Friday, July 22, 2016

3 years

Facebook reminded me this morning of this tragic little tale I posted on this date 3 years ago:
I don't want anyone to wonder - in case I put any odd cryptic messages on here - but apparently I only thought I was on a sabbatical. I was asked to not return to my church last week. Jane and I are still in a bit of shock, but I am honestly a little amazed they put up with me for 14 years. I may not always say what people want to hear, but I would like to think you know that I am always going to be honest with you. Regardless of what you may have heard please know that this was not my choice and we would be happy to hear from any of our friends. If you are a praying kind of person I would appreciate them for my family, and for our former church family as well.

Not exactly how I wanted to start my day. Thanks, Facebook. Anyway, I can't really believe it's been 3 years. What's worse is, I can't believe the people responsible have still refused to ever meet with us or talk to us in 3 years. I'm also fairly disappointed that no one, not one time, has ever even mentioned the possibility for reconciliation of any kind.

As I've probably said many times, the worst thing wasn't being asked to leave, it was the way it was done. It was the rejection, degradation, alienation, and abandonment. I wish I could say I was over it, but never having had the chance to put any kind of closure on the situation, I just don't see how it can ever really be put to rest - at least in my mind.

I guess I didn't realize just how naive I was. I always thought my church was different; my friends were different; I thought *I* was different. But we are all the same. None of us any better or any worse than anyone else. All of us capable of good, and evil, and at any time.

I don't know if someone wanted revenge against me for something, or if they wanted to see me 'put in my place,' or to simply see me take a fall, but I hope they are happy. They got what they wanted. If they thought I was unfit for church leadership then, I certainly am now.

Perhaps the hardest thing right now is the feeling that maybe we really DON'T fit anywhere. I have not lost faith in God, or even in the church, but I seriously wonder if there is a place for us in it. I don't know. It's been 3 years and we're still wandering in the desert.

Well, again, not really how I wanted to start my day. This didn't bother me as much when I first saw it, and I'm hoping that writing this out will get it out of my system. At least I've got other things to occupy my mind and my time today.