- Balaam's donkey speaks (Numbers 22:23-30). In one of the most original biblical miracles ever, Balaam's donkey is given the gift of speech when his master encounters an angel of the Lord on the path. Even weirder, Balaam jumps right in and engages the suddenly literate beast of burden in conversation, without so much as batting an eyelash.
- Samson kills a thousand Philistines with the "jawbone of an ass" (Judges 15:13-17). And while today, Jackie Chan-types can turn pool cues and potted plants into deadly armaments, the donkey-bone-as-weapon trend never really catches on.
- Donkeys praised for their large genitals (Ezekiel 23:20). No, really. And by none other than God himself, in a sexually explicit metaphor condemning Israel's unfaithfulness.
- Jesus makes his triumphal entry on the back of a donkey (Mark 11:1-11). Which cements the humble donkey as one of the earth's holiest creatures. Or, perhaps, not.
Random "everyday" stuff (not to be confused with 'stuff.every.day')... on life, faith, and... survival(?)
Thursday, January 03, 2008
Best biblical moments for donkeys
According to Jason Boyett's Pocket Guide to the Bible, the FOUR BEST MOMENTS FOR DONKEYS are:
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9 comments:
The ass is the holiest?
When Balaam's donkey spoke, he started going on about "parfait." He said "You know what else everybody likes? Parfaits. Have you ever met a person, you say, 'Let's get some parfait,' they say, 'Hell no, I don't like no parfait'? Parfaits are delicious. Parfaits may be the most delicious thing on the whole damn planet." (all too brief pause) "Do you have a tissue or something? I'm making a mess. Just the word parfait makes me start slobbering."
(read:Shrek)
Dan,
I was in China once, chowing down on a great meal. There was this mystery meat that really tasted great. I asked my hosts what it was, to which there was a lengthy conversation in Chinese. My best friend in China then looked at me and said, "We think the word in English is Donkey."
Good stuff...
Eric
Re: the "triumphal entry", I'd say the donkey wasn't the only one with balls on 'im.
Oh dear: I actually hit "post." D'oh! (No offense will be taken if you see fit to delete)
he said "balls." (pointing at W.P.)
Hehehe... Why did I not know this would happen. Geez, I'm gonna lose my "G" rating. And you guys are terrible. :)
Eric,
Welcome aboard; and thanks for adding something worthwhile!
Hello? Where's the moderator for this blog? You've hit the big time, Dan. Now you need full time blog police to keep it clean. ;)
Too funny.
Yes, Joan, it appears I have lost control. I didn't think it would happen until donkey's flew (isn't that what Flo used to say??).
Since we're talking about cleaning this up...
"And while today, Jackie Chan-types can turn pool cues and potted plants into deadly armaments, the ass-face-as-weapon trend never really catches on."
Fixed.
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