Yesterday was not a good day for me. I am still somewhat overwhelmed from seeing my post about the EC linked all over. Plus I am having some frustrations at my church - too much to do and not enough time, energy, or desire at the moment. And... I could really use a VACATION (which I will be on next week, thankfully).
I was pretty stressed from the start yesterday. Then I had a few comments made; a few snubs; had a couple kids come and get cookies and then leave; a nursery worker "snuck out" and went home instead of coming into the sanctuary since we didn't need an extra. And I kinda blew it during the service. Not in a "big" way, but bad enough. As usual, I messed up a song; I made the usual fool of myself at different times; but what I regret is that I preached from my frustration rather than any sort of passion. I don't know, maybe they're linked. But it didn't feel like it. It felt bad. There was a serious weight over the place yesterday. There was a serious weight on ME yesterday. I guess the good thing is that it was one of the lowest attended Sunday mornings we have had.
So... this morning I rearranged my reading order and began reading "Simply Christian" by N.T. Wright. I think I've been worrying about too many things that I shouldn't be worrying about lately.
And, for those of you that are preachers yourself, I read a great article by Gordon McDonald (see it here) entitled "Soul-Deep: Part 1". Gordon says he heard this message from heaven: "Don't preach; just talk out of your heart to them about what you've been hearing me say. You're prepared; you're ready; just talk to them." It is a good article (if you're a preacher anyway). That's what I want to do - just talk about what I hear God saying. My fear is... do I hear God saying anything? Maybe I need to quit worrying about what "I'm" going to say, and start concentrating more on LISTENING. okay.
peace. revol...
3 comments:
Dan, take that vacation! It'll probably go a long way in helping to restore your soul and re-fire your passion. I'm not sure what your church will let you take, but I always recommend to my pastor-friends that they take a "quarter-break" (3-4 days away) in each quarter of the year other than when they take their vacation; and that they take their vacation time all-at-once, rather than splitting it up like most pastors do.
Years ago, a pastor-mentor of mine spoke to me of studies that had been done which discovered that two weeks of consecutive vacation is only helpful in helping the "rpm's" to drop off, so to speak. Consecutive days away for vacation had to exceeed two weeks if they were truly to be "therapeutic" (i.e. restorative). These studies applied to anyone in "people work", pastors included (and probably even more so with them).
These are difficult findings to live by; that I know well. In pastoral work, there are a hundred "reasons" why we cannot even consider breaking away for 3 or more weeks in a row for vacation. We usually convince ourselves that the ministry could not endure such a lengthy absence. And yet, if our souls are not renewed and our spiritual and emotional passion re-fueled, what in the world will we draw from to encourage and teach and lead those in our congregation, our community, and... how about our family?
Presently, two pastor friends of mine have ignored all of this so long, that they now require lengthy sabbaticals in order (hopefully) to continue in their calling as pastors (and sabbaticals represent a far lengthier absence than a healthy vacation).
A last word of encouragement: don't beat yourself up over mistakes made and people who were no-shows, and the like. NOBODY is 100% "on" 100% of the time. And I find it amazing that in the midst of all this, you still had the presence of mind to dwell on the following:
"Don't preach; just talk out of your heart to them about what you've been hearing me say. You're prepared; you're ready; just talk to them."
Sounds to me like you were hearing what God was saying to you!
Blessings!
Chris,
I appreciate the advice. And I agree. Honestly, it's hard for me to see it happening though. I've only been gone for 2 weeks one time, and it did not go well. In fact, I think I've only had one one-week vacation where I wasn't either contacted during the vacation, or had people waiting for me when I got back with some kind of "crisis." It's amazing how quickly that can take the air out of things. But... I take responsibility for it, because it's something I've created - or at least enabled. And vacations are usually such a pain because I've always taken care of planning everything and getting everything ready for when I'm gone. They're not really vacations - it's more a case of I just have to work harder before and after. But it's nobody's fault but mine.
I am glad you said something, because this is an issue I really need to address.
BTW, I do get three weeks vacation each year; plus, last year the council offered me something they call "Sunday Sabbaticals" - I work in the office during the week, but can take those Sundays off. Those are weeks that really help me catch up on a lot of stuff that gets pushed to the side. But, your point about taking more than two weeks in a row is true. Now the task of figuring out how to do it.
Thanks again. Peace to you.
dan
Thanks Randy. And I love the flag banner on your site. That is hilarious, indeed. :)
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