You may have noticed I removed my apology from yesterday. Perhaps it was my uncertainty/uneasiness with the question in the first place; or maybe it's a seeming inability to even be able to apologize well on my part. I've been thinking about apologies a lot lately. I owe many to many. I'm trying to figure out how to go about it correctly, and maybe the truth is, there isn't supposed to be a correct way. I dunno.
Maybe it has something to do with my personality. One of the descriptions for an INTJ is: "...observer, values solitude, perfectionist, detached, private, hard to impress, analytical, likes esoteric things..." Hmm. I can see that. Stuff like that makes me wonder what the heck I'm good for sometimes. Though I know there are some things I am good for, it still makes me wonder.
Last night I was thinking about a guy I used to work with. I had known him before I worked with him. He was a big guy with long hair, and I never saw him in anything other than a black t-shirt, blue jeans, and boots. He rode a Harley when he had a driver's license. Almost everybody thought he was a jerk, but he was always nice to me for some reason. He was very ADD-like, but it seemed every now and then he would look at me, and it was always this look like... "can't you help me?" But I never really knew what to say to him. I remember one time when he had to go to jail for awhile (I don't remember what for - there were several times), I gave him some pamphlets and articles and easy-to-read books about God and Jesus and stuff. When he got out and came back to work, I can remember-like-yesterday him walking up and leaning beside me on my machine saying, "I read that stuff you gave me." But for the life of me I can't remember what I said to him. I always felt bad about that. Not sure why. I just didn't know what to say. And now, when we drive back to our old hometown we usually drive by his house. He's married to like his fourth or fifth wife now. I don't think he has a job anymore. And every time we go by his house I want to slump down, because I feel like he's looking at me with that "can't-you-help-me" look. I don't know. It's hard to explain, but that's what I was thinking about when I went to bed last night, and what I was thinking about when I got up this morning. I hope he's okay. For someone who's life seemed to always be messed up, for some reason I had a certain admiration for him. We never talked much, but... I dunno.
Well, today is the day off. I need to fix the drain in the central air unit. It is in the top of the garage, and the drain line keeps plugging up and then it drips all over everything on my workbench. For some reason there are a million angles in a drain line that should run straight from the unit to the eave outside. Then I should probably mow. Tonight I have a wedding rehearsal. Fun all around.
And for those of you who might not know... congrats are in order for Lance & Brenda Finley on the birth of their first child - John Carter Finley!!! He will be a great kid, I just know it. I think, judging from the email, they must be going to call him Carter. Maybe he'll be a sargeant. :)
g'day all.
3 comments:
There are lots of things people like you are good for: you are detail oriented, you are a realistic thinker, in a good way you can always critique papers, plans, decisions, etc., you make perfectly straight lines when mowing and vacuuming (an annoying habit for me to have picked up cause my carpet leaves lines, big time), you're a problem solver, you don't need a lot of attention to be entertained and i really dont' think you're that hard to impress but maybe that's just because i'm so impressive. Haha, just kidding!
And this guy, i remeber seeing him drive around town i think. Did his name, or what people call him, have a 'Big' in front of it? Anyway, maybe you should write him a letter or pick up and go pay him a visit. You won't rest easy until you do, ya know.
Have fun at the rehersal dinner tonight...and I will see you soon!! Probably with short hair! EEEEKKKK!!!!
Carrie,
Thanks for pointing out all of my good traits (the best of which is probably vacuuming straight lines in the carpet). :)
And, I know who you are thinking of. Big Dave was another friend, but not the one I'm thinking of here. I am thinking of giving this guy a call though.
See ya tomorrow - short hair and all!!!
To add to Carrie's list, you are passionate about the things you believe in, are great at seeing things for what they are, can appreciate things that many people overlook and value simplicity in surroundings. You have also gained the respect and admiration of your family - not the superficial kind, but the real kind. You are also a great thinker and the world needs all of those it can get...
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