Comments are back, but...

I am once again accepting comments on my posts. Just in case you noticed that I hadn't been for a few days (other than the posts where I forgot to turn them off). Not that you have to comment.... but you can now if you want.

I'm not sure I will be responding to each and every comment anymore though. I have always tried to at least acknowledge most comments people make, because I appreciate that anyone would think to leave a comment. and I might still. but if I don't, please don't take it personally. I'm trying to create a little "space" between me and the blog. Not that it's not still important to me, but it is NOT my real life. I have tried to be mindful of others and update it regularly, but I've also tried to limit the number of posts so as not to overwhelm anyone. Now... it's just going to come however. People can read it or not read it. As I've said earlier, I have made a lot of friends on here, and you are all important to me. So that's why I am rambling this little ramble right now.

Gotta do the treadmill now though.

Peace out; and in.

Beard - week 2

Here is a pic of the beard after 2 weeks. Yes, it's looking a bit scraggly. Son Isaac took my trimmer just before I decided to grow it. I bought a new one yesterday though. I need to trim it up in a few spots, but I am going to try to get some length out of this beard. I doubt that I will make it to ZZ Top land, but I'm gonna try. I have shaved the lower part of my neck a few times. That just gets too itchy.

Speaking of ZZ Top, I was just pondering whether or not to go see Nine Inch Nails when they come to town in a couple weeks. Never seen them, but it sounds like fun. We'll see.

Speaking of seeing... I love the view out that window behind me in this pic. It's a great time of year to live in the Midwest.

For comparison's sake, you can see 'Beard - week 1' HERE.

Turn your clocks back

Just in case you've forgotten - or for some odd reason get your news here - don't forget to TURN YOUR CLOCKS BACK ONE HOUR this Saturday night/Sunday morning (Nov. 1/2). Daylight Saving Time officially ends at 2 am Sunday morning, so we get to sleep an extra hour. That way everyone should be up and ready for a worship service somewhere bright and early Sunday morning. If you don't know of one, I can help you out with that (if you don't mind coming to the outskirts of Fort Wayne, Indiana).

Here's what to do: The easiest thing to do is... before going to bed on Saturday night, turn all your clocks back one hour. If it is 11 pm, set them for 10 pm. Then go to bed, and when you wake up in the morning all will be right with the world (and it will be Standard Time again). If church is at 10 am, then it will still be at 10 am - because the church clocks will be reset too.

I believe most cell phones reset automatically, though some may still need to be turned off and back on again.

If you have any questions, ask someone with a name tag.

Picking a book

I'm trying to decide what to read next. I thought I might opt for an old book from my seminary days that I've already read, like:

• In the Name of Jesus, by Henri Nouwen
• Liberating Ministry From the Success Syndrome, by Kent & Barbara Hughes
• Invitation To A Journey: A Road Map for Spiritual Formation, by Robert Mulholland
• Celebration of Discipline: The Path to Spiritual Growth, by Richard Foster
• Mere Morality: What God Expects from Ordinary People, by Lewis Smedes

Or maybe a book I haven't read yet, like:

• The Reason For God: Belief in an age of skepticism, by Tim Keller
  
• Becoming The Answer To Our Prayers: Prayers For Ordinary Radicals, by Shane Claiborne and Jonathon Wilson-Hartgrove
• Finding Our Way Again: The Return of the Ancient Practices, by Brian McLaren
• Jesus For President: Politics for Ordinary Radicals, by Shane Claiborne and Chris Haw
• The Divine Conspiracy: Rediscovering Our Hidden Life in God, by Dallas Willard
• Resident Aliens: Life in the Christian Colony, by Stanley Haurwas and William Willimon
• Jesus and Nonviolence: A Third Way, by Walter Wink
  

I can't decide.

More politics

Have you heard the latest? If Barack Obama is elected president of the United States all the banks will be closed in five days.

That's because it will be Sunday (the election is on a Tuesday). Ha ha ha.

You know, I have been trying lately to be a little kinder when it comes to politics (on the blog and in real life). I have let loose some rhetoric that is not so nice in the past, and for that I am sorry. However, I finally took a gander at some of the crud James Dobson and his cronies at Focus on the Family have been slinging about Senator Obama and.... well.... if the Christian Right has it right, then I'd just as soon be wrong.

I lost all respect for James Dobson years ago. But I can't believe the anti-Obama letter and other things they are circulating. You can see the letter, and also give a response to it, HERE. I wish there was a way to let people know, that just because FoF is a "Christian" group, that doesn't mean all Christians are like that... anymore than we're all like that similar-to-them "Christian" group that demonstrates at military funerals.

So, as far as who to vote for... again, it makes no difference to me who you vote for, or if you even vote. It's a free country. But I thought I would share why I am voting the way I am. I base it on these three criteria (in order of importance): 1) The candidates Character - because character usually dictates action; Visionary leadership - the ability to inspire or lead, because I believe that is largely the Presidents job; and 3) the Issues. I give the nod to Obama in all three.

I used to think both major candidates were men of character. But as the campaign has drug on, and as the one camp has chosen to campaign solely by trying to smear the other camp, I don't see how a lack of character cannot be at the root of it. It is increasingly clear to me that one candidate truly is a man of faith (Obama is the only one of the two who claims to be a follower of Jesus), and one man is not. McCain has never claimed any Christian affiliation, and when he did try to latch on to some high-profile preachers, he later asked them not to endorse him because he realized they were nuts. (When McCain says he has "faith in god," he never specifies which god). And it's not that a Christian candidate is better than a non-Christian one (IMHO), but I continue to be amazed by the number of people who simply assume Christian and Republican are synonymous.

Anyway, Andrew Sullivan has a pretty good post on "The Top Ten Reasons Conservatives Should Vote For Obama." I don't know that I agree with everything he says, but it is good nonetheless.

I will be glad when this is all over. My gut says McCain's fear and smear campaign will win out. Which I think is a really sad statement for America. And why I believe we need someone like Obama now more than ever. We will see though. I hope my gut is wrong.

Peace out; and in.

ht to Brian M

Walking the bible tonight

Tonight we begun another Wednesday night B.S. series at our church. We're going to be looking at the video "Walking The Bible: A Journey By Land Through the Five Books of Moses." This was shown on PBS and is a companion to the book by the same name by Bruce Feiler.

I'm not exactly sure how we're going to do it yet, because it's broken up into three 1-hour segments. I'm thinking about just doing like a half hour of video, and another half hour of discussion each night. Or something like that.

The back of the dvd case has this to say:

Both a heart-racing adventure and an uplifting quest, Walking the Bible presents one man's epic journey -- by foot, jeep, rowboat, and camel -- through the greatest stories ever told. From crossing the Red Sea to climbing Mount Sinai to touching the burning bush, Bruce Feiler's inspiring odyssey will forever change your view of history's most legendary events.

