A couple weeks ago I wrote about applying for this management training program through the YMCA I work at. Well, guess what? I didn't get in. I was re.ject.ed!
Honestly, I was a little surprised. I thought I looked pretty good on paper. My boss even wrote a darn glowing recommendation that shocked even me. However, I knew up front I had four counts against me: I'm white, male, past middle-age, and a follower of Jesus. The Y, in their efforts to embrace "diversity" and all, seems to take issue with such things. Not that I'm suggesting this had anything to do with why I didn't get in (I'm sure there could be other reasons), but it probably didn't help.
Anyway, last night I was fighting the temptation to feel sorry for myself, and I woke up this morning with these thoughts:
- Being rejected is not the same as being a reject.
- Life is not a baseball game. There are more than three strikes.
- The beat goes on.
REJECTED...
I do have to admit, my first thought when I read through the poorly written email notifying me of my 'non-acceptance' was, "here we go again." I am not good enough, not worthy, and not wanted. I felt rejected.
The truth is... I was rejected! But people get rejected all the time. They get cut from teams, fired from jobs, broken up with, divorced, have papers returned, ideas spurned... there are all sorts of ways to be rejected!
Somewhere around the interwebs are those statistics of how many times Babe Ruth struck out, how many baskets Michael Jordan missed, how many times so-and-so failed before they invented such-and-such. Just like our failures are not final, being rejected does not make us rejects either. It simply means we try again.
IT'S NOT BASEBALL...
Life is not a baseball game. We get more than three strikes. In fact, I don't know that anyone is even keeping score (see the previous paragraph).
Again, though, yesterday my mind went to: I was rejected as a pastor by my old church, rejected as a board member at our "current" church, and now I've been rejected for this program through my job. The third strike!
I suppose if I wanted to delve, I could find MORE THAN three strikes against me over the last several years. And yet, I'm still standing. I am not out. No one has disqualified me. I'm still breathing. I still have life in these here bones. So do you. It's not over 'til it's over, as some baseball person likely said. Jesus probably had something to say about it too.
THE BEAT GOES ON...
I grew up watching The Sonny & Cher Show. If you're not familiar... you kind of 'had to be there' to appreciate it. But did you know it started out as 'The Sonny & Cher Comedy Hour'; ended when they got a divorce; but a few years later - still divorced - they started the identical "show" again? They truly did live the words of their song, "The Beat Goes On." If nothing else, listen to the lyrics on this Youtube link. Life goes on.
When people ask why I run mile after mile, it's to keep the beat going. Sometimes it's the only thing that keeps me going. I sign up for races to force myself to train. Otherwise... who knows. Running is really nothing more than cheap therapy for me. Plus it's one of the few things I can actually do.
So as I drove in this morning, tempted to not do a thing at work (you know, to 'pay them back' for rejecting me), I realized I don't do what I do at work to earn anyone's acceptance either. I go through my day, making coffee, folding towels, wiping up sweat, chatting with folks... not because I want a management job. I do it because that's what keeps me going, and I like it. I'm a conscientious, somewhat considerate, caring person. And the beat goes on.
For whatever reason, I need order in my life. I don't particularly like getting up at 4 am every day, but I need the consistency. I feel out of sorts when I don't have a schedule, or mundane tasks to keep me occupied. I suppose it has something to do with my personality or something in my brain, but regardless, it's what keeps me sane. I know that, and there's no shame in it.
I guess I say all this to say... I am okay. Really. I think I actually survived this bit of rejection, and couldn't really care less!
Of course, tomorrow is always a new day. While it's true it may be worse... It's also just as true it might be even better. Who knows.
La de da de de... La de da de da...
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