I am reading Jane Creswell's great little book 'Christ-Centered Coaching: 7 Benefits for Ministry Leaders.' It's from 2006 and not really anything I haven't heard at some point on the journey, but it's good to read it nonetheless.
I was particularly struck, and have since had stuck in my brain, the section on "Leveraging Your Strengths" (ch. 4).
In this chapter she talks about the difference between strengths and skills. Just this part was a helpful reminder to me. They are not the same thing. Strengths are those things we were born with, our talents, gifts, abilities, personality preferences, and cognitive preferences. As she says, they are so basic to who you are as a human being that you may assume everyone has these strengths. At some points in life, you will be surprised to learn that your set of strengths is unique to you; you just tend to discount them and don't see them as assets that enable you to accomplish a number of different types of work or ministry.
Skills, on the other hand, are acquired. You begin building skills on top of your strengths, even though they may be unknown, almost immediately after birth. You will continue to build skills on top of your strength base as you grow and mature. Children at play are building skills, layering them on top of strengths.
So, merely knowing the difference between strengths and skills can be helpful, but what I found especially insightful was HOW to discover your strengths.
I have always had a difficult time determining what my actual strengths are. I've taken several 'strength-finder' type tests, and even after doing so, and maybe even naming some strengths, I seem to eventually second-guess myself and feel like a fool for thinking I'd actually thought it in the first place.
However, Creswell suggests another way to find our strengths that doesn't require the use of an assessment tool. She says,
Her reasoning: Since our strengths are so basic to us that we erroneously think everyone else possesses the same ones, we will become frustrated with others when they don't display the behaviors that fit what we consider to be "normal." Now, granted, some people are just irritating. However, if you start to notice a pattern to the things that irritate you... that could give you a clue as to what your strengths actually are!"A good way to determine your strengths is to start noticing what irritates you about how others operate."
I don't know... maybe everyone already knew this, but it kind of blew my mind! I haven't really thought it all the way through yet, but when I think about how irritated I can get with people who can't sit and be quiet... I've never considered that could be a strength of mine (solitude/contemplation). Or an awareness of things being out of place (orderliness/detail). I mean, I don't know, maybe I'm just imagining things... but this seems a lot more helpful than any of the assessments I've ever taken.
So, it's something to consider if you're like me and have always struggled with finding your strengths. Maybe give it a try. What irritates you???
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