In ch. 11 of NO PERFECT PEOPLE ALLOWED, Burke quotes Thoreau,
"[Most people] lead lives of quiet desperation... an unconscious despair is concealed even under what are called the games and amusements of mankind."
I saw a perfect example of this last night. Made a late-night stop for chicken qasadeias (sp?) and there were seveal people at the bar of this particular restaurant. They were the friendliest people I had run across in some time. But in a matter of minutes you could tell they were all terribly lonely. And... maybe it wasn't even that they were so friendly as they were just really 'desperate.' One woman in particular was just giving out wayyyy too much information about her personal life. One of the guys couldn't stop talking. Pretty soon even the bartender was sharing personal stuff about her life. It was almost like a movie. And it was kinda funny as I was sitting there. But... in reality, it was really sad. The late-night games and amusements of these kind folks were revealing the quiet desperation of their hearts.
AFter encounters like that I am always torn. On the one hand, I should have spoken up more and interjected some hope into these peoples lives. But on the other hand, I am somewhat in the same boat. Serious doubts about my ability to pastor a church; my intellect and understanding of Scripture and people; fear of losing my hearing and eyesight; fear of failure, or success, of the unknown; worrying about friends and family and people in my church; etc., etc.
Burke says on p.212: "...sometimes the greatest act of faith is simply hanging on until it gets better... God knows what we're enduring and it matters to him."
Yeah. All desperation, fear, insecurity... it's probably all a lack of faith. A lack of trusting God. Forgive me, Lord. I believe; Help me in my unbelief. The weight of the world does not have to rest on my shoulders. You have offered to take it. So here. Thank You. I love You.
revolution, friends. and peace.
3 comments:
I was there because I liked the quesadillas.
Mike,
Actually, even though this was, in fact, the type of restaurant you are thinking of, it was not the same location. If I remember correctly this was on the east side of town. So, sorry, but I don't think you were there. Of course, I didn't know you at the time, so maybe you were. I don't recall any chainsaw salesman though.
Have a good 'last day' if you read this today!
dh
Well, it could have been ours, the description matches. I'm just glad you never met the Wednesday girl, one night she was speaking very frankly about her brazillian wax with her foot on one of the low shelves indicating and describing the process. I was looking around wondering what the new people were thinking. I had been desensitized by then and no longer wore my hat when I went there.
And thanks for the well-wish, I walk out of her in an hour and a half and don't come back until next year. WOOHOO!!! But I can't dump all that here, I need a BIG piece of paper! Such as my blog.
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