Sober (ish)

I've gone almost seven weeks without drinking alcohol. Almost, as in, I have cut waaaaaaaay back.

Actually, the first two weeks of December I didn't drink at all. It was right after the hernia surgery, and I just didn't want to mess with it. I was home for a week, I was taking pain killers... it just seemed like a good idea. Then in January, Jane wanted to go on the "whole 30" eating plan again (we do it every now and then), and we decided to only drink on Friday nights when we go out to eat.

I'd pretty much just been drinking wine anyway. However, it was every night of the week. I would have a couple beers when we went out to eat (usually once a week), but then I'd still drink wine when we got home on those nights.

So, what started all this? Well, clear back on October 10, James Clear asked a question in one of his weekly emails:

"What is one thing you can remove from your life that would improve it?"

When I saw that I immediately thought: alcohol! Not that I have anything against it, or people who drink it. Shoot, I still consider myself a drinker. But I am a better person when I drink less. My mind is clearer, I have more energy, my moods are more stable, and... I'm simply not as stupid.

I think it would be nice to not drink at all. Yet there are still times when it seems like less hassle to just do it - on social occasions and such. And, honestly, there are times when I feel it helps keep my head from exploding (like after a really bad day or week). Hopefully as I get older those times will be less and less (as they seem to be).

I'm tempted to totally abstain, but I almost think I'm better off not to. I can tend to get so intense about things. It's like it helps keep me humble to give in sometimes. I don't know.

So, for now, I am mostly sober. Which I like. I do not like myself when I come home and need a drink right after work (especially when that's 1:30 in the afternoon). I also don't like those mornings when I wake up and have to check my phone to see what I may or may not have written the night before. Ugh.

Yes, I would say pretty confidently that my lowest moments as a human being have involved alcohol. So removing it even a little bit improves my life. And while I am not trying to be perfect, I do hope to always be getting better. Wiser.

This seems like a good decision. It may or may not last... but I feel pretty good about it right now.