The stories in the first five books of the Bible, also known as the Torah, come alive as Feiler searches across three continents for the stories and heroes shared by Christians and Jews. You'll visit the slopes of Mount Ararat, where Noah's ark landed, trek to the desert outpost where Abraham first heard the words of God, and scale the summit where Moses received the Ten Commandments. Dramatic scripture readings interspersed throughout bring you closer to these Biblical settings. A once-in-a-lifetime journey, Walking the Bible offers new insight into the roots of our common faith and uncovers fresh answers to the most profound questions of the human spirit.

Should be innaresting. I hope someone shows up. It's open to anyone and everyone at 7 pm each Wednesday. The coffee will be on.

Altars calls and altering lives

Douglas Sweeney and Mark Rogers have a nice article about how 'altar calls' got their start in evangelical churches. It's called Walk the Aisle, and is in this months Christianhistory.net. Contrary to what many people believe, altar calls are not really a biblical concept. It was popularized during the 1800's. You can read the article for the whole scoop.

We had an altar call at the end of every single service in the church I came to faith in. I can remember many a Sunday when I would sit there in the pew and wrestle with myself whether or not I should "go forward." I finally did walk the aisle probably sometime in late 1988. Though I had already made a conscious decision to surrender my life to Jesus before that. I did that twenty years ago this week. I can remember it like it was yesterday - standing in a hospital parking lot, leaning up against our '73 Torino, and I finally admitted that I needed help with this thing called life; I couldn't do it on my own anymore; so I told God that I needed him and I asked Jesus to come into my heart and lead me and guide me in what I should do. Then, probably a few Sundays after that, I walked the aisle and made it "official" in church (you know, so they could count it in the church record books).

When I first became a pastor I used altar calls quite a bit, or I would have everyone bow their head, close their eyes, and raise their hand; Or I would have them fill out a card. Something. But I don't do it anymore. I have come to see conversion as much more of a process. And it was for me. I 'put the stake in the ground' so-to-speak in the hospital parking lot - that's when I made a conscious decision to give my life to Christ - but my heart had been undergoing change long before that. And it wasn't until a year or so after that - when I was discipled in a small group - that I really understood much of what had happened.

Sometimes I wonder if altar calls don't still have a place though. You know, it kind of forces us to make a conscious decision. I don't know that that "settles" anything, but maybe it can help. I don't know. Just thinking...

Places for pastoral help

I stumbled onto this CareGivers Forum which lists locations and descriptions of places around the country that offer help to clergy and ministry leaders in the areas of spiritual direction, counseling, or even just plain old R & R. There is a place called the Vitality Care Institute for Personal and Professional Effectiveness in Fort Wayne. I think I might even know this guy. Also The Pastors Institute in Anderson.

Definitely worth keeping on hand, and maybe checking out sometime. Gee, you would think this is something our regional and/or denominational directors might make known. I guess they must have other things to do. The truth is though... I have no idea what that is supposed to be.

Tuesday random

• It's just the normal noises. It's just the normal noises. It's just the normal noises.
• I have turned off comments for the time being. Not because I don't want anyone reading my blog, or commenting... it's just easier this way for right now. Sorry.
  
• This morning was the first 'hard' frost of the year (I think). The ground was pretty well covered, as well as the rooftops.
  
• Jane worked her first day at the bank yesterday. She was not at the one she will normally be at, but at the main branch for training. She had a session with the security officer for the company, and said he closed with prayer (or else it was written in the training material - not sure). Very interesting nonetheless. She worked 9 am to 1 pm. Today is at her regular place, and the hours will be closer to her regular hours. Seems like a really, really nice company.
• Last night I got a call from the Obama campaign asking if we wanted to help out on election day. I declined, because the voting machines in my precinct will be about 20 feet from my desk. I told the lady I was going to put a sign out front that this is a "Polling place for Democrats only - Republicans should report to the Methodist Church." Wouldn't that be funny? No, I didn't really say that. But I did decline to help, because I want to be around for all the excitement on voting day. It should be fun.
  
• I forgot to turn on the heat for the lady's Bible Study this morning. I ran over about 6:45 am and did it.
• We went to bed about 10 last night and actually got 8 hours of sleep for a change. We hardly ever go to bed before 11 or so, and I usually get up sometime between 6 and 6:22. So why was I so stinking tired this morning? I swear, sometimes I think getting too much sleep makes you more tired.
  
• Jane and I both seem to be getting over our ...whatever it was we had. I was worried Jane was getting pnemonia again from listening to her cough and breathe. Glad she didn't.
• I need to start on another book. I am bookless at the moment. Just not in the mood. I've kind of been contemplating on some Psalms though.
• I still haven't fully rebounded in my running. I took a week off awhile back, and just can't get back up to speed. I'm back up to doing about 4 miles a day, but it takes me as long to do that as it took me to do 5 before I took the break. Sure is easy to get out of step. Something is always better than nothing though, I guess.
  
• ...other stuff.
  

New mic batteries

I put new batteries in the Sure lapel mic today - 10/26/08. The old ones were still ok, but the last time they were changed was 8/10/08.

3 years of blogging

Today is my anniversary... or blogiversary. It was three years ago today that I started this blog. My first post was 'Welcome To My Mind.' I never imagined anyone would read it, let alone leave comments eventually.

I've met a lot of people and made some good friends. I appreciate those of you who have taken the time to read and/or comment.

Peace out; and in.

Beard - week 1

Here is the beard growth after one week. I'm not sure why it is grayer than the hair on my head. Not that I really care. It's losing my hair that I don't like.

Take note of the new eyeglasses. And I bought those flowers in the background for Jane yesterday - the last day of making pizza. There is also a pile of newspapers on the table. Note to self: don't resubscribe to the newspaper. You never read it other than online.

Thursday wursday

See how I am? Just the other day I wrote a post on how easy it is to get sucked into political positing... and there I go again. No politics today. I think I've made myself clear that I like Barack Obama for President, but whether he or Cotton Hill wins won't change a thing about my life come Nov. 5. On to other stuff...

Last night m'lady and I did attend another session with Brian McLaren at AU. We even ran into son Isaac on the way there. It was a good time. We were a bit early and caught Brian teaching the all-girl worship team a song. They used it to close with. And this talk was a new one for me, and it was good. There are some things you just can't teach in books, and the only way to carry them on is for one person to teach another. He cited how we can't figure out how the pyramids were made, we cannot duplicate a Strativarious even with all of our technology today, and several more instances; and he also told how a violin maker goes about teaching an apprentice... that was neat. How it's an over and over and over and over again process of watching and learning, watching and learning.

The only thing I wrote down was this quote from Brian:

"Everybody wants to be cool, but Jesus wants us to be warm."

Yeah... another reminder for me.

Well... today is Jane's last day of making pizza's at East of Chicago. Unfortunately she has the sore throat and crummy feeling that I had this past weekend. Hopefully she'll feel better when she starts her new bank job Monday. Can't believe she's worked at the pizza place for 8 years. She's only called in sick once in all that time.

