Then everything would be okay

Any time you begin a sentence with "If they would just...", what you're really saying is: "If everyone would just be like me then everything would be okay." Okay with me at least.

"If those protesters would just..."
"If the police would just..."
"If black people would just..."
"If white people would just..."
"If church people would just..."
"If kids would just..."
"If old people would just..."
"If bosses would just..."
"If workers would just..."
"If the church would just..."

Do you get the idea? If "they" would just be like ME... then my life would be okay. Which is another way of saying my concern is not with your life. It's about me, and my expectations.

I've heard it all my life. My parents were big into guilt tripping me. "Why can't you wear these kind of clothes?" (like theirs). "Why can't you cut your hair this way?" (like theirs). "Why do you have to draw attention to yourself?" "Why can't you be like so-and-so?" It was all a way of saying, 'If I would just be like they wanted me to be (like them), it would be better for... them. I probably did this to my kids too.

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The rub here is that we all have a tendency to view ourselves as "normal." We are the standard by which all others are judged. But what if that's not true? I mean, what was normal before we were born? What will be normal after we die? For a time we think our family is the normal family... until we grow up. Then we think, "Well, my family will be normal." And then our kids grow up and it turns out they're not like us either.

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Can you really imagine what it would be like if everyone were like me though? Wow! Or you!?!

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We all have expectations, don't we? We want people to behave according to our morals and ethic. We want society to operate in line with our worldview. It is difficult to live and let live, I know. It requires us to respect our differences. It requires the humility to admit we may not always be right or know best. Ultimately, it requires a degree of love that goes beyond ourselves. A love for... others.

I have a hard time loving people who are truly 'other' than me. People I don't understand, don't agree with, don't find interesting, and some I even find outright appalling.

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During one of the most intimate moments Jesus had with his disciples... as he's preparing to be captured, beaten, and hung out to die... he shares these words with his dearest friends/followers...

“A new command I give you: Love one another. As I have loved you, so you must love one another. By this everyone will know that you are my disciples, if you love one another.”

 A new command, huh? Yes, a totally new way of looking at things. A new way of looking at... others. One an other. Love them. Not tolerate them. Not try to change them. Certainly not despise them. Love them. One another.

So... if you would just love one another. Oh, wait. If *I* would love them...

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Yesterday I talked with a police officer. He had spent the last 3 nights - into the wee hours of near-sunrise - dressed in riot gear dealing with not only protesters on the streets, but violent individuals doing property damage. 

I have to admit, I have always tended to side with the underdog, the little guy, the oppressed. Honestly, I thought the Fort Wayne police (among others) escalated the protest environment to the point of violent response.

Yet when I talked to this officer he was tired, remorseful, especially humble (he is often not). The first thing he mentioned was how terrible it was that a guy lost an eye and the damage to businesses. He also confirmed my suspicions that there was a difference between a majority of the protestors and the rioters. He talked of how nice it was to finally be able to simply talk with some of the protesters. To listen to them, and let them know that he agreed with what many of them are angry about.

I could have looked at him as forever an "other." We are still very different in many ways. There are still bad cops out there. But perhaps I learned something about myself more than anything. I was wrong, at least about this guy. My opinion was biased. And, you know what... there are likely other things I am wrong about too! Imagine that.

So, I dunno... maybe everything just might be okay after all!