MR raised a GREAT question, and I thought I would make it a separate post. His question/comment was:
Pastor Dan, do you feel that folklore detracts from religion? Specifically, do you think if we weren't fed stories about Santa Claus, the Easter Bunny, the Tooth Fairy, et al. in our formative years that as adults we wouldn't be waiting for the "other shoe to drop," so to speak, on our religion? Maybe by the time we're 9, we've become accustomed to being duped, which builds up our skepticism as a culture at an early age; the result of having the rug pulled out from under us so many times.ADDED LATER: Man, you got me thinking. I know some people think it is perfectly okay to tell our kids tales and fables - that it's good for the imagination. And I don't have a problem with that... as long as we tell them the truth.
We didn't play up the whole Santa/Easter Bunny/etc. thing with our kids, but we didn't burst their bubbles either. I'm not sure it's healthy to just tell them right from the start that all these things aren't real and that all their friends are idiots. But I don't think we (and I'm speaking from a Christian perspective here) need to "play along" either. We 'can' be indifferent, and when they're old enough to ask, or to handle the situation, I believe they should be told the truth. (But this kinda sounds like a copout now that I read it).
It is a rather sticky thing, because if we believe the Bible about our "yes being yes and no being no" then we should be honest people. And a lot of our dishonesty isn't really even stated - but more just 'conceded.' And I can certainly see how a kid could grow up thinking, "Well, you always told me about Santa/E.B./T.F./etc., and you told me about God too... so... do I think the same thing about all THAT stuff?"
I'm glad my kids are older. The first time Carrie asked Jane about Santa, Jane just told her the truth, and I think she turned out pretty darn good. Hmm... this has me thinking about my responsibility as a pastor though (thanks, Mike). A really good question.
Does anybody else have any thoughts on this? I would appreciate hearing them.
7 comments:
You know you have a good post when you have to comment on it yourself...
I think this was a pretty good way to handle the situation (stolen without permission from an unknown site):
"When did you learn the truth about Santa? Age three. My parents said it was a good story that other families liked to tell, and encouraged me to pretend, but to refrain from pissing in other punch bowls."
Dan, we don't want to talk about cultural practices and their affect on faith. :D For all intents and purposes, parents ARE Santa Claus, and I think they very much enjoy that role, so they may be touchy about the subject. And, incidentally, may be why that conversation died on the vine.
I was hoping to get more input from people with kids, but I recall a good answer from my mother when she had to come clean about Santa. She said "no, there isn't a Santa Claus, but there was a Saint Nicholas." Which created an excellent segue into the validity of religion.
So, the basic question of whether infusing, then retracting stories of mythical characters affects the cohesiveness of faith in religious figures is off the table, and I certainly didn't meant to pick on Santa...he gave me some pretty richeous stuff when I was a kid.
I guess if I had to simulate a response though, I would say: Those characters have been around a very long time, and religion has waxed and waned throughout. It's more likely that people go to God when they need Him. World Wars, Great Depression, hardship in general. As we have moved away from these collosal problems, we have become more independent. One might even argue that marriage is suffering in the face of independence. Women didn't have all the rights men had, and even fewer options until recently. Now marriage is an option and certainly more disposable than it was. I'm not blaming women, I'm saying that a marriage of equals is harder to maintain than the old bread-winner, dinner-on-the-table model. So as independence has affected marriage, so has independence affected religion. Despite the ravings of the news channels, we're just not as afraid as we were. One last item on the dissolution of the nuclear family (if that's the right term). I've heard that we form our model of God based on our fathers. I don't know if it's true, but after I heard it (COUGH!InFightClubCOUGH!) I thought it may be true. So then I have to ask, what if there is no father, or you only see him on weekends? Is that our first taste of a separation from God?
Okay, we've gotten too deep... someone yell up there and see if they can toss down a rope ladder or something.
MR,
First of all, Fight Club is a good movie.
Second... I've actually had a couple of emails from people disagreeing about the Santa theory (though they wouldn't say why). It IS a rather touchy subject. I think you are right on about it being an "excellent segue into the validity of religion". We can be honest without quashing dreams for God's sake. It's not the same thing as being a Scrooge! But, it's probably kind of like the "little whore store" at the mall... People who take their kids there probably see it in a way different light than the people who just walk by and look in the window.
And as far as "those" characters being around a long time and religion surviving.... I agree. But also, I have to wonder if it doesn't have something to do with the end of modernity and the questioning of things by postmoderns. I mean, sure it's been around forever. But with the invention of the printing press, to television, and now to the internet... hasn't this all made commercialization so much easier and more prolific? I don't know.
Good thoughts/questions on independence and absent fathers too. Blue Like Jazz actually talks about that some, and especially Donald Miller's later book "To Own A Dragon" - it is specifically about growing up without a father. But... yep, it's getting kinda deep, and I've got stuff to do. Thanks for sharing.
For the record, if I had kids I would definitely tell them about Santa Claus, I'd probably have them all worked up into a tizzy by the time Christmas got here. But I would have my statement all prepared for when they asked about Santa. I would make sure it was a surgical extraction of the Santa Claus lore while reinforcing it's roots in Christianity. I wouldn't even give my kid a chance to think "I wonder what else isn't real?" So, like a lot of things, I think if it's done right... Bob's your Uncle.
MR said: "Bob's your Uncle".
Hey... is that from "What About Bob?"
You've probably Googled it by now. I needed a quick "out" for that sentence and the British had just the thing. I guess I could have said "easy as pie." But, it just wouldn't have been as unique.
Hah... well, yes, I did have to google it. I was not familiar with this phrase. According to WorldWideWords : "'Bob's your uncle' is a catchphrase which seemed to arise out of nowhere and yet has had a long period of fashion and is still going strong. It’s known mainly in Britain and Commonwealth countries, and is really a kind of interjection. It’s used to show how simple it is to do something: “You put the plug in here, press that switch, and Bob’s your uncle!”."
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