I've got a full plate today. I have breakfast with some other pastors this morning, need to look over what I hope will be my sermon for Sunday, put together an order of the service, do the powerpoint, make the bulletins, I have a couple of errands to run, and I'm hoping to mow one more time (though I've said that before).

You know, I hardly ever think about the possibility of a parallel universe anymore. But sometimes I wonder if there's a catawampus one. What do you think?

Just your average hockey mom

Sorry, but I couldn't resist. Sarah Palin is on campus where daughter Carrie works, today. This was news to me... and so was this...

So Sarah Palin thinks she is just like the rest of us? Apparently the Republicans have spent $150,000.00 dressing her since being nominated for vp! (another story HERE) Yep, that's close to the monthly allotment for clothes in our house. Her jacket for the RNC speech alone was $2500.

With spending like this they'll have that national debt dwindled down in no time. And when she talked about bringing change to Washington, apparently she meant a change of clothes.

Rumor has it they're going to donate the clothes to charity though. I mean, you know, we wouldn't want her wearing the same outfit twice. But wouldn't that be like Socialism? Spreading the clothing wealth around...

Maybe she'll just leave a bag of clothes on Carrie's desk when she leaves Findlay today. That would be nice of her.

What I learned at college yesterday

I had the opportunity to attend chapel at Anderson University yesterday morning. Brian McLaren was the speaker. It was a packed house, and one thing I kept thinking while hanging out was... I think it would be really fun to be a campus pastor or work on a college campus. But I don't, so... here was the morning yesterday...

I was a bit disappointed at first, because McLaren's talk was basically an outline of his book 'The Story We Find Ourselves In.' And I've already read that book a couple of times, so I didn't hear anything new. To be honest, Brian is not the most engaging speaker either. It's the content of his message that holds you, and when it's an old message...

But as he talked, he reminded me how much I liked this book. And THAT reminded me that I must have loaned my book out to someone and they never returned it. Dang. I guess I'll have to buy another one, because this is a great book, but my old one already had notes and pages turned and whatnot... whatever. It was the second in Brian's trilogy (after 'A New Kind of Christian'). ANKOC was really life-changing for me. I actually cried on the very first page. It was like somebody reached in and physically touched my heart. Like somebody actually KNEW me. Life changing - though it probably helped that the pastors name was Dan. Anyway, this book followed that up, though not quite on the personal level as the first.

So... the bulk of the talk (and book) centered around the fact that we are all a part of stories. We are in the midst of our own, but ultimately we all fit into God's story. And the breakdown of God's story - the story of the Bible - is as such...

Creation - Genesis 1
Crisis - sin
Calling - Abram sent; blessed to be a blessing
Conversation - Prophets, poets, etc
Christ - created a new story
Community - ministry of reconciliation
Consumation/Celebration - how it ends up/should be

I like how Brian points out that the church is about much more than just mission. And this is where I have a problem with the whole "missional" conversation. Because it's more than that. Brian says it's about...

Faith = spirituality
Hope = mission
Love = community

I tend to think this gives a more balanced view of what it means to be a follower of Jesus; a part of the church. I'm just not sold when people talk about being Christians but not a part of the church. Or when people say it's all about what we "do." I believe we need all three.

I wish I had my book, but just going from memory... I also like how Brian talks about the goal or point of the story as being a blessing. Abraham wasn't blessed just for himself. God blessed him so he would be a blessing to others. And that continues. The idea is that Christians are not just to bless the Church... but the whole world. That even includes our enemies. Brian said something about how this could play out in politics and world relations... and the place got pretty quiet, I thought.

On a personal note... when he was talking about 'conversation'... it kind of occurred to me that I am maybe more of a poet than a prophet. Whenever I take leadership tests (such as the APEST), I always score high as a prophet - though that's usually not my highest. But Brian talked about how the poets are those in the Bible who basically just wrote, "this is what my life is like" (thinks Psalms). I thought this interesting, because when I first started thinking about going into full-time ministry I was thinking more along the lines of a Rich Mullins or Steven Curtis Chapman. Now, I'm not a songwriter, but maybe my blogging is somewhat poetic. Not that I rhyme, but it is very much, "this is my life... me and my cussing and my depression and my struggles with God and humanity and everything. Here I am God."

I dunno. It kinda made me feel good. Because I tend to struggle with the prophet stuff; the telling people where they're wrong. I don't like doing that. Even though I know I have a bit of it in me. But I'm much too concerned about being liked, and being a poet kind of fits better with that.

Well, I had a super swell time yesterday. Got to sit with lots of cool people. It was a nice day for a drive. Brian is there for a couple of days - it's spiritual emphasis week - so Lady Jane and I are thinking of possibly taking in an evening chapel. Unfortunately son Isaac is in prison tonight.

Peace out, peeps; and in.

Beating up brian (mclaren)

I'm thinking about beating up Brian McLaren today. He is speaking at son Isaac's school, and I'm planning to head that way shortly. Why I'd like to punch him in the face is because he was there last week for a discussion on politics, and apparently he and the boy had a little disagreement, and Brian was a little ...unkind. I think that odd in light of what the discussion was about, and how he was apparently questioning Isaac's ORTHODOXY of all things. This from the man who wrote the book 'A Generous Orthodoxy'!

Actually, I have no intention of beating up Brian. He and Isaac did have a disagreement, but I don't think it was that big of a deal. I just think it's another case of what happens when we let politics get the best of us. McLaren was on Obama's payroll last week. Not that there's anything wrong with that, but I can see how that could cloud his sense of 'orthodoxy.' Even the best of us can become dichotomized at some point. I hear it all the time... "there's a difference between church stuff and real life." Yeah... that's a tempting trap we're all capable of being pulled into.

Oddly enough I read a great piece entitled 'The Lie of Politics' by Isaac's pastor last week. That was something *I* needed to hear. He summed it up nicely at the end...

The truth is that there is no hope in principles or issues. There is no hope in politics, world leaders, policies or government. There is no ‘right’ or ‘wrong’ candidate. There is only the hope of Jesus Christ. The only thing that remains is the grassroots gospel of a new humanity of people loving and serving and giving their lives so that God might increase and be known to others as they do so.

My prayer for myself and my brothers and sisters is that we don’t forget that this political season. In the panic of the economy, the war and our country’s future, I hope that we never let go of the person next to us for the sake of grabbing onto an ideal or a party ticket. It’s only in this way that our light will shine for the next couple months.

So, I'm hoping for a peaceful time with Brian today (and Isaac too). His books have taught me much over the years, and there is much more I need to learn.

Peace out, friends; and in.

Monday mourning ramble

I'm not really in mourning... but I feel kinda crummy today, and just can't giddy myself up.

I started not feeling well yesterday. My ear is bothering me again (and, NO, it's not because of my freakin earring!), my throat hurts, my eyes are all watery, and just your general gunk like that.

I did finally turn the heat on in the living room and kitchen yesterday afternoon. I think it was colder in the house than it was outside.

