Dad's funeral

I haven't really known what to say since dad passed away. It's not that I'm overly distraught with grief or anything... he was old, his quality of life had not been great for years, the dementia took a lot out of him some time ago, so this was not unexpected. I think the worst is dying from covid. In the hospital for a week and my mom not being able to see him may or may not have been best for all concerned, but the isolation and aloneness seems kind of sad nonetheless.

Anyway, he passed away one week ago today. My mom, sister, wife, and nephew went to the funeral home the next day to make arrangements. Jane and I went with my mom, sister, Drew and Caleb for a private viewing on Friday (I didn't think he looked particularly good). The burial was Saturday.

All the immediate family were able to make it to my moms (other than Isaac's wife, who wanted to be there). Whether it was right or not for all twelve of us to be in the same house, I do not know. We certainly wrestled with it. Jane, Isaac and myself were at least able to sleep at the home of some friends who have already had covid (K & T). Fortunately the weather was pretty good for late November and we were able to be outside a lot. We did the best we could.

The service was a private graveside ceremony in my dad's hometown. It is two hours from where my parents have lived the last 60 years of their lives, but they have had a burial spot ready for years next to my grandparents. Dad had pre-planned his funeral, and while they couldn't adhere to all his wishes due to the times, they were at least able to have military rights (though it was not easy finding enough Legion members to pull it off).

It was a nice service at 1 pm on a warm-ish cloudy Saturday (maybe 45f). My uncle Morris, who is a lay speaker in the Methodist church, presided. He was plenty nervous, this being his first time, but he did an admirable job. There were maybe 50 people present. Almost everyone was family, and people mostly wore masks - even though there was waaaaaaay too much hugging going on. I tried to not let it get to me.

The service consisted of: Military rights (21 gun salute, taps, folding the flag), Uncle Morris spoke, nephew Kyle spoke on behalf of the grandkids, several other people shared memories which we all laughed about, and Drew led us in singing a couple verses of 'Amazing Grace.' It lasted about 30 minutes, and was actually quite nice. They did the military part first instead of last because a couple of their members had another service later on.

I actually didn't mind having a smaller service. For years I have dreaded how many people would likely show up at a visitation for dad. He knew so many people, and the awkwardness of having to listen to and shake hands for hours on end was near-mortifying. I thought this was more than adequate.

Anyway, everyone in my family returned to their homes on Sunday. My sister and her boys were able to stay a few more days with my mom. Jane was the trooper who was there for 11 days taking care of things that needed done.

Here is the obituary:

Merle Robert Horwedel, 88, of Buda, died on Wednesday, Nov. 18, 2020.

Mr. Horwedel was born on October 28, 1932 in Vermont, IL to Bernard and Leona (Aten) Horwedel. He attended college at Western Illinois University in Macomb, then served in the Army during the Korean War from 1952-1954. He completed his studies at the University of Illinois in Champaign. Upon graduation he began his career in education as Ag teacher at Buda High School. Four years later he became the first principal at Western High School in the Buda/Sheffield consolidated district and was a fixture there for many years, also serving as golf coach, assistant football coach, bus driver, and assistant superintendent before retiring in 1990.  

Merle married Ruth Ann Powell on August 11, 1957 in Rushville, IL. She survives along with their two children, Deb Horwedel McCreight of Annandale, MN, and Dan (Jane) Horwedel of Fort Wayne, IN. He is also survived by four grandchildren, Kyle and Kevin McCreight, Carrie (Drew) Feipel, and Isaac (Ricci) Horwedel, and three great-grandchildren, Anna, Bennett & Caleb Feipel.

He was preceded in death by his parents, brother, Harold, and twin sister, Mary Edith.

Merle loved children, animals, the outdoors, and volunteering in his community. He also had many hobbies. He wrestled in college, played fast-pitch softball way too long, was an avid golfer and hunter, and trained dogs and horses. He was a charter member of the Buda Rescue Unit and Buda Jaycees, served on the fire department and American Legion in Buda, coached and umpired ball teams, taught first aid classes, hunter safety courses, and worked to support wildlife. He was a member of the Buda United Methodist Church until it closed and then Bunker Hill Church in Buda.

He had an influence on many people during his life, and always had a smile and a bit of wisdom to share. He believed in family, community, and helping out wherever and however he could. Merle will be missed, but he lived life well and full.

Due to precautions regarding the coronavirus pandemic, private funeral services will be held with military rights in Vermont, IL, with his brother-in-law Morris McClelland officiating.

Memorials or donations may be made to Bunker Hill Church or the Buda American Legion. Online condolences may be sent to www.grant-johnsonfh.com.

***

(Matthew 6:9-13)

Our Father, who art in heaven,
hallowed be thy name;
thy kingdom come;
thy will be done;
on earth as it is in heaven.
Give us this day our daily bread.
And forgive us our trespasses,
as we forgive those who trespass against us.
And lead us not into temptation;
but deliver us from evil.
For thine is the kingdom,
the power and the glory,
for ever and ever.
Amen.