Thursday, December 07, 2017

God wears no pants

I’ve been going to write a post with this title for some time now. I barely recall what it was about at this point. Something about not feeling the need to defend God because God rarely-if-ever feels the need to defend himself/herself. Certainly there are those who would take exception, but that’s my opinion. I believe God has shown great patience and – not even tolerance, but – love for humankind time after time after time.

Anyway, I’ve been too busy to think much about it lately since scribbling those four words on a piece of paper on our desk looking out onto our driveway to the west. So, whatever.

This month of December has been kinda/sorta busy for me. I wish I could say it was busy in a good way – as in making lots of money or doing kind acts or spreading x-mas cheer or some such thing – but I really can’t say it’s been any of those things.

WORK
I have been working more (but I really don’t make much money). Aside from my usual 12 hours at the Y, I’ve been scheduled to cover two other people’s shifts for most of the month of December, and then I agreed to help out at another branch to cover some shifts there as well. So each day I have to check and re-check my calendar to see just where I’m supposed to be and when. This is different for me.

There are also the usual shows to work at the church concert hall. They seem to come in waves, and wouldn’t normally be a problem but for the extra hours at the Y. Nothing that’s not do-able though.

I’m also still taxiing folks for Uber, which I haven’t done much of lately but still do when I can. It’s harder for me to get into when I can’t wrap my mind around it, but that’s something I probably need to work on anyway.

BEING
Actually, it’s something I’ve been thinking about these last few days… Living in the moment. My life has always been fairly ordered (some might say VERY ordered). It is not that way right now…. But I’m not sure it’s a bad thing. Sure, there are moments of freaking, but I do believe it is helping me to simply “be.” None of my jobs or responsibilities require me to give them much thought aside from when I’m doing them, so I can therefore be more fully aware in whatever moment I happen to be. I think this is a good thing.

READING
I am currently reading two books: One is ‘The Power ofListening: Building Skills for Mission and Ministry,’ by Lynne M. Baab. I’ve been reading through this slowly for about a month now. It’s one of the books I/we received as participants in the ‘Engaging Young Adults’ grant our church received. I really, really like it, and if things were how they used to be I would be blogging each chapter as I read. It’s great stuff not only for ministry, but for coaching, driving, and my job at the Y as well. It’s also just a really good book for me as a human being. Someday I hope to share some insights on here from it.

The other book I’m currently reading is ‘X,’ by Chuck Klosterman. The back cover says it’s “A highly specific, defiantly incomplete history of the early 21st Century.” Son Isaac gave this to me for my most recent birthday, when we were in Atlanta. He wrote inside the front cover that Klosterman’s writing reminded him of mine (I took that as a compliment). He also wrote that he was proud that I “always have the courage to be honest, even when it makes things hard.” There was some more too, and it really made my year. I was very humbled. So, I’ve been reading ‘X’ in shorts here and there with much interest. I do like it – the writing style as well as the content. 

WATCHING
There was nothing on TV last night, so Jane and I checked Amazon Prime movies. We watched a short flick about these guys who worked this parking lot in some city. I’m not even sure when or where it was, but it was a quirky interesting show. They were all deep thinkers of advanced education, doing a job that utilized the narrow reaches of their mind that lends little to society as most of the world knows it (or, lowly jobs). I felt a connection, but I’m not sure how it makes me feel. If I were to think more about it I suppose I would feel shame at being this age and still working this kind of job. Which is probably why it’s good for me to not think too deeply anymore; or at least right now.

PANTS, PANTS, PANTS
So, to wrap up this longer-than-it-should-be post, which is making me somewhat tired (get it: panting…), I guess it’s life as I’m coming to know it as a 55-year-old in this Trumped-up space in time. I’m working multiple jobs, mostly what would be deemed very “menial” in nature, not making much money, but not entirely bored with the situation. Although, I recognize boredom could be lurking ready to pounce at any moment. Which is why I should either always be wearing my pants, or just forget pants altogether. You know, just… “be.” Naked, vulnerable, in the moment.

Meh, it’s a snowy Wednesday. The first snow I have seen this year. I’m typing this at the Skyline front desk while two guys work out on weights making periodic grunting noises. Emily is in the bicycle shop across from me watching movies on her computer. I think I will read.

Peace out; and in.

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