The aesthete

Hello, it's me...

No, I'm not singing that Todd Rundgren song. I have been living in Kierkegaard's aesthetical sphere for the past five or so years, and I'm tired of it.

From my reading of Donald D. Palmer's little book 'Kierkegaard For Beginners,' I learned of SK's three spheres of existance (aesthetical, ethical, and religious). His description of the aesthetical man was like a splash of cold water in my face. Geez, how did he know??

Kierkegaard believed that aestheticism could not really provide a true form of selfhood. Rather, it was a form of alienation from selfhood. You are denying who you were meant to be.

So what is an aesthete? Palmer says in today's world it could range anywhere from the "couch potato sitting in his undershirt with a can of beer in hand in front of the television watching his second Sunday afternoon football game," to the business person who lives solely to make the almighty dollar. To quote Palmer:

"What all forms of aestheticism have in common, from the most boorish to the most refined manifestations, is that they are governed by what Freud would later call 'the pleasure principle,' the pursuit of pleasure and the flight from pain."

In other words, "aestheticism" is a form of hedonism, whereby your life is wrapped up in whatever makes you feel good, and avoiding what doesn't. The result is that, whether consciously or unconsciously, you are never in control of yourself. We're driven by outside forces/desires.

And... this leads to boredom once you discover how shallow this life is. Which, if one does not move on to the ethical and religious spheres (religious is a poor choice of words in my opinion), cynical apathy will swallow you up.

Yes, this happened to me somewhere along the way. I started living only for myself. No concern for others. Afraid of 'getting involved.' Petrified of being hurt... again. Now totally cynical and apathetic.

I remember when I worked at the self-storage place, at a time when I was drinking heavy and had started smoking again, a friend asked how I could do that to myself when I seemed so health-conscious. My response was, "I smoke because I'm bored and I drink to try to forget." [For the record, I no longer smoke, and don't drink near that much].

***

I read a prayer the other day that went like this:

"Lord, we have nothing to fear in your presence. Your purposes always come to pass. Help us to live with such certainty in your power that we expect miracles in our daily lives. Amen."

I don't know about you, but I do not expect miracles. Ever. However, maybe it was a miracle that I bought this book so many years ago, could never get into it, and just now finally started reading it and it 'clicked.' Perhaps then I didn't need confronted with this truth, and the good Lord knew I would need to be woke from my slumber now.

You just never know.

At any rate, knowing is just a start. Awareness is good, confession powerful, repentance is where freedom is found. It's time to turn this thang around.

***

Psalm 51:10-12

Create in me a pure heart, O God,
    and renew a steadfast spirit within me. 

Do not cast me from your presence
    or take your Holy Spirit from me. 

Restore to me the joy of your salvation
    and grant me a willing spirit, to sustain me.