A funny thing happened on my way here

Hope is a hot commodity these days. Everybody wants some...

But more importantly right now... How the heck are you?!? It seems like it's been forever!

Yeah, yeah... I know... It's my fault. I don't even know where to start. We were in Minnesota and Illinois for a little over a week, I was working on rewriting the same sermon into something different every day, it's been hot, I took a long running break - which kind of threw off everything else... You know, some stuff happened. But I still had you in the back of my mind all that time. :)

MINNESOTA

We went to Minnesota June 26-July 2 to help the boy and his wife and son move. They went from a rental house in Minneapolis into their first home-that-they-own (or, the bank, actually) in St. Paul. We drove up on a Thursday - in what turned out to be a 10-hour trip ending in torrential downpours the last couple hours - then rented a Uhaul and moved everything on Friday. From then until we left on Wednesday we 1) got 5 bookshelves and 2 heavy wooden wardrobes at Ikea and put those suckers together. Ugh. They have a lot of books and a king foam mattress all of which went up a tiny, steep staircase! It just about did the two of us in. 2) We also found a used electric mower on marketplace, they bought that, and I spent half of one day mowing over and over and over their lawn that was a little out of control. 3) Then we pretty much just put stuff away and played with the now 9-month-old grandson! Anyway, it was a nice time, and it's a super cute house in a really cozy neighborhood with sidewalks and close to stuff.

BUDA

Wednesday, July 2, we drove the six hours from St. Paul to my mom's house and stayed there until Friday. I did the usual work-around-the-house-and-yard while Jane went over to her brothers house and stayed with him a bit. We did go out to eat with my mom one night in the local watering hole and managed to see several people that we kinda-sorta knew, and several more that my mom was just sure we knew who they were (not). Anyway, we had a nice time but were glad to return home on the 4th of July. The cat was actually happy to see us too! Though the poor little thing was hoarse from meowing so much while we were gone. :(

CARDIOLOGIST

Somewhere along the line Jane has now acquired a cardiologist, and had a couple appointments. She complained to her doctor that her left arm went to sleep now and then, and kind of hurt sometimes. Also, she's had trouble getting back into running - losing her breath so easily. So he referred her to the cardiologist who recommended a CTA stress test with contrast (and something else at the same time but I can't recall the name of it). That test actually showed that her arteries are in good shape - other than there is apparently a 5-5-ish cyst in one of them. They believe that may have been there for some time, and don't think it's a problem, but they're having her do an 'exercise echocardiogram' on a treadmill just to see if that has something to do with the breathing problems. So that's been fun! :/

PREACHING

Oof... I preached at our church gathering this past Sunday. I'd kinda/sorta been preparing for it since late-January-ish... and that is WAY too long to prepare for a single message. Anyway, it went fine (meaning, no one was physically harmed during the process), but it was just one of those totally flat dead-air type days. The entire service just seemed 'off,' the air was unusually warm, and there just seemed a lack of energy about the place. But, whatever, ya know. However, I was reminded of this quote from Bruce Thielemann: "The pulpit calls those anointed to it as the sea calls its sailors. And like the sea it batters and bruises and does not rest. To preach, to really preach, is to die naked a little at a time, and to know each time you do it that you are going to have to do it again." Yep.

MUSIC

This past weekend was a good one for us musically. Summertime in the Fort means 'Rock the Plaza' for us. The local downtown library has free music (with food and drinks) every Saturday during the summer. The time-frame has shrunk considerably over the years (I think it's only 8 or 9 weeks this summer), but we've been doing it since at least 2009, and I believe it started a few years before that. Anyway, this past Saturday was a bit like old times. They had some of the older bands, and there was just a really good vibe in the air. The last of 4 groups was a mix of musicians forming an 8-piece jam band - which we like. They were grooving 'Into The Mystic' (the Van Morrison classic that I walked the daughter down the aisle to), and just as a tear was forming in my eye, the local minor league baseball team's end-of-game fireworks show started! It was a grand way to end the evening the day before I was to preach! Then, like that wasn't enough, Sunday night we had tickets to a concert at the phenomenal Sweetwater Performance Pavillion. The 7pm show started with Yasmin Williams solo, then The Wood Brothers just rocked the house, and ended with St. Paul and the Broken Bones!!! We didn't know it was going to be a 4-hour show, but it was pretty fun if I do say so myself. I was really impressed with The Wood Brothers (our first time seeing them), and especially their drummer who also plays keyboards WHILE drumming! The Broken Bones have blown us away both times we've seen them. It was a fun weekend musically all the way around.

