Every. single. run.

Every single run sucks. No question.

People often say to me, "I don't know why you like to run." Ha! Who said I LIKE to run? Now, it's true, there are things about it that I like. Running in and of itself just plain sucks though. Every time I go out.

This is what I was thinking about as I did my 5-mile run yesterday. Even at this point in the training... Or maybe BECAUSE it's this point in the training... it was hard to get going. The first few miles are gruesome on every run. Usually I start to find a groove around mile 4, 5, or 6... and after that I sometimes don't really even think about the fact I'm running. But almost every time - those first few miles - I don't think I'm going to be able to do it. I'm ready to quit. I've convinced myself I can't take another step.

So, you might ask, why do I continue? I don't really know. Maybe because I know I need to for my physical and mental health. Maybe it's because it feels better afterwards. Maybe it's because I don't know what else to do. So I just run. Slowly.

I can pretend to be a writer. However I know that I am not because my writing lacks substance and style. I can pretend to play music. However I know I am not a musician because I lack skill. It's hard to say I'm not a runner though, because even though I run extremely slow... I still run. I'm not sure what I will be when I can't run anymore, but for now, I guess this is what I do.

Anyway, this is kind of a useless post. Just an exercise in putting something on the web today. This is a sampling of what goes through my mind when out for a run. Fun stuff... not.