We made a quick trip to the old hometown this past weekend. We had a concert at the venue where we volunteer on Friday night (Fleetwood Gold band), so we headed that way Saturday morning and returned Monday.
The trips there and back were both uneventful - about 4 3/4 hours each. For some reason traffic wasn't bad on Saturday or Monday morning.
WEDDING
Once we arrived at my mom's house we only had a couple hours before we had to be in Kewanee for a wedding. Jane's nephew's daughter (apparently that's a grandniece or great-niece) was getting married. It was a smallish wedding in a Methodist church. Fortunately the air conditioning was working well (it was perhaps low 90s outside), and it was a very upbeat ceremony that lasted a mere 20 minutes from start to finish. I actually don't mind attending weddings like this! Though, you know me, I didn't escape without tearing up just a bit. But in a good way!
The reception was a block over and started in the upstairs of a reception hall. Unfortunately, the air conditioner was not working so well. Apparently everything was all set up for the meal already though, so we had hors de'oeuvres and drinks until the wedding party arrived, then ate the meal, and THEN everyone headed downstairs to a quite nice - and cool - party room for the dancing and debauchery.
All in all it was a nice time. We got to visit with several members of Jane's family - including three of her four brothers, and some of their kids and grand kids. It was neat seeing the younger kids (from grade school age up to college) having so much fun together!
WORK
Sunday was what a typical Saturday would normally be like at my mom's. Jane went to see her brother who is home bound, and I had a list of chores. I went for a run when mom went to church, then started in on weed trimming, lawn edging, picking up walnuts, tearing out a flower bed, and whatnot. I couldn't believe I actually got her old push mower to start! It was soooooo hot though, so I only lasted until mid-afternoon and then I was cooked. I spent the rest of the day watching football (except my mom HAS TO watch the Indiana Fever whenever they're on TV), and also took care of a few things indoors.
WALLS
I just can't shake this feeling I had at the wedding reception...
It was so neat seeing all the nieces, nephews and grands having so much fun together. I really miss that our kids lost out on that, and that our grand kids have too...
Yet, there was one point in the evening where the DJ played this song, and all the teens/20-somethings (who were mostly already all on the dance floor) really got into it and were all joining together singing the chorus of this song. It was a heavy rock song, but I wasn't at all familiar with it. Yet I was intrigued by the line they were all singing: "Wall to wall and I still ain't sold out!"
Well, turns out I wasn't familiar with the song 'Sold Out,' because it's by the country artist Hardy. It took me a little digging to even discover all this. Ah... now it makes sense.
You can find the lyrics via the above youtube link. It's about small-town, redneck pride. And... I get it. There was a time in my life I very much owned that. Actually, I didn't know any other way. And... honestly, there's a part of me that does wonder if I have "sold out." Or, maybe more appropriately, wonders if things wouldn't be better if I'd stayed there...
There's another part that knows that was just not possible. It was time to move, and if I tried to recreate that, it would not be like what it was.
At any rate, it left me a bit torn. I am totally against the idea of "selling out" for money: from athletes to actors to working people. I'd like to think I haven't sold out on my ideals and the values I hold most dear. There is still a part of me that appreciates where I'm from, the people who helped form me, and the place my life started and developed. I hope to never lose that.
I also hope to not be narrowed by nostalgia. It's a great thing to ponder from time to time... But it's a terrible way to make a life.
So, I pray for the wisdom to appreciate those things worth appreciating, the courage to move forward in ways that warrant, and the humility to never thing I know what's best for anyone else.
And... I gotta run, so I'm leaving this one here as is without re-reading. Hopefully it makes some sense and doesn't have too many typos. :)
1 comment:
Very good description of the back home feeling. I wonder what we would be like if we had never left, but at the time, I believed with all my being that leaving was what we were to do.
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