I've got some emails, comments, and other messages I need to return. My brain isn't warmed up yet though. If you're waiting on a response from me... hang tight. Well, maybe you better hang loose. I'm thinking about it, but not sure when I'll muster the thought required to respond.

I don't like preaching from week to week. Not that I don't like preaching, but I am not currently in a series, and I don't like getting to Monday and not having any idea what I'm going to preach about on Sunday. Though there is a certain freedom to it that I really do like.

I finally checked out Royal Enfield motorcycles. Yes... very cool. Now I want one.

I am also pondering the purchase of a Gibson electric guitar that was once owned by Warner Hodges. I hate spending money on things like this, but... hmm.

I bought a new hat at AU. It's an AU hat. It's black. One of the nicer hats I have like this. I spent too much money on it. Oh well.

I caved in last night and decided to sing in our church's Christmas Cantata. We had our first practice. I wasn't going to do it this year for a variety of reasons. I was going to run the sound board instead. But we didn't have very many show up, and Jane is the director, so I did. I think that's why my throat hurts this morning. So now we need to find someone to run sound; and some more voices would be nice too, but... whatever.

I have had a few people comment about my not playing guitar and singing up front on Sunday mornings, and someone turned in a note yesterday saying "this better be temporary!" I'm not really sure what to make of that. I think it's been going great, and I wish I had done this years ago. But I suppose it's something like this that will finally get me fired. I'm just not sure I can go back to doing it now. Kinda one of those things that - I didn't realize just how much strain it was putting on me until I no longer did it. But I think there are a number of people who think I am paid to do everything. I should probably address this, but... we'll just have to see.

Yeah.

Pics and au homecoming

Yesterday m'lady and I drove down to Anderson University to see son Isaac. It was AU's homecoming weekend, we needed to switch cars with Isaac since we'd had some work done on his this week, and Jane wanted to get some pics of he and Laura. It was a beautiful day for a drive.

We ate lunch at the mexican place on 14th street, then went and took pics. There was a brief freakout moment when Jane thought the camera battery was dead. It turned out the battery wasn't even in the camera, so all was well. After pictures we watched a little bit of the AU football game. They have a nice new field, but it was kinda chilly, and they were getting beat, so we didn't stick around too long. It was a nice day for a game though.

Aaaaanyway.... here are some of the pics. All of Laura and Isaac's turned out swell. When it was time for Jane and I, though, someone decided to have a laughing fit. So it kinda looks like Jane is crying in many of ours. She was really laughing. I think.

Beards and peace and all that

So I was thinking of growing my beard out again. I usually have a bit o' growth each week, 'cause I hate to shave. But I normally get the razor out a couple times a week so I'm presentable at important stuff. However, I've been seein' shots of Gregg Popovich - coach of the San Antonio Spurs - with this wildly long beard.... and I thought it might be time to give it another go, long and scraggly. We'll see.

Anyway, I was trying to find a picture of Gregg's beard on google, and I can't believe they don't have a current picture of a coach in the NBA. But while looking for it, I stumbled onto a coupla wild sites.

One million peace signs is simply awesome. I'm going to have to add my pic to their collection.

And that is where I came across the beards for peace website. Ha! Even more of a reason to grow my beard out - to protest war.

Then I happened onto a pic of good ol' Bob Ross. How many of you used to watch The Joy of Painting? Talk about a 'peaceful, easy feeling.' I LOVED watching his painting show. It was like therapy. Apparently Bob died in 1995 of lymphoma. Too bad, because I think HE would have made a good president.


So... there ya go. Peace out; and in; and even on your face, if you like.

untitled

I will probably turn comments off on this post because I'm in a pretty hollow mood and it will likely be one of those where somebody will feel the need to tell me that a pastor shouldn't talk like this or shouldn't feel this way, and then I'll do something like use the f-word again, and all hell will break loose, and I always hate it when stuff like that happens. This IS a personal weblog, and this will be a very personal spew of sentiments. And I hate it when people try to tell me how they think I should or should not feel. So... you enter at your own risk.

I don't know what happens. I so look forward to Thursdays because that is the end of the week for me. Friday is my one day off, and I usually have a little lighter skip to my step on Thursday mornings because I know Friday is coming. But then for some odd reason, as the day wears on, it goes away. And I don't know why, then, on so many Fridays I actually end up depressed.

But this morning I was meandering through blogland and a friend of mine had a link to this post, and one sentence jumped right off the screen into my lap:

If we have no one we really trust, no one we can talk through our failures with then we are truly alone. It doesn’t matter what level of commitment we have to a group or organization.

Ouch. I think we have something here. Story of my life. And what possibly makes it hurt even more is it appears the author is implying church leaders (pastors/preachers) are most responsible for making people feel this way. And maybe we are. Maybe *I* am. But when I read it, it seemed to me that I know soooo many pastors who feel this way. Although I would probably feel this way whether I were a pastor or not. In fact, I know I would, because I have. So that bummed me out even more. I have longed for a community like this person is talking about for as long as I can remember. I long for it now. But it just seems like no one else does. Or no one wants it with ME anyway. Or maybe it's just plain impossible. And I think maybe it is. Could it be that this is more what heaven will be like; and it's what we're supposed to be working at here-and-now, but too many of us can't deal with the less-than-ideal. So we quit trying. And scars turn to callouses turn to nothing and no one feels...

How does it feel to be stuck inside of Mobile...

I dunno.

Then, I don't even remember how I found my way to this post by Tim Stevens about stuff Andy Stanley was thinking about. I believe these are right-on-the-mark, and I think it's a good list, but these two quotes made my ears ring:

The best idea for reaching the next generation isn't going to come from the existing generation, it's going to come from the next generation. If you are over 45 years old, you aren't going to have any good ideas. It's your job to recognize the good ideas.

When your memories exceed your dreams, the end is near. You look back with smiles and lots to celebrate, but you don't have a lot to work forward to.

Yeah... I'll be turning 46 in a few weeks. And I don't know that the top quote is necessarily true... but I believe it nonetheless. I used to listen to Dream Weaver all the time. Haven't heard it in years.

So here I sit... in my blue bathrobe. Innaresting, isn't it? I walked around various places in Fort Wayne last night asking, "Isn't anybody else lonely?" and not a soul heard me think it.

But the problem isn't them... it's me.

That's one thing I don't think a lot of people realize when people like me get how I so often am. You know, when I get bummed out, I don't want anyone to do something FOR me. In fact, that's about the last thing I want. That just makes it worse. Like, if you're depressed about having a birthday, and then everybody makes a big deal about it being your birthday. It's kinda just rubbing your face in it. It's completely disregarding your feelings. It's a lack of respect. Just because someone is different doesn't mean there's something wrong with them. It might. But it doesn't have to. And the thing is... for me anyway... when I get depressed (if that's even what it is)... I don't want someone else to DO something... *I* want to change. There's nothing anyone else can do to make that happen. But there's a lot that other people can do to make it worse.

