Sunday, September 11, 2016
A quiet weekend alone
I spent the weekend pretty much by myself, and got some much needed rest. Jane, Carrie and Anna took a trip to Bloomington, IL and met my mom for a couple days of shopping, swimming, and "girl time." My mom was only able to be there during the day Saturday due to not having anyone to watch my dad, but I think these girl weekends are good for all of them.
The Fort Wayne girls left Friday night after Drew and I got off work. Their drive was a little longer than expected due to some serious rain and high winds, and they didn't arrive until near midnight. They are expected back sometime this afternoon (Sunday), and it should be a much better drive since it's a beautiful sunny fall day.
I had some plans to visit with an old friend in town while they were away, but with my work being so crazy hectic lately, I ended up being sort of a vegetable. Friday night I came home from work, said goodbye to Jane, and that was about it. I was simply exhausted from the stress of my work situation right now. We are changing computer systems and some integral people are gone and basically no one knows what they're doing or supposed to do. Not to mention the pending lawsuit. So after Jane left I went to the store and bought a Tombstone frozen pizza, ate half of it, drank two beers, and basically just sat and stared at the TV set the rest of the night. I couldn't even tell you what I watched.
Saturday I had to work at the Downtown facility. With the computer switch, apparently we can't presently do anything in either system - the old or the new. Fortunately it was a slow day, so I took a few payments - writing them down on a piece of paper for later recording - and avoided answering the phone as much as possible. Afterward I went to the grocery store, kind of drove around town a little bit, and went home and sat on the couch.
Last night I went to "Beatlefest" at the downtown library. It was the last library music event of the summer, and it was pretty crowded. I got my usual Saturday night hamburger there, and sat in my lawn chair. One of the acts last night was the worship leader from our church (Sunny Taylor). She did a set of Beatles songs with her three daughters. It was somewhat of a surreal moment as the four girls held hundreds of people in the palm of their hand. I moved closer to the stage and was simply enjoying the show when all of a sudden I noticed someone leaning against the railing beside me. At first I thought it was a long-haired hippy guy. At one point they said something to me and I noticed it was a woman. I also noticed she was kind of having a hard time keeping it together. She was teary-eyed. Certainly "Hey Jude" will do that to you, but something she said keyed me in to more going on. So we struck up a conversation. It turns out she is from Findlay, Ohio - where we lived prior to coming here. She'd moved here a year ago to be with a guy she met, and she'd just found out he'd been cheating on her. I was a bit torn, because on the one hand I really didn't want to get involved - I'm not a pastor anymore - but on the other hand, my heart sort of tore a bit as I listened. So I actually just used some coaching logic and let her talk. It finally got a little awkward, so I wished her well and said I needed to use the restroom (which I did). While I'm still not sure what the right thing is in situations like that, I moved to a different location and silently prayed for her. After that I continued to listen to the rest of the bands and also continued to be amazed by the young musical talent in Fort Wayne. This could easily be a musical post, but there are more pressing things on my mind right now.
As the fest ended I called Jane and intended to go see if a friend of mine was at our old hangout. Somewhere along the way I just sort of spaced out and ended up home. I think I watched a few episodes of 'Stranger Things' - which we started watching at the urging of friends, but Jane determined she did not like - and I must have just crashed at some point.
This morning I intended to go to church. I continue to be amazed by the impact of communion and a regular liturgy. However, I actually didn't wake up until 9:45 am. I'm not in the habit of setting an alarm on Sunday mornings because I'm usually up in plenty of time to leave for church at 10:15, but apparently my body needs to recoup from all the stress it's been under. I suppose I could have made it to church, but I decided 9/11 would maybe be a good morning to miss.
I am not what you would call a "patriotic" person. Not that I am "un" patriotic, but I just don't get it. I guess I live for another kingdom and have pledged allegiance to something/someOne else. So part of me was hesitant to attend this new church on such a Sunday because I didn't want to find them doing something like saying the Pledge of Allegiance or similar. I seriously doubt that they would, but it just seemed like a good day to hang out alone.
So.... I did. I am feeling more relaxed than I was last week; even yesterday. I think it was good for me to spend some time by myself. Not that I don't love my wife and there's no one I would rather spend time with, but sometimes I gotta get away too. And "getting away" to me is often staying home and sitting in silence.
I shared a thing on Facebook from a blog post I wrote a long time ago. I actually don't even remember writing it (it was in 2009). I went back and forth over whether I should share it or not, because I feel like such a different person than I was then. But maybe it was the prompting of the Holy Spirit or something. Or maybe I shared it because I'm just stupid. At any rate, it was interesting that as I did so, I noticed all the plains at the airport. The Fort Wayne airport is putting on their annual air show this weekend, and there were plenty of planes flying this morning. That was quite a contrast to the tragic 9/11/01 terrorist attack. What really stood out back then was how QUIET it was. They didn't allow any air traffic and the silence was deafening. So today the sound of planes is.... interesting. One would hope we've come a long way since then. I suppose it's also possible that we've just fallen that much further. I do not know.
Anyway, this is a too-long post turning into nostalgic nonsense, so I think I'll just stop.
Peace out; and in.
Posted by dan horwedel