...when death is on the line (any guesses on the movie?).
I don't like being around death. And I know that it's not "the end" and all that. But I still hate being around when people are dying. I don't especially like hospitals anyway.
This afternoon I went to the hospital to visit someone - which I didn't mind, even on my day off - and when I got to the room it was empty and the bed was made. I asked the nurse and she thought they must have been discharged - as no one had been in the bed since she arrived. I thought that was odd, since I've been to that room every day for over a week, but what do I know, so I left. But... as I passed the front desk, I thought I better ask, just to make sure. Sure enough, she'd just been moved to another room - in the "new part."
I wasn't expecting where this was. It was ICU; and the patient was all hooked up to machines and tubes and whatnot. Ugh. They let me in because I'm a pastor, but no one could tell me anything. The patient tried to talk, which she couldn't do, and therefore she starts to turn all red in the face, and then pukes up this gross, gross stuff. I guess that was "hello." I ran and got the nurse; who then called in some others. Finally I was able to go back in. Eventually a family member showed up and explained the situation. Not good. I stayed for awhile, then got supper for Jane and I, but went back up later.
The death of one of your congregants is one of the hardest parts of being a pastor. You can't get too emotionally involved, because you're supposed to "pastor" those who are grieving. But at the same time it's hard to NOT be emotionally involved. At least for me. I really blew it when a good friend died several years ago. I grieved just like everyone else (or maybe worse - he was one of my best friends), and there was therefore no one to help the people in our church. We have yet to recover. I have yet to recover.
I wish I were Sicilian.
6 comments:
The quote is from "The Princess Bride", of course! :-) One of the best quotable movies, ever.
I know I am just Joe Random Layperson and all, and I know you as a pastor are supposed to remain calm and pastoral and all during such times, but at least re. your friend's death - he was one of your best friends! If you didn't grieve as a best friend for him, who would?
Your job doesn't release your from being human. And personally, I think God wants you to be human first, and a pastor second. You're not perfect and have no right to expect yourself to be, so let go of the "shoulda coulda woulda" and just be at peace with what happened. Your friend died. You grieved for him. That is how it should be.
My two cents,
Jim
Yeah, I agree with Jim. I don't think your response at the time has anything to do with a slow recovery. My guess (knowing who you are talking about) is that no one really understood how much they depended on him over the years. That usually leaves a mighty big hole.
As for your PB movie, I just want to say that I know Rous' do exist. I encountered one the other day when I tried to check on why my DSL isn't working right. Of course that's not a very nice thing to say.
"We are men of action... lies do not become us."
Same movie as that.
As for the rest of it, Tom Johnson's RIGHT about Jim Johnson's bein' right. (Blazing Saddles paraphrase).
The blog comment editor says at the bottom:
Choose an identity:
( ) MR
( ) Other
( ) Anonymous
( ) Phyllis Diller
...that's peculiar.
Jim,
Thanks for the feedback. And I agree... The Princess Bride IS one of the best quotable movies ever!
Tom,
You're right - I don't think many people understand YET how much we depended on this person (and how much I depended on him).
And... you encountered a rodent while checking your dsl???
MR,
Or should I say "Phyllis"...
Yeah - and Blazing Saddles is another great movie full of quotables. "'Scuse me while I whip this out!"
Post a Comment