People are human

What do we do with good people when they do bad things?

Maybe you've heard the latest scuttlebutt regarding mega-church pastor Bill Hybels of Willow Creek Community Church being accused of sexual misconduct. I just read about it today for the first time. There is an article in Relevant, Christianity Today, and the Chicago Tribune (plus a boatload of others, I'm sure). I read through them... and I'm just sad.

First off, I have no stake in this claim, and I'm in no position to be holding anyone accountable for anything. Yet, Willow Creek and Hybels were a fairly influential part of my growth as a follower of Jesus (as were the Orberg's and Nancy Beach) - be it from the times I attended worship gatherings there, leadership functions, books they've written, or that time Bill said 'hi' to me in the back hallway.  Anyway, here are some things I'm thinking...

Do I think Bill Hybels has done some unethical, immoral, and inappropriate things in his 42 years of leading Willow Creek Church? Probably. Who wouldn't? That's a long time, and he's human. That doesn't mean I think he's a terrible person, nor that I condone inappropriate behavior, but I'm not naive enough (anymore) to not think that sometimes even the best of people can occasionally do bad things. I would like to hope Bill is being honest in his denials - and who's to say he's not - but, you know, things happen. People are prone to poor judgment from time to time; mistakes can be made, and I'm sure the difficulty is compounded for people in such high and public positions.

At the same time, the people making the accusations are no less human than Bill. It's not like misunderstandings don't happen, and people hold grudges and get misled through no fault of their own even. None of that makes them "bad" people either. None of us will probably ever really know the full extent of the truth here. It seems the sort of sordid ugly affair people have been dealing with since... uh.... biblical times.

So what do we do in situations like this? I do not know. I suppose I've done my share of accusing over the years, and have had not just a few accusers as well. Some were right, some were wrong.

One thing that always sort of 'amused' me during my little dance in the world of church leadership (however small the stage) were the people who claimed I let them down; that I'd disappointed them. I do realize that people in positions of spiritual leadership (or authority in general) carry greater responsibility and can, therefore, be more highly scrutinized and held accountable. I'm all for accountability. Yet at the same time, I always tried to make it clear that I was nothing more than human. It wasn't that long ago someone told me how "disappointed" they were in me. My first instinct was, "Well, fuck you! Who are you to put those kinds of expectations on me?" Of course, that's not a very nice way to respond, and fortunately, I did not. But fault is sometimes a funny thing, isn't it? So are the unreal expectations we can sometimes hold other people to.

Honestly, I did have a number of years where I think I lived better than others - i.e. made better choices, decisions, and was of nobler character - but even then I was still far from perfect. I'd guess we all have our share of ups and downs in life; seasons of good or bad, if you will. The last five years have not exactly been my best season, but I don't think that means I've become a "bad" person. I've struggled for sure, but I'm still trying.

All that said, I guess that's why things like the Hybels thing just break my heart. I really have no clue who is at fault. It might be everybody, it might be nobody. I believe there are good and sincere people on both sides of the issue. I just hate to see things like this happen. I know they will, but it's sad nonetheless. I believe we all struggle at times, but it doesn't make us any less "good" or any more "bad." At least I hope.

In thinking about all this, it has made me recognize that of all the things I've regretted over the years - the poor decisions, indiscretions, inappropriate behavior - what I regret the most are those times I've failed to extend grace to others. Receiving grace is a powerful thing. Extending it should be such a no-brainer in the church. But that too is difficult to do.

People are human. We need grace. And mercy, love, forgiveness... and Jesus. We need Jesus most of all.

God, help us.