Just a little numb

Ugh. I've been having trouble with people lately. Life a little bit too.

I could probably stop there.

Make no mistake, I'm not depressed or trying to hide anything, but I've just been "in a mood" for awhile now. Then the other day I had some jerkstore idiot harassing me on a Facebook post, and I was already sick of Facebook and fake people and self-righteous spectators and... so I decided I was getting off the social media for awhile. I was sick of people (probably not you). Yesterday morning came the news of the largest modern-day mass shooting in the US - you know, because every nut ought to be able to have an automatic weapon in this God-forsaken uber-patriot-fucking land. So when I heard the news that Tom Petty had a heart attack and was basically brain dead... and possibly dead dead... I just wept. Crap!

What is wrong with people!? Huh!? Somebody tell me!!!

I know... it's just how it is. These things happen. We live in a fallen world. Yeah, I know. As a friend on Facebook lamented about Petty though, "This seems like family."

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I realize not everyone is a Tom Petty fan, and that's okay. However, as for me, I was actually just remembering to Jane the other day that THE album I most identify with - from my youth to forever - is Damn the Torpedoes. I/we had the album and the 8-track tape. The above picture from the cover of the inside sleeve is the only music picture I remember having thumb-tacked to my bedroom wall when I lived with my parents (replacing all the Dallas Cowboys pictures of my early years). I loved that picture; I loved that album; I still love that album... and many more. To this day, when I listen to Sirius Xm in the car, it is turned to the Tom Petty station.

I really have no desire to even attempt waxing poetic about this. I'm just a little numb. Yes, there are things to do, and I will most likely do them, but... meh... whatever.

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I suppose part of my problem is the mere fact of aging. Part of it is struggling to fit into a new job, scene and situation. I don't like being the "new guy," and really, no one cares (and they shouldn't). Not only am I now working at a different place, but I miss parts of the old, and I/we are also being somewhat thrust into some new stuff at church/music hall. It's a lot of flux for this capacitor. Life isn't exactly a bowl of cherries at the moment. People to talk to are at a minimum.

Tom was 66. Whether he's really dead or only mostly dead is beside the point, I guess (though reports today have confirmed that he is, in fact, fully dead).

“Are you tired? Worn out? Burned out on religion? Come to me. Get away with me and you’ll recover your life. I’ll show you how to take a real rest. Walk with me and work with me—watch how I do it. Learn the unforced rhythms of grace. I won’t lay anything heavy or ill-fitting on you. Keep company with me and you’ll learn to live freely and lightly.” (Mt. 11:28-30 Message)

Yeah... sign me up.