I'm tired of dying

I've been so tired lately. And often felt like I was dying.

I'm tired of feeling like that.

I'm tired of dying.

It doesn't have to be that way.

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So, here it is, Friday early-afternoon. It was 25 degrees outside this morning. I worked from 5 am to 9 am. I was actually busy the entire time. It was good. Then...

Early voting...
For the first time in my life I voted early! I picked up Lady Jane and we headed to the government building downtown and cast our ballots for the upcoming mayoral election. Yes, it's only a local election. It's also true I don't put a lot of faith in politics or government and often don't vote. Today we did. Four days before we needed to. Because we wanted to.

There are two reasons we voted (early): First, I like Fort Wayne. The current mayor has been in office for a number of years, and he seems to have the city on a good trajectory. It's a great city that is growing in all the right ways in my opinion. We both work downtown, and it has been completely transformed in the last ten years. I'm also friends with the mayor's right hand man.

The second reason: I have had "encounters" with the other candidate. We used to attend the same church. Let me just say those experiences were not positive, and I don't really care to have people like that representing me if I can help it. That's about as nice as I can put it.

Pumpkin contest winner...
Yours truly won the pumpkin decorating contest at work. I won this giant Debrands carmel apple. I think it was like $35.

I actually made two pumpkins for the contest. I wouldn't have participated at all, but only one person had entered on the day it started (out of maybe fifteen employees). So I was trying to make it look a little better, and make my boss feel better. He simply does not understand how to relate to people. Or communicate. Anyway, mine were the two middle ones. The one with a picture of my face stuck on the side of the pumpkin was the overwhelming winner. Though I was somewhat surprised the other one did receive some votes.

Flow...
I just finished watching the video of my friend Matt give a talk at the Creative Mornings session in October. It's a Fort Wayne thing, and though I'm not entirely sure what it is, it sounds pretty cool. It also may be a stretch to say Matt and I are friends. He teaches a class at my Y on Wednesday mornings, and we have good chats. I guess, technically, we are Facebook "friends"... So, I'm counting him as a friend.

Anyway, he gave this talk on FLOW that's about 45 minutes long. You can listen to it here if you are interested: https://creativemornings.com/talks/matt-kelley?fbclid=IwAR2NsrVMy7t5z3c2aeoa6Fnebu-1QWWAYrH2wgniH2U8CZOwYfw484BVDjQ

I like what he wants in a workplace: You want to work with people you can trust, people you respect, and people who believe in what you do (together). Also, he mentioned Neil Young, Bob Dylan, Paul Westerberg, and Annie Dillard. :) I like him. For a younger guy, we seem to have a lot in common as far as ideals and influences.

Illini basketball recruit...
It was also a big day for me as a University of Illinois sports fanatic. I'd been chomping at the bit all week at the prospect of Andre Curbelo - a 2020 4-star point guard from New York - and whether or not he would sign with the Illini. His announcement was scheduled for this morning, so I was like a kid on Christmas Eve waiting to see if he picked us. He did! I'm so happy. :)

Now if we can get Adam Miller. I'm hearing he may announce Monday. Signing day is not until November 11th (I think), but I will take whatever good news I can get when it comes to Illinois sports.

Surviving halloween...
It shouldn't go without saying that... I did survive another halloween. I know a LOT of people love halloween. And there's probably nothing wrong with it. However, it is a time of great angst for me. I don't know why. But I actually had a couple bad dreams about it this week. I always do. And then, on November 1, the burden seems lifted. Don't ask me why...

---

As my friend, Jason Ringenberg, penned a number of years ago: "The point is dying if we don't live when we're alive."

You know, I've moped around for too long. I don't want to be bummed out, depressed, scared, or anxious. I want to live!

So, why not? What's the worst that can happen? Death? Ha!

Tomorrow I turn 57 years old. It's another number, that's all.

I may or may not live any better, but I'm still here. I'm still standing.

Unless you have a notion to kill me... there isn't much you can do about it.

Peace out; and in.