Say there is a basketball team that relies heavily on its point guard. The point guard brings the ball up the court, calls the plays, sets up the offense, calls the defense, etc. And in this particular game he is really working hard, but is just going through one of those “phases.” You know, he’s tired, a little banged up, he’s lost his confidence. He doesn’t necessarily want out of the game, but he just needs some… help.
Not wanting to appear a loser, but knowing it is for the good of the team, he finally swallows his pride and lays it on the line to his teammates. He confesses that he’s just not “on” right now, and wonders if they can help pick up some of the slack – help bring the ball up court, assist in setting up the plays, help him cover his defensive assignment. The point guard was a little worried how his teammates might take this, wondering if they would want to replace him instead. But they took it well. In fact, they almost seemed excited. So this, in turn, made the point guard feel a little better.
But when they get back in the game… they take the ball out of bounds and throw it RIGHT TO THE POINT GUARD. He tries to give it to one of his teammates, but they tell him to keep the ball. So he hesitantly dribbles upcourt, hoping one of them will set up the play… but they all stand and wait for him to do it. The point guard eventually dribbles the ball off his foot, and on the way to the other end of the court he asks his teammates with a bit of exasperation, “I thought you were going to help?!?” One after another they assured him, “We are helping. We’re really ROOTING for you. We’re HERE for you. And since we’re all Christians, we’re even PRAYING for you!”
That, my friends, is how I feel. I thought I had made myself so perfectly clear… but either I am missing something, or my ‘teammates’ don’t understand what I’m saying. I have pastored this church for seven years now. I like living here. And this church is full of great people. But no one wants to ‘handle the ball.’ Honestly, my fear is, I believe most people just expect that when a small-church pastor begins to feel like this, then they think it’s time for a new pastor. How’s that for community? How’s that for the ‘priesthood of all believers’?
Mike Yaconelli shared this story in his book "Messy Spirituality" (p.94-95):
Years ago I heard an extraordinary story. I hope it’s true. The pastor of a church in England announced to his congregation one Sunday that he was resigning because he no longer believed in Christianity. Stunned at first, the congregation gathered its composure, and the elders asked the pastor to meet with the congregation after the service. Everyone knew what was going to happen. His resignation would be accepted, financial arrangements would be made, and the search for a new pastor would begin.
But that’s not what happened. The elders stood before the pastor and said, “Sir, we understand you have come to the painful conclusion that Christianity is not true. We believe it IS true. In fact, we’re so convinced it is true, we want you to stay on as our pastor. We want you to stand up each Sunday and preach your doubts to us. It’s okay. We want to hear them, not so we can argue with you but so this can be a place where you can honestly seek the truth.”
For three years, the pastor preached his doubts, and one morning he stood in the pulpit, looked out at the congregation with his eyes full of tears, and said, “I have found my faith again. Thank you for trusting the gospel; thank you for waiting for me to find my faith again!”
This pastor was stuck, burned out, lost, sinking in the quicksand of doubt, and his church recognized his stuckness! His congregation recognized that being stuck was a necessary stopping place where he could regroup, regain his strength, and move on. An extraordinary congregation of ordinary people understood their pastor’s need to wrestle with the truth. Instead of talking about truth, they TRUSTED the truth. They did not fear the waiting, nor did they fret over the “setbacks” they would have to endure when visitors came.
When the doubting pastor finally proclaimed his found-again faith, deep in his heart he must have whispered to God in gratitude, “Jesus has been hiding in these people all along.”
That’s a nice “story”, isn’t it. I hope it’s true.
I wouldn’t say I am at the same place as that pastor. But it’s one thing for people who don’t do this for a living to say, “Oh, don’t worry about it so much. We’re ‘here for you.’” Yeah right… until they decide it’s time for you to be somewhere else!
I don't know. As I re-read this, it doesn't really even make sense to me. I'm not tired of preaching, or even pastoring so much. It's more the being responsible for everything. All the details and stuff. And, yes, I know it's my fault that it's that way (that's what Maxwell would say, right?). Whatever. I don’t want anyone’s pity. I guess maybe I’m just hoping that by writing this out I might stumble onto something. It's just more of my whining and complaining. Carry on.
