Facebook reminded me this morning that our last time in church was exactly 1 year ago today! That's the longest I've gone without since I was in my mid-twenties; it may be the longest for Jane ever!
The above pic is from our last Sunday. We hadn't been attending that particular church too long, what with the shut-down and all, but when my friend stopped pastoring there, we simply didn't know where else to go.
I'm not proud of that, nor happy. We didn't intend to stop going. I guess it just sort of happened... and I believe we are honestly worse people for it.
Certainly I've had my issues with 'the church' over the years, but even at it's worst I've always liked attending worship services and being a part of a church community. Not only do I miss the spiritual element, but the social as well. We are lonely, discouraged, and lacking purpose in life. I attribute all three at least partially to not being part of a church.
I know there is nothing keeping us from starting again. It's just hard. For starters, I wouldn't know where to go. I'm also aware of virtual or online options. We tried for awhile. It just doesn't work for us.
And, please, spare me the dishonor of trying to alleviate guilt by saying 'the church isn't the building' or 'it isn't only on Sundays' or whatever. I know all that, and I don't really feel any guilt. We simply miss gathering with others to worship and being part of a community. I believe there's a power in that and we are feeling the effects of its absence.
I suppose there are alternatives we may not have thought about, and certainly people in places all over the world manage to cope without "church life." I'm not looking for pity (I know we're not alone in this) but simply lamenting the fact. We aren't very happy with our lives, and I think this is a big part of the reason.
So, if you're the praying sort, I would appreciate your thoughts and prayers in this regard. It's no fun.
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"Let us hold unswervingly to the hope we profess, for he who promised is faithful. And let us consider how we may spur one another on toward love and good deeds, not giving up meeting together, as some are in the habit of doing, but encouraging one another—and all the more as you see the Day approaching." - Hebrews 10:23-25
2 comments:
Thanks for putting my thoughts into words. I don't feel guilty about not going, I just miss being part of a church. Some may not feel the need for that, but apparently we do.
Thanks, Dan, for this post and, Jane, for your comment. As you know, we are on a similar path.
It's been longer for us than for you, though I have watched my share of so-called worship services throughout the COVID era.
Dan, I'm convicted by the Hebrews passage you quoted. However, I've personally never encountered a congregation that meets intentionally to "spur one another on to love and good deeds."
My sense of the history of the group we're no longer directly active in, is that we began being all about meeting with the goal of "producing fruit in keeping with repentance."
Certainly, we are not advancing spiritually through all of this, though we are not retreating either. It's an uncomfortable struggle.
I wish you both well. May the Lord bless you and keep you...
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