Stupid

Yes, I'm whining. I hate being the "new guy." And not just being new, but constantly feeling stupid and worthless. Plus I am bored out of my mind. I think I've forgotten how to think. My brain feels like mush. I know there is no one to blame, and it's just one of those things, but... taking an attitude of humility and service can be frustrating sometimes. It doesn't come natural to me. I want to make a worthwhile contribution, but at the same time, I just want to fade away. So I've been throwing myself a pity party. They're not much fun. Ugh.