Yeah... I'm a difficult person. I know it. Impossible, even. A lot of people - even therapist type people - say we need to "name the problem" or "name the pain." We need to "go there;" and "deal with it." You know... what if "it" is not a "problem" or a "pain"? Sometimes I think the thing to do is to NOT give it a name. Again, I'm not suggesting this as depression therapy or anything. I don't know what it's like for anyone else. And I don't even know if this is depression in me. It's just deep down thoughts that stream through from time to time. It's character. So I think sometimes - for me - I just need to accept it; surrender it; lay it at the foot of the cross (you know, that public square where Jesus bleeds and people scowl), and let his blood wash over it and cover it up. Less of me, and more of him. Forget about naming MY pain. What about HIS name?

Who I am
makes no difference.
I am a thought or a mist
and there's no point fighting
against.

But surrender is not
submission.
They are two different worlds
two different games.
And only one
has a Name.

Quote of the day

I subscribe to this thing called Christian Quotation of the Day. Each day I get an email with a Bible verse meditation, a quote, and a brief reflection sentence. Sometimes I find it helpful to take small bites like these and chew on them throughout the day, rather than trying to cram my head full and hope some of it sticks. Here are a couple examples.

Yesterday's was...

Meditation:
The one who received the seed that fell among the thorns is the man who hears the word, but the worries of this life and the deceitfulness of wealth choke it, making it unfruitful.
-- Matthew 13:22 (NIV)

Quotation:
Our Adversary majors in three things: noise, hurry and crowds. If he can keep us engaged in "muchness" and "manyness," he will rest satisfied.
...Richard J. Foster

Quiet time reflection:
Lord, keep the enemy's distractions away, and fill my heart with Your word.

The day before was...

Meditation:
I will listen to what God the LORD will say; he promises peace to his people, his saints--but let them not return to folly.
--Psalm 85:8 (NIV)

Quotation:
The trouble with nearly everybody who prays is that he says "Amen" and runs away before God has a chance to reply. Listening to God is far more important than giving Him your ideas.
...Frank Laubach (1884-1970)

Quiet time reflection:
Lord, I hear Your voice.

Peace out; and in.

It is wednesday

My titles are becoming about as creative as the contents of my posts. Sorry. I seem to have a constant brain cloud lately. Must be the weather.

Some random thoughts whilst I try to decide if I want to go see Michelle Obama today or not...

• I don't think I'll even watch the debate tonight. My mind is made up. I'm fed up with all the bs. The attempted character assassination by the Republicans has really soured me on the whole thing.
• I really would like to go down to the Grand Wayne Center in Fort Wayne and see Mrs. Obama - even if it's just to watch the crowd - but I have lots to do. Maybe if I can get myself really motivated...
  
• I accidentally watched a little bit of the governor's debate last night (Indiana). The woman (whatever her name is) has always rubbed me the wrong way. I happen to like Mitch. I met him in a restaurant once and shook his hand. I didn't know who he was at the time. And I don't know who the Libertarian candidate was at the debate last night.... but he was HILARIOUS. I really liked the guy. I may have to find out his name at least.
• I hardly ever blog about sports, and I don't know why, because I probably know more about football and basketball than anything else in the world (which isn't saying a lot).
  
• I think my two favorite football teams - the University of Illinois and the Dallas Cowboys - both have the same problem right now: a total lack of emotion. It's like they're just going through the motions. Juice Williams is putting up incredible stats, but he seems to lack that intangible drive to win. It's something you can't teach or coach - it's either there or it isn't.
• I said last week that the Cowboys were overrated. Now they're in a world of hurt with the rash of injuries they've had. Though it might actually do them some good. Tony Romo has loads of talent, but he's been trying to play too "smart." He is not a "smart" type of player. He needs to fly by the seat of his pants... like Brett Favre. Romo has just had no energy whatsoever. I hate seeing him go to the sidelines and just sit there. That's not what got him to where he is. But... he is making big money now. Unfortunately that seems to have changed several of the guys on that team.
• And I just don't see the Roy Williams trade as helping things out. Sure, Roy has loads of talent, but he's also another one of those majorly pouty type players. It might work for a brief while, but.... just wait.
• Actually, and I hate to say it, but Terrell Owens is the only player on the Cowboys team that seems to really even care if they win or not. Say what you want about him, but he is a competitor.
• I wish Pacman Jones well, but I don't think anyone expected him to last. I liked him as a football player though.
  
• I'm ready for basketball season to start. Even though the Fighting Illini will still struggle this year, they'll at least be better team-wise than last year. I think they're 2 or 3 years from 'being there' again. If the fans can be patient.
• I predict the Bulls will suck this year. I don't have any idea what pro basketball team will do well. Oden might play a month before he's hurt again. If he even makes it til the regular season.
• Okey dokey... my brain is dry.
  

Pastor's breakfast

This morning I went to a Pastor's Breakfast put on by a local Christian book store. I've attended one of these before and I only attended this one because a friend was going who is a new pastor. You pay for breakfast and then sit and listen to publishers push their books, and then you get some freebies. It was about 2 1/2 hours.

At first I was sitting there in this room full of probably 100 or so pastors, and you know me, I was being my usual cynical old self. There were pastors there of all shapes and sizes, some dressed in suits and some in shorts, several of them talked while the speakers were making their presentations, cell phones went off left and right. Typical stuff that would probably drive many of them mad if someone else did that during their Sunday services.

So... being all full of myself, I start chatting with the guy sitting to my right. He is dressed like a business man in a really nice suit and expensive looking watch and whatnot. Running through my mind are all these nasty thoughts about what kind of pastor he must be. It turns out he pastors an inner-city church connected with the city mission. Ninety-five percent of their income is spent on missions/ministry, with the other five percent spent on utilities and upkeep. He doesn't draw a salary, but instead works full-time as a financial consultant - which is why he was dressed the way he was. So I swallowed my bagel hard and asked God to forgive my stinking judgmental attitude.

Then one of the publishers gets up to speak, and even though he works for Zondervan, he was also presenting for the Broadman-Hulman rep because he was unable to be there. How often do you see a businessman help out someone from a competing company? Would I have done that?

At the end, the owners of the store that put the event on (which I always complain about every time I go there) got up and thanked everyone for attending. They proceeded to tell how their business has suffered for the past several years, and what a strain it has put on their personal finances and their relationship and everything, and how it was only because of their sincere faith in God and desire to serve the community that they've been able to keep the place going, and God has done miracle after miracle and how thankful they are (and it was sincere, not mushy, feel-sorry-for-me type stuff)...

Long before it was over I became pretty convicted of how rotten a person I am. There were all kinds of people in this place, and every single one of them - while each being different - were there because they love God and they want to help people. I want to be more like that, and less negative, cynical, judgmental, and boorish. God help me.

