Friday, January 20, 2017

I am the only one to blame for this

Today is inauguration day 2016 in the United States of America. ....

My feelings about Donald Trump have never been favorable. I believe he is disrespectful, immoral, unethical, lacks character, integrity, and is not qualified for the position of president. It has nothing to do with him being a republican, but is strictly personal.

President Obama, on the other hand, is and was "my" president. I refer to him as such because he is the first (and so far, only) president with whom I have identified. We are in the same age bracket, we are both mid-westerners, he "speaks my language" and represents to me how a deep-thinking, dignified person of honor (and faith) should carry themselves. I have the utmost respect for him in spite of any differences we may have on issues.

So, I admit that I am sad to not only see President Obama leave the White House, but to see such a contrast in his replacement. I am sad to no longer feel proud to be an American. I am sad to no longer believe I can trust that our country will at least strive to do the "right thing." I am sad because, honestly - and a little ashamedly - I feel like we lost. There is a sense of defeat, of hopelessness, a sense that we gave it a good shot but in the end - money won out. I feel like a kid who was allowed to dream for a time, but now it's time to put dreams away and let the big boys do what they intended to do all along. Right or wrong, that's how I feel.

And I'm ashamed. I'm ashamed at my level of fear over not only what Trump may do, but all the lunatic Tea Party-ers and big businessmen now in power. I'm ashamed because I got so sucked into putting my hope in politicians and people and presidents. I'm ashamed over the sorrow I feel and the divide I've allowed take root in my brain regarding not only the politicians but their supporters as well. I'm ashamed at how I was 'soaring on the wings of selfish pride.... and I flew too high.' 

This election and transfer of offices has had too much impact on me and occupied too much of my thinking. I have been overly focused on this world, and not enough on where my true home is. I have not risen above it as on wings of eagles.

So when I got up this morning, this inauguration day, I sat at the computer for a long time contemplating what to post or whether to post. Should I remain silent today, in my black shirt and downward gaze? Should I spew my displeasure for all of Facebook to see? Should I stew and wallow in the shadow of my President becoming 'their' President? No, I chose music instead. I ended up being late for work trying to find just the right song to express my feelings. Finally I found the song, and then I had to decide on the best version.

This morning I posted the Jars of Clay song "Worlds Apart" on Facebook. I listened to it in several different versions, maybe 5 times or so. I'm glad I did. It helped me deal with my sadness, but also opened my eyes to my folly. It brought me back to a kingdom reality, not of this world. I posted this version:, though this older one might be my favorite:

The old regime and the new are very much worlds apart. However, Barach Obama was not the Savior, and Donald Trump is not the devil. May I keep reminding myself, this world is not my home - it is worlds apart from my true home and the kingdom I should be living in. I remember thinking how terrible it was when Ronald Reagan - an actor! - was going to be president. It worked out fine, and this too shall pass. It's up to me to fix my eyes on Jesus. No one can ever take that away.

"Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses, let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles. And let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us, fixing our eyes on Jesus, the pioneer and perfecter of faith. For the joy set before him he endured the cross, scorning its shame, and sat down at the right hand of the throne of God. Consider him who endured such opposition from sinners, so that you will not grow weary and lose heart." - Hebrews 12:1-3 NIV
"Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable--if anything is excellent or praiseworthy--think about such things." - Philippians 4:8