Anyway, I’ve been too busy to think much about it lately
since scribbling those four words on a piece of paper on our desk looking out
onto our driveway to the west. So, whatever.
This month of December has been kinda/sorta busy for me. I
wish I could say it was busy in a good way – as in making lots of money or
doing kind acts or spreading x-mas cheer or some such thing – but I really can’t
say it’s been any of those things.
WORK
I have been working more (but I really don’t make much
money). Aside from my usual 12 hours at the Y, I’ve been scheduled to cover two
other people’s shifts for most of the month of December, and then I agreed to
help out at another branch to cover some shifts there as well. So each day I
have to check and re-check my calendar to see just where I’m supposed to be and
when. This is different for me.
There are also the usual shows to work at the church concert
hall. They seem to come in waves, and wouldn’t normally be a problem but for
the extra hours at the Y. Nothing that’s not do-able though.
I’m also still taxiing folks for Uber, which I haven’t done much of lately but still do when I can. It’s harder for me to get into when I can’t wrap my mind around it, but that’s something I probably need to work on anyway.
BEING
Actually, it’s something I’ve been thinking about these last
few days… Living in the moment. My life has always been fairly ordered (some
might say VERY ordered). It is not that way right now…. But I’m not sure it’s a
bad thing. Sure, there are moments of freaking, but I do believe it is helping me
to simply “be.” None of my jobs or responsibilities require me to give
them much thought aside from when I’m doing them, so I can therefore be more
fully aware in whatever moment I happen to be. I think this is a good thing.
READING
I am currently reading two books: One is ‘The Power ofListening: Building Skills for Mission and Ministry,’ by Lynne M. Baab. I’ve
been reading through this slowly for about a month now. It’s one of the books
I/we received as participants in the ‘Engaging Young Adults’ grant our church received.
I really, really like it, and if things were how they used to be I would be
blogging each chapter as I read. It’s great stuff not only for ministry, but
for coaching, driving, and my job at the Y as well. It’s also just a really
good book for me as a human being. Someday I hope to share some insights on
here from it.
The other book I’m currently reading is ‘X,’ by Chuck
Klosterman. The back cover says it’s “A highly specific, defiantly incomplete
history of the early 21st Century.” Son Isaac gave this to me for my
most recent birthday, when we were in Atlanta. He wrote inside the front cover
that Klosterman’s writing reminded him of mine (I took that as a compliment).
He also wrote that he was proud that I “always have the courage to be honest,
even when it makes things hard.” There was some more too, and it really made my
year. I was very humbled. So, I’ve been reading ‘X’ in shorts here and there
with much interest. I do like it – the writing style as well as the content.
WATCHING
There was nothing on TV last night, so Jane and I checked
Amazon Prime movies. We watched a short flick about these guys who worked this
parking lot in some city. I’m not even sure when or where it was, but it was a
quirky interesting show. They were all deep thinkers of advanced education,
doing a job that utilized the narrow reaches of their mind that lends little to
society as most of the world knows it (or, lowly jobs). I felt a connection,
but I’m not sure how it makes me feel. If I were to think more about it I
suppose I would feel shame at being this age and still working this kind of
job. Which is probably why it’s good for me to not think too deeply anymore; or
at least right now.
PANTS, PANTS, PANTS
So, to wrap up this longer-than-it-should-be post, which is
making me somewhat tired (get it: panting…), I guess it’s life as I’m coming to
know it as a 55-year-old in this Trumped-up space in time. I’m working multiple
jobs, mostly what would be deemed very “menial” in nature, not making much
money, but not entirely bored with the situation. Although, I recognize boredom
could be lurking ready to pounce at any moment. Which is why I should either always
be wearing my pants, or just forget pants altogether. You know, just… “be.”
Naked, vulnerable, in the moment.
Meh, it’s a snowy Wednesday. The first snow I have seen this
year. I’m typing this at the Skyline front desk while two guys work out on
weights making periodic grunting noises. Emily is in the bicycle shop across
from me watching movies on her computer. I think I will read.
Peace out; and in.
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