Follow-up

I threw myself a pity party this morning. Sorry about that.

Honestly, I feel bad about it now. But it's also true that I'm angry, offended, scared, and a host of other emotions.

I thought about taking the previous post down or editing it, but I'm going to leave it. It was real. Yet, it was also very reactionary. 

In the Mindfulness-Based Stress Reduction Program I'm working through it says we need to practice 'acceptance.' They say:

"The process of acceptance begins with the willingness to see things exactly as they are... Acceptance does not mean you have to like everything or take a passive attitude. It does not mean you have to be satisfied with things as they are, or that you have to stop trying to change things for the better. Rather acceptance simply means willingness to see things as they are, deeply, truthfully, and completely. This attitude sets the stage for acting in the moment in the most potent and healthy way, no matter what is happening. You are more likely to know what to do when you have a clear picture of what is actually happening than when your vision is clouded by your mind's self-serving judgments and desires or its fears and prejudices."

Btw, the '7 Essential Attitudes of Mindfulness Practice' are: Non-Judging, Patience, Beginner's Mind, Trust, Non-Striving, Acceptance, and Letting Go.

So, that all happened. I can't deny it or change it. I have accepted it. I am also still angry, sad, and scared, and I'm simply going to sit with those emotions for awhile. Acknowledge them, but hopefully not let them dictate how I react. As much.

***

Psalm 51:1-2;10-12

Have mercy on me, O God,
    according to your unfailing love;
according to your great compassion
    blot out my transgressions.
Wash away all my iniquity
    and cleanse me from my sin.

Create in me a pure heart, O God,
    and renew a steadfast spirit within me.
Do not cast me from your presence
    or take your Holy Spirit from me.
Restore to me the joy of your salvation
    and grant me a willing spirit, to sustain me.