We live in a lonely world. People, people everywhere, and not a... Oh, wait, that's water. Well, you know what I mean. Everyone is depressed, suicide rates are high, relationships faltering, and people feel isolated and unknown.
I read an interesting story this morning about a company in Japan where you can actually RENT a friend. It's called Client Partner, and has nothing to do with sex. You simply pay someone to go out to eat with, or stay home to eat with, watch TV, go shopping, or just about anything (or nothing). I suppose in America we call these people counselors, or pastors/priests.
Mark Yaconelli makes a living teaching, storytelling, and doing community facilitation. In his book Between the Listening and the Telling: How Stories Can Save Us he talks about the difference between his public work and private work. He says the private - 'hushed conversations in hallways; written notes left on the podium; the hurting young man who waits to talk with him after the auditorium has emptied; the haggard father who wants to buy him a beer' - is often the most important role he plays. It's a pretty moving section (actually, the whole book is, to me), and he says this on p. 90:
And when I listen - when I truly listen to these honest and broken and beautiful and vulnerable people - what I hear is the sound of longing. What I hear is the human heart crying for release. Release, freedom, peace, something (anything) besides these false impersonations of ourselves. And when I listen, I hear them say: Tell me I matter. Ask me a good question. Echo back to me what I know. Trust me until I trust myself. Remind me why I love my life. Give me a chance to say I'm sorry. Invite me to light a candle for those I love. Help me celebrate what is good in the world and in me. Ask me to tell you my story.
He adds a little later, "And to do this, to put their lives into story, people need an accompanier, a companion, someone who can listen their lives into meaning."
Yeah... As I struggle to make sense of my life, in a job where I'm alienated, ignored and feeling older by the day, with no church connection, fewer friends almost daily it seems... it ain't easy. Fortunately I have a loving wife, and I know this does not describe everyone's situation, but our society is structured such that this is no longer a personal issue, but a systemic one.
If I'd had half a brain I would have pushed more into the life-coaching thing, or even tried pastoring again. I firmly believe people need a chance to talk, to be heard, and to listen. And, let's be real, not via social media (which doesn't really exist anymore anyway)!
So, I'm just going to leave this here. ...And that's all for now.
***
2 Corinthians 13:14
“May the grace of the Lord Jesus Christ, and the love of God, and the fellowship of the Holy Spirit be with you all.”
1 comment:
After the discussions we have had and the experiences of not being listened to, I find myself now trying to be a better listener. To resist following up someone's story with a story of my own which is either a little happier than their happy story or a little sadder than their sad story. Kind of the "you think that's something, listen to this" mentality that I know so many of us experience. Thanks for the good reminder.
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