I got a pile of free books: The Holman Christian Standard Bible, A Closer Walk With Jesus - by Guideposts, Character Is The Issue - by Mike Huckabee, The Blazing Center Study Guide - by John Piper, Outragious, Contagious Joy - by Ed Young, A New Earth An Old Deception - by Richard Abanes, Experiencing Leader Shift - by Don Cousins, and Living and Leading From Your Holy Discontent workbook - by Bill Hybels. I may only read a few of these, but more important than the books was the time I spent talking with people. I knew a few already, and met some more. This is one thing I need to make myself do more often - get out and actually talk to people, and quit thinking there is nothing I can learn from anyone else, or thinking I am better than others. I am not. I'm actually much worse. So... I'm glad I went.

Accident

Here are a couple of pics from the accident that happened just down the road from our house this morning. There's a video and details HERE.

Monday, monday

Wow, I am finally back online after being without a connection since yesterday afternoon. Apparently something went wrong with my relay that sits on top of the Yoder grain bin. I've felt so isolated and alone all night and morning.

A busy weekend with the parents and both kids visiting; plus the fish fry. It went pretty well.

This morning we noticed a TON of cars going by about 7 or so. I guess there was a bad wreck on highway 1, so traffic was being diverted around through our neck of the woods. I saw the helicopter fly in, and Jane and I went to Fort Wayne later and it was taking off towards the hospital. That's never good. I still haven't heard anything other than it was a head-on collision. I'd say the road was closed for probably 3 or 4 hours. It's open now.

Nothing much else to say at the moment. I was really just checking to see if the internet worked yet.

Peace out; and in.

Fish fry thoughts

The annual fish fry was another success. It was a beeeeeuatiful day. I think it was about 85 degrees F. The air conditioner was able to keep up pretty well though. And it was nice having the kiddles there.

We served 374 total meals. Last year was 456, but 'o6 was 365, '05 was 370, and '04 was 348. So just about average. Just guessing I would say almost 1/3 were takeout orders. While Jane and I were taking money we had several come in and get up to 10 meals at a time. I don't think we ever came close to running out of seats in the basement.

I would like to have a meeting in the next couple of weeks for people who might have ideas as to how we can improve future fish fries. Some in my head are:

• We need to change some of the amounts on supplies. I am going to return about 10 big cans of green beans and another 10 of applesause. It's the same thing every year. There's no reason for this.
• I don't know why we put the bread in individual baggies on the tables. Can't we just put a loaf of bread in the serving line and have people take it if they need it?
• We need to change how the coffee is. We ran out of decaf, and I don't think a lot of people see where it's at. Maybe buy more caraf's to put on tables, or serve coffee from drink table.
• We need to post exit signs, so people don't feel they need to meander back out the way they came in.
• The takeout people need serving gloves. Everyone should be wearing them.
• Do we really need coleslaw AND applesause?
• Do we really need to peel all 180 pounds of potatoes, or can we leave skin on? Do we need that many potatoes? We had two big tubs left over.
• Do we need to redo the helper sheets? Are there some jobs that don't require as many people; and some jobs that maybe aren't even on the sheet? Do we need more people or less?
• Is there a way to get people assigned to jobs better (rather than me having to resort to guilting people into it on the Sunday morning prior)?
• I think we should have all the people who are serving park in the field. We ran out of parking, and probably do every year. This is the first year I've noticed people parking in our yard though.

Hey, if anybody has any ideas, feel free to comment or email me. I thought it went really well though. It was over at 7, and everything was cleaned up and put away, and Jane and I were home about 8 pm. Nice. I think the first year here we didn't get home until midnight. I don't know yet how much money we made for the food bank, but I'm sure whatever it was will be appreciated.

The first customer came in at 4:05 and was put out that they couldn't get their food. It doesn't start until 4:30. Oh well.

peace out; and in.

Fish fry for the hungry

Tomorrow evening our church has our annual fish fry. It's an all-you-can-eat fish and tenderloin dinner with green beans, potatoes, slaw, desert, and drink. $7 for adults; $5 for kids 6-12; and free for the wee ones. Dan's Fish Fry from Huntington, IN provides the fish and tenderloin, and people from the church provide the rest. The money we take in will be donated to Community Harvest Food Band of Northeast Indiana. It's good food, a good time, and goes to support a good cause, if I do say so myself. You can eat inside, outside under the pavilion, or get it to go.

We used to do these fish fries and keep the money for ourselves - sometimes just to pay the church bills. Finally we decided that maybe we should be doing this stuff as a ministry - a way to be a blessing to others. Instead of asking people from outside the church to come and give us money for our church, we decided to do it as a way to help the community. So each year we designate the money to go somewhere else: the rescue mission, a women's shelter, or something like that. We decided on the food bank this year because they are in pretty dire need of donations, and demand has been higher than usual.

If you don't have anything to do Saturday, stop on out. Lady Jane and I will be at the front door taking money during the first shift - from 4:00 to 5:30. It ends at 7 pm.

Running break

I ran the usual 5 miles on Monday, but haven't done anything since then. Just a little glitch in my giddyup - nothing serious. But thought I might take a week off from running. I've got other stuff to do, and I've been a little obsessive about it lately. So if you don't recognize me the next time you see me it's probably because I've gained a thousand pounds. Although, I don't know that running really takes much weight off me. It seems to have more of an emotional benefit than anything. As much as that is possible.

Randomoree

• We're getting ready for my parents to visit this weekend. This is the longest we've gone without any visitors, so Jane has been nagging at me to fix things up (not really). I think it's been a year and a half since my parents have been here. So we're trying to clean Isaac's old room for them to sleep in.
• Last night I hung two guitars on the wall in the treadmill room. I need another hangy thing to put up a third. I was going to hang four on one wall, but Jane says you're supposed to hang things in threes. I'm sure she knows better than I do.
• We had a stack of Guitar World magazines - from mid-2002 to early 2007 - and I was able to fit them perfectly in one paper ream box. All in order, of course. I think there were maybe 3 or 4 missing from the series.
• Last night I also worked on getting the cove base put back down in the laundry room and bathroom. After we carpeted earlier this year I originally put down some rolled up self-stick cove. That didn't work for crap. So I got some regular stuff. Much better. I only have two more pieces to cut, then I need to glue it all down. It looks better just sitting there than the other did after it was glued to the wall.
• I heard yesterday that some people want John McCain to name Rudy Gulianni as his Attorney General. Oh man. I swear, if John-boy wins, and has both Sarah Palin and Rudy in his cabinet... I just might consider moving to another country. Rudy might have been a good movie, but I have a very, very low opinion of the former mayor.
• Last night we went to Bob Evans - since we're going to miss date night this week (visitors); and I guess several of our regularly scheduled events will be disrupted this weekend - but anyway, we went to BE, and someone bought our supper for us. Some nice folks from our church. That made it taste all the better. How 'bout that.
  
• It must be the weather, because I've been waking up in a daze, and it seems to never really go all the way away.
• Bought some apples last night. Haven't had any in awhile, and they smelled really good. Also bought some candy corn and dry roasted peanuts. They are yummy when mixed together.
  
• Can't think of anything else as exciting as all this.
  

