this was the end. As it says in Philippians: "To live is Christ and to die is gain." So... whatever. A friend of mine is always saying - upon hearing reports about someone who is brought back to life or something - that he's going to kill anybody who brings him back to life. I think he's only kidding about the killing them part, but I certainly resonate with that. If I am ever in a position to die I'm not one of those who wants doctors to pull out all stops to keep me alive. Not that I don't love my family and everything, and I would feel bad for my wife, kids and grand-kids, but I'm ready. I've lived an okay life, and even though I have my fair share of regrets, I think I'm okay with things. Not that I have a death wish or anything, but it's more of a 'peace.' So if this is the end... so be it.

My plan for the day is to walk a few miles on the treadmill (I still can't run), go babysit both the grand-kids later this morning (my first time babysitting both of them by myself), go pick up 50 lbs. of hamburger for The Exodus House, have a date with my wife tonight, maybe stop in and see some friends..... I think that's probably a pretty good way to go out. But if not, then there's always tomorrow. And I'm okay with that too.

You know... this has been one sucky year. Outside of my grandson being born, maybe one of the worst year's I've ever had. But as we come to the close of it, I am starting to feel an odd bit of hopefulness or something. I think 2013 will prove to be an eventful year. I believe there are some big changes coming. In fact, I know there are. Yes, it's a bit scary, and I don't really even know what all they will be, but something has got to change, so I am going to try to look at it as a positive. There are some changes that are loooooong overdue, and I think I'm ready to get on with them. We'll see.

So that's about it. This may or may not be my last post. If it is, I'm happy. This blog is sometimes a real pain in the butt to keep up. But if not... I'll be back here tomorrow. Until then... peace out; and in.


Carrie Jade said...

Just so you know, I don't think 2013 will bring you any more grandchildren. So I hope that's not the change you were looking for :)

dan horwedel said...

You're speaking for yourself, of course... right? :)

Unknown said...

Very true. Can't believe my little brother is old enough to be a dad.