Sick day/jane's xmas party

I was sick Sunday night into Monday. Not sure what it was but I'm glad it's over.

I had to call in sick to work for only the second time in the 5 years I've been there too (I think). It was not a fun night..

When I went to bed that night I kind of had a stomach ache. I also felt a bit bloated. I figured I could just sleep it off and would feel fine in the morning. Around 10 or 11 I finally got up because the pain was getting worse. Eventually I started hurling. It was all liquid, and appeared to be from the two glasses of wine I'd had. I spent the rest of the night between the living room and the bathroom, finally getting the waste basket from the bathroom and just staying in the living room. One minute I was literally dripping with sweat and the next I'd be shivering. The poor cat tried to console me as best she could. 

Of course calling my boss turned into quite the fiasco in itself. I don't really want to have to do that again either. Yeesh.

I must have nodded off now and then. I woke up at 3:45 and though I felt like I'd been run over by a truck I at least didn't feel like puking. So, I thought I did the right thing and called my supervisor (I'd even just asked about this a couple weeks prior). I apologized and said I was sick and couldn't make it to work. He literally responded, "Well, I'm sorry about that but I don't have any keys." There was silence. Rather than just hang up (which I briefly pondered), I was like, "Well, do you want me to call YOUR supervisor, or could you maybe come and get my keys?" And get this... Next he says, "Well, I don't really want to work 12 hours today." !!! Finally he says he needs to think about it and he'll call me back. WTF!

I mean, it was all I could do to even talk on the phone. There was no way I could drive a car. Finally he called back and said he would come and get my keys. And why in the world does the boss not have keys anyway!?! In fact, I know where an entire box of them used to be in his desk. Hopefully he hasn't thrown them away because he didn't know what they were for (which is what he does).

And like that wasn't enough. When I finally woke up around 9am I had an email that went out to everyone that works there. He very passive-aggressively threw me under the bus because I was sick and he had to get up early and how hard it was for him to find people to cover my shifts when I take holiday and personal time off and how it really ruined his day and it was making him wonder if he should even work there. Then he thanked all the people that work 3-4 hours a week, but had no thanks for me who is otherwise there at 4:45 every damn morning of the week the rest of the year!

Yeah, it was not a fun night, or next day. I need to talk to him about it, but I'm still too pissed off to be able to do it with any semblance of a level head.

Of course, to top things off, Monday was also when Jane's Christmas party was - which is the closest thing to a work Christmas party as I get. Even though I was feeling better by then, I didn't figure I should go. I'm sure I wasn't missed anyway.

Fortunately I had already taken one of my remaining personal days for Tuesday. So I pretty much laid around the house and took it easy. I went back to work yesterday and, even though I got a bit tired, I think I'm pretty much good to go now. 

I'm still not sure if it was something I ate, or some kind of 24-hour bug, but I'm glad it was then and not this coming Sunday. I'm also glad today is my last day of work for the rest of the year! I think I've come to hate working there now more than ever before. Although it's actually reached the point where I don't even care anymore. So, at least after today I won't have to think about it for awhile.

Meh... happy Thursday.

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[ADDED LATER] -- I crossed out some of this because... it's not how I want to be. I feel like I've been making ever-so-small strides in the way of humility and compassion... but sometimes I still boil over and get stupid. My supervisor is a young guy and I know he's overwhelmed easily right now. I WANT to be the type of person who understands and can graciously help him learn from and work through things like this. Or at least be able to accept it and not make things worse. That said, though, I did not delete it because it's how I "felt" at the time, and it's also possible I may need a record of it at some point. There were some possible HIPAA concerns, as well as other compliance issues regarding shaming and intimidation that are not cool. If they were to happen again or to someone else I feel there needs to be a record. And, let's face it, no one reads here anyway (except maybe you), so this is as good a place as any to stash something. Sorry for the rant earlier. Here's to a better tomorrow...

[ADDED EVEN LATER] -- I actually broke down and talked to my supervisor. It was tough, and I was nervous as a cat, but it ended up going really well. I think both of us benefited and I hope it will reap great rewards in the future (as so many of these hard things do).