John james interview

Wow, I stumbled across this looong interview with ex-Newsboys lead singer John James (though I see now that it was done in 2007). Anyway, I remember we were fairly into the Christian concert scene when he was suddenly just 'gone' from the Newsboys. We saw them in concert several times, and I remember once Carrie literally ran into the bass player on her way to the restroom. Joel ...something. I think that was in Champaign, IL.

This was a sad yet interesting interview. I do believe I had heard rumors at the time that he'd taken to partying too much, but this is really the first I've heard about John since then. And I always thought Peter Furler *looked* like the one that was drugged out.

It also kinda reminds me how I used to think my calling might involve being something of a "manager/pastor" to a band. I always thought that was a bit of a ridiculous idea, but after reading this it seems to make sense. That's not really where I'm at now, but... nice to know I'm not a total fool.

Anyway, even though it's a long interview, it's a good story of how easy it is to fall; and the value of a church family in helping one find restoration. God be with ya, John.

Just preaching

I haven't led worship or played guitar during our Sunday worship gatherings for the past three weeks. The first Sunday it was because we had no one to run the sound board or powerpoint, so I did both. We could have gotten by, but I have wanted to transition away from the music side for some time, and this seemed like a good opportunity.

Right now we just have Jane on keyboard, a drummer, and a singer. I wish we had more instruments, and I'd like to get some other people involved in leading the singing too, but aside from being weird not being up there, it has been GREAT for me personally. It's so nice just being able to SING on Sunday mornings, and not having to worry about transitions, and music, and breaking guitar strings, or getting out of tune, or losing my voice, or anything but preaching. Maybe more than that, though, is that I don't feel near as drained afterward. In fact, I think it has kind of invigorated my preaching. I used to always feel kind of out of breath by the time I preached. And I always felt bad if we did anything with anyone after church. It was really hard for me to make conversation or be attentive, because I was totally spent - physically and emotionally. I think people used to think I didn't care about them or that I was being rude. I was simply exhausted.

I'm waiting for someone to suggest they should cut my pay now though. Even though I didn't lead singing when I first came here. But three weeks ago, the first Sunday I didn't do it, I was at the sound board and several people turned around and looked at me when the singing started. I think it had just become expected that I led the singing AND did the preaching. I'm glad we have other capable people who can do it instead. My problem is... I would like to play guitar, but I can't be up front or I will take charge. So I had to completely remove myself. And, for me anyway, it's been nice to turn it over to someone else and not worry about it. Maybe someday I can play the guitar again (unless, of course, I could find someone else to do it - which would be best).

Of course, it's not like "just preaching" is all that easy in and of itself. I take it pretty seriously, and I like to be well prepared. I rarely preach "home run" sermons, but it's not like getting up in front of a crowd and baring your soul every week (with no feedback) or trying to explain the Bible is a piece of cake anyway. I've always liked this little ditty by Bruce Thielemann...

The pulpit calls those anointed to it as the sea calls its sailors. And like the sea it batters and bruises and does not rest. To preach, to really preach, is to die naked a little at a time, and to know each time you do it that you are going to have to do it again.

Even on my best Sundays I feel pretty naked. I can only think of a couple times over the last nine years where I actually felt somewhat "good" after preaching. I almost always want to quit every Monday. But by the next Sunday I'm ready to go again (usually).

I don't know what any of this means. Just rambling. One thing I've noticed though... I picked up the guitar yesterday... and my fingers are out of practice. Ouch.

Random

• I think it's finally safe for me to say... big congrats to m'lady, who accepted a new job today! This may not be the best time to get back into banking, but it has to be better than the other dough she's been working in for 8 years. I think this will be a nice place to work.
  
• Fall is much too short. It's my favorite season, and there is perhaps no more beautiful place in the world than the Midwestern United States at this time of year.
• I took the air conditioner out of my office window this past Saturday. I think I only ran it a handful of times this year.
• I probably shouldn't feel this way, but I had no pity for the University of Michigan as the Fighting Illini were stomping their butts last Saturday. There have been wayyyyyy too many years when they ran the score up on the Illini. Not that that's what Illinois was doing this year. But 45 points felt really good. (sorry Tom).
• I've been a lifelong Dallas Cowboys fan, but I think they are overrated this year. I'm not sure what it is, but they're lacking 'something.' I'm just not all that into it for some reason.
  
• I have a bored meeting tonight, and if it's not done by nine o'clock I may have to leave. Isn't there another presidential debate tonight?
• My favorite tv show right now is "Life." I loved it last year, and was glad it came back. It was on last night, but I think it's going to be on on Friday nights. Other than that... tv is not so good.
  

New glasses

I picked up my new glasses last night. The bifocals. When I first put them on it wasn't near as bad as I was expecting. I thought I wouldn't be able to walk or something. But I hardly even noticed a difference. Then the lady told me to read this card, and it was all blurry still. Finally she told me to put it down, instead of holding it right in front of my face... Wow! I can read again. I hadn't realized just how poorly I was able to see things.

It's taking me some time to get used to though. My field of vision is smaller. Because I can only see far away out of the top part, and up close stuff out of the bottom, but not vice-versa. And when I turn my head it can make things feel funny. I'm kind of a little nauseous this morning.

It's also taking some time to get used to the new frames. For those of you who don't wear glasses or who are part-timers you don't understand. I've worn glasses since I was in the third grade (other than 3 1/2 years of high school where I wore contacts). When you wear something all day, every day, it kind of becomes a part of your face. Putting on a new pair - and a different style than the old pair - is weird. I don't know if I like the new ones yet. They feel crooked, and my eyelashes keep hitting the lenses, and they sit lower on my face, and hit my nose at a different spot. I'm sure it will just take time. It IS really nice to be able to read things though.

I know I joke around a lot on here, but this is a pretty serious thing for me. My eyes are a fairly constant source of concern - I probably worry about my vision more than anything. I can't see squat without my glasses. And I'm not feeling all that great this morning. As I said, I'm sure it will go away, but this isn't meant to be funny ...if you know what I mean.

New template for church website

I changed the template for the church website this morning. We'd had the old one since Jane first set it up in August of 2003 I believe. I don't much care for the picture of the books on this one, but I like the simple look of it. I don't personally like those all cluttered up with stuff. And I wish the ads weren't on there, but that's what you get for free hosting. I don't mind them that much.

I need to change some of the content and the way the pages are set up. Someday maybe.

I don't know if anyone ever looks at the site anyway. It's nice in the winter if we have to cancel services. And I've also had lots of the new people say they checked us out there before they ever came to visit. That's mainly what I want it for.

The fort wayne potheads

Wow. I thought it was bad enough that Fort Wayne's NBA developmental league team was nicknamed the "Mad Ants." Now, for some reason, somebody thought they needed to rename the minor league baseball team just because they're moving into a new stadium next year. And the "TINCAPS" was the best they could come up with!?! Geez-o-pete. I don't know...

According to the Fort Wayne Tincaps website:

The “TinCaps” moniker is a reference to the beloved pioneer Johnny Appleseed, who was known for wearing his tin cooking pot upon his head. The primary logo will be an apple wearing Johnny’s trademark “Tin Cap.”

