Burning bridges and right things

“What’s your definition of a burned bridge?” he snapped. “Standing up for what you believe, or keeping your mouth shut and not doing the right thing? I’m not that guy, if you want me to keep my mouth shut. I’m going to tell you you are full of s— if you are full of s—.”

When I think of George Karl I recall him as an innovative basketball coach. That's how I knew him (not that I 'knew' him or 'know' him, but that's my recollection). I grew up watching the NBA on TV and following the game until it became about nothing but money and celebrity and... money. From the days of Oscar Robertson, Wilt Chamberlain, John Havlicek, Lou/Kareem, up to Shaq and Sir Charles. Isaiah Thomas had something to do with my sour-ing (after his playing days), and then... the money. College basketball is now going down that path for me. Because it's not just the money made, but how it has influenced the game and made it so much ... sooooo much ... worse.

Anyway, this isn't about basketball.

I read with interest this free article in The Athletic about George, because I have fond memories of him as a coach, and maybe in the back of my mind I was aware of our similarity in personality. I resonate his feelings on the state of basketball, but also some of our regrets in life.

At best I/we have been described as passionate people. Intense is another way to say it. Certainly that doesn't have to be a bad thing - caring deeply about life and people and things. However, perhaps there's a fine line to "hot headed," jack ass," and "idiot."

The quote by George at the top of the page captured my attention because I know it all too well.

I absolutely hate the bridges I've burned in my life. If that's even what happened. It feels like it to me. People I've had "a falling out" with, whether it was mutual or just in my own mind. It hurts. A lot. Perhaps the hardest part is that I know in most instances it was mostly because of me!

I've never wanted to be a jerk, but I've never known how to walk that line of: "Standing up for what you believe, or keeping your mouth shut and not doing the right thing?"  (I envy people who do seem to know how to do this).

In the church world they say folk like me are gifted akin to Prophets. The truth-tellers. Or, as George says, the people who "...tell you you are full of s— if you are full of s—.”

Yet, even there, for as much as some have tried to say people like me are needed... it's very lonely work. No one thanks you for telling them they're full of s---!

At the same time, there is a fine line between thinking that's what you're doing, and actually just being a grumpy old man. Maybe there are degrees to it - like a spectrum - and circumstances can lend to going too far sometimes.

I don't know. What I do know is... I appreciated Jason Quick's article on George Karl. I always appreciated George, and what he did for the game of basketball I used to love. And now I'm thinking about burned bridges and doing the right thing.

Whether I will ever figure out what the right thing is or not is anybody's guess. But I still want to always be trying to do it.

I just wish I knew how to do it better...