Wednesday, December 23, 2015

Germs and small-talk

It occurs to me this morning that I have developed two distinct phobias over the years: I have become somewhat of a germaphobe, as well as a small-talkaphobe.

Yesterday I ended up at our Dowtown facility because the manager there went home sick. The first thing I thought of was to grab my bottle of Lysol so I could disinfect all the door handles, ink pens, phones, keyboard, chair, and whatever else I could think of. I am pretty sure I started to feel sick before I even got there.

I also noticed the other day - we went to the mall - and every time I heard someone cough or sneeze, I found myself holding my breath. I then realized that I breathe different in public places like that.

There are other issues I have with germs, but what I can't figure out is when this phobia developed. I used to shake hands with up to a hundred people every Sunday, and always laughed in the face of the germs that would spread. Suddenly I'm afraid to breathe in public. Hmmm... I guess it still doesn't keep me from going anywhere, or doing anything, but it's interesting to me.

The other thing is small-talk. There are a handful of people I can have episodes of small-talk with - people I am very comfortable with, and with whom I have many similarities and I'm not worried about what I say, or even not saying anything. However, I am growing increasingly aware of becoming awkward in more and more situations. I simply have no interest in listening to people talk about things that I do not care about. I also really struggle being around people I don't know real well.

I suppose some of this is due to being an introvert, but again, it seems to be growing worse. I guess it's result of having less time to myself (which is how I re-charge, as an introvert). Again, it's not debilitating, but it's a thing.

So, I don't know what this has to do with anything, but I've noticed it about myself lately.