So, basically, we are the Potheads. Yep, that's what the downtown needed for revitalization.

I have to admit, though, I actually like the idea of revitalizing downtown. We like to go down to the library for bands during the summer. And even though I'm not much of a baseball fan, I'm much more likely to go see the Potheads downtown than I was to go see the old Wizards out by the Coliseum.

I don't know though. Isn't that the weirdest name you've ever heard of?

Vp debate

I wasn't going to mention the debate last night (and I don't plan to blog my thoughts on the remaining presidential debates), but I know everyone wants to know what I think (ha ha). And, I wanted to post this cool (though slightly outdated) button I saw on Mike's blog. :) So...

I would compare last night's debate to a Nascar race that had no crashes or pit fights; or a 1-0 baseball game. I thought it was pretty boring, but that doesn't necessarily mean it was bad. I wasn't really all that familiar with Sen. Biden, and I have to say that I came away fairly impressed by him as a candidate and a politician. As much as I don't like politics, that doesn't mean all politicians are bad people. In fact, most are probably very good people. Sen. Biden came across as real and down-to-earth, and also someone who knows his stuff. I thought he did a good job of presenting Sen. Obama's plans (something we still haven't heard much from the other camp), and he tried to set the record straight on some things about Sen. McCain (what exactly does it mean to be a maverick?).

As far as Gov. Palin... let me say first off that I actually prayed for her yesterday. I don't know that it made any difference, but I wanted you to know that I am not a total cad. :) There was a lot of pressure on her, and I did want her to do well and not be overcome by the weight of the situation. She probably did better than I expected and I am happy for her. However, I still don't think she is capable of serving as Vice-President - much less as President should that need arise - of the most powerful nation in the world. And, if I can be totally transparent here... I just have to say that I cannot stand her voice and her 'personality.' But that's just me - it's a personal thing. And, this whole bit about her being "one of us." Well, first off, I don't think she's much like me. But also, I don't know that I necessarily want someone like me making decisions on matters of international concern anyway. I would hope for someone with a little more knowledge and expertise.

So, overall, I don't think either vp candidate "lost" the debate for their party. As one reporter said, "Gov. Palin made herself look better, but probably not John McCain." It probably won't surprise anyone that I think Sen. Biden won. He was calm, cool, and confident. Gov. Palin had some facts wrong, and... if the fact that she didn't totally screw up means she did good... I'm not sure that says a whole lot. I would also add that, even though Gov. Palin tried to get a little snarky on a couple occasions, I liked the tone of this debate much better than the first presidential one. They were both cordial and pleasant. So that's my fairly biased and uneducated take on the thing.

Peace out, folks; and in.

Maybe the wrong house was right

I just had a phone call from a guy wanting to know what time our Sunday service was. I tried to engage him in a little small-talk to see if I could find anything out about him - like where he's from, if he's just visiting, if he's mad at his 'regular' church, how he heard about us, etc - and he was more than happy to oblige. Which was odder for me because I'm not a phone person; but anyway, we had a nice chat.

I guess the deal is... he's never been to a church before. For reasons he didn't share, he said he just felt like he might want to try it. And he chose our church because several years ago someone came to his house and dropped off a coffee cup filled with candy and the cup had our church name on it. We used to have some people who did that for people who visited on a Sunday morning. We don't do it anymore, because one of them died, and the other two got mad at me and left the church. But anyway, apparently they took this cup to the wrong house because he hadn't visited. He says he called me at the time (I don't remember, but he's probably right), and I told him to keep it anyway. This had to have been at least 5 years ago. So, he said he still had the cup, and since he was going to try a church, he thought he would try ours.

So I guess you just never know. Although... probably 80% of the people who say they will "see me Sunday" never end up showing. See how easy it is to put a negative spin on things. :/

September running

During the month of September I ran on the treadmill 22 days; for a total of 100.93 miles (4.6 ave. per day); for 1208 minutes (54.9 ave. per day); and burned 11,852 calories.

I looked back, and during August I ran 22 days for 87.7 miles. So I'm up a little.

Lately I've been doing a little over 5 miles per day on Monday and Tuesday. Wednesday I either don't run or just do a mile or two walk. Thursday and Friday I try to do 4 or 5 miles each day. Saturday depends - I might not do anything, or I might do 5. Sundays are for resting.

It's odd, because I still don't really like to run, but I think I've become addicted. My body feels better on days when I run. I don't know if I could do it without a tv though. Normally I watch 'Around The Horn' and 'PTI' on ESPN, and sometimes CNN.

Sometimes I forget just how long it's taken me to get to this point too. For years and years I walked; then we got an exercise bike; and for the first few years of having the treadmill the most I'd ever done was an occasional 3 miles. I don't know when things changed. I suppose it's probably like that with any discipline... even spiritual disciplines like prayer, fasting, Bible reading, etc. It takes a long time of doing them, and then one day without even realizing it, it sort of becomes who you are. Seems like lately I have heard from so many people who don't like how their life is... and they don't know how to change it. People don't want to hear that it takes a long-term commitment to the little things. Plus we don't want to change who we are.

Anyway, this post was supposed to just be a log of my running on the treadmill. Not to brag, but someday I may need a reminder that I did this stuff.

Visit to the eye doctor

I finally broke down and went to the eye doctor yesterday. I've been getting headaches, and my eyes always seem strained, and I've been having to look over the top of my glasses to read things... So, yes, I will now be joining the ranks of bi-focal wearers. And geezaroo... they cost a lot more than regular lenses. I won't have the new glasses for probably another week though.

I went in the morning, and I always have them do the whole shebang on me. My dad has had a lot of eye problems so I am a bit paranoid about it. They dilated my pupils and said that's what it will be like when I'm in my sixties. I am not looking forward to that. I got my funky free sunglasses insert, and drove home ok, but then I couldn't read, couldn't work on the computer, couldn't do much of anything until about mid afternoon. And I had a headache. I probably should have gotten a later appointment.

Apparently my distance vision has stayed the same (which means I still can't see anything far away), but my close vision has gotten worse. The doctor said that was normal for "someone my age." Otherwise he said everything looked fine. I had a funny exchange with the girl who did my paperwork. I asked her what my vision was, you know, like "20/20 is supposed to be perfect, so what's mine?" In all seriousness she said mine IS 20/20 ...with my prescription. I kinda smiled to myself and asked what it was without my glasses. She didn't know. I decided to leave it at that.

On a totally unrelated note, it's also a bit weird, because my eye doctor's father actually attends my church... but he doesn't know it. I guess they don't get along, so I've never brought it up.

I've never even looked through bifocals before, so this will be different. He said I might want to put my regular glasses on when doing the treadmill until I get used to the bifocals. Maybe when I drive too. It just depends on how long it will take me to get used to them. Life is so much fun.

So... I guess I'll be "seein' you" around. Hahahahaha....