I started this post earlier in the week, which seems so long ago. I think it's good to post these sorts of thngs anyway - whether they still hold true or not. Many people question the cliche "It is what it is." Well, this is sort of what that means. To me. So...
No, I did not participate in a 'diet run,' but I am done with the New Lifestyle diet. I stopped last weekend. I was feeling run down and just wasn't into it. I don't think I eat all that bad as it is. So I am done. I will still have some of the pudding/shakes for snacks maybe, but it's back to salads, fruits, veggies, nuts, eggs and meat for me.
I am also contemplating giving up on running. I know. I have yet to run outside this year, and I haven't even been on the treadmill in over a week - maybe longer. There are a number of reasons, but it mostly boils down to... I'm just not into it anymore.
I think when I loved running it was because it was something *I* did - by myself. That was kind of my hobby. I didn't have to think about when or where or who with or how much time it would take or anything. Plus it was a time for me to lose myself or, meditate, if you will. I think I started thinking too much and lost focus. And... I'm just tired. Work is wearing me out. I had one of my busiest months ever last month - in addition to all the kiosk crap! Maybe I'm lazy, but I simply don't want to be working this hard anymore. At least not at what I'm presently doing. I'm also starting to feel mentally drained again. That kind of scares me. How can I be burned out again? I don't know.
I upped my Zoloft/Sertraline dosage this week thinking maybe it was that. Sometimes it's easy to tell when I need to adjust it and sometimes it's not. Sometimes I don't think it matters all that much.
So, that's about all there is to say about that. I may still run, or I may not. I will likely still try to eat healthy, but I can't make any promises. I guess maybe I'm lowering my own expectations for myself. Sometimes I forget to be kind to me.
And... today... I need to mow the lawn. The grandkids will be here for the day and overnight. It's a nice sunny day and I don't have to work - at work. I feel pretty relaxed. Now.