RUNNING

Yeah, so, I haven't really run since the end of May (I think). I've been riding the bike, if anything, and recently started walking more. Last week I did a run/walk thing one day, and again today. I've been nursing my sore left ankle hoping it's not achilles related, and I hope it's on the mend. We'll see. I need to start back into it if I'm going to do another half or four this fall, but the big challenge will be to not start back to fast or hard.

 

So, I guess that's where we're at. I need to get back into this habit - among a couple others - as well. I'll try to do better. 

I hope you've been well! Talk to you later!

Not just another sunday

Yeah, I gave the message for our church community yesterday... and lived to tell about it. It was touch-and-go for awhile.

This is an actual picture taken by a friend of mine - who actually is the pastor of the church that allows our church to rent space in their building! Their service is done before we start, and this was the first time I'd seen him sneak into one of our services (we are on the third floor of their huge building, in a space that wasn't being used). I was glad to see him, and am actually kind of glad he took this pic if I'm honest (plus I wanted to use the word "actually" once more). 

Everything was mostly fine during the sermon, but as mentioned the other day, I had to bartend for a concert the night before. That seems to really tire me out anymore. Plus, what I intended to be just one glass of wine towards the end of the night ended up being a few more. The band ('Bayou County') was a pretty good Creedance Clearwater Revival tribute band, and they were having loads of fun and just kept playing and playing. The crowd was fairly small (100-some), but as is often the case, smaller crowds can be a bit more fun and a little rowdy. And when the guitar player asked if he could have one more beer at the end of the evening - I hated to make him drink alone. So... that happened.

Anyway, I wasn't feeling the greatest Sunday morning. One thing about not drinking much anymore - it really messes with your perceived tolerance level. But I was fine by the time church started at 11. 

My main text was John 15:5: "I am the vine; you are the branches. If you remain in me and I in you, you will bear much fruit..." I purposely left off the last part ("...apart from me you can do nothing") because I wanted to emphasize the 'connecting with Jesus' part. I approached the 'not being connected' differently in the message.

Basically I talked about the practice of Solitude (staying connected to the Vine) and its place in friendships/relationships. My main point was: Sometimes we need to get away (time alone with God) in order to get better connected with others. It was right about the 30 minutes it was supposed to be, and even though I got a little flustered at the end and left some stuff out, I felt what I added at the end left a better impression. All told, it went okay.

This was the second time I've "preached" at our current church. I don't know what it is, but it just feels different here. I can't believe I'm going to say this, but I actually kind of enjoyed myself yesterday. Everyone stays so engaged while listening, and I've yet to witness any judging or critical spirits. There were many compliments afterward - which is a bit hard for me to deal with, but I guess it beats the opposite. So, today I'm trying to do my best to put it out of my head and not get caught up in any emotions one way or the other. I will also say, the main pastor does a really good job of encouraging, providing just the right amount of input and feedback, and just sort of 'being there' throughout the whole process of preparation, delivery, and follow-up. He really helps. It also doesn't hurt that I can wear shorts and a t-shirt and nobody bats an eye! :)

Now... it's time to put away the piles of used and unused notes and books and things... and dig into the rest of my 'to do' list. I'm also diving deeply into Fitch's book on power before the two-day event with him coming to town. And... I hope to start on another sermon soon. I'd like to be able to just sort of have one in my pocket in case there is ever an emergency sickness or something and they need a last-minute sub. It's been awhile since I've felt this good about being in front of people in any respect (preaching, public speaking, whatever).

Right now I'm debating whether to do my scheduled run, mow the lawn, make a trip to the store... or try to recharge my almost-completely drained body battery...

Here's the Youtube link to the message (about 30 minutes): https://youtu.be/VdW_0QkZUVo?si=83odTCMICqP2qT18

I "preached" a sermon in a church

Well, it finally happened. I agreed to give the message at a church gathering again. I used quotation marks around "preach" because it wasn't really preaching as I think of old school preaching. At our present church (Canvas Community) we tend to think of it more as "painting a picture," or "sharing your heart," or simply offering something you think will be worthwhile for others to hear in their faith journey. So, I did that.

To be fair, it really was a "sermon" as far as I'm concerned (and probably most everyone else there). It's just that most people who are part of our church don't think of "church" or "the Sunday service" or anything like that the same way most church folk might. There's a levity to how things are done, though of a serious nature.

So, I spoke on what it's like to stumble and fall (using DC Talk's 'What If I Stumble' as the title). I directed us to Judas and Peter and their betrayal of Jesus story, and then Jesus's restoration of Peter to ministry. I sited Matthew 27, Mark 14 & 16, and John 20 & 21, including N.T. Wright's analysis of John 21:15-19 in my old copy of John for Everyone, Part 2. I shared this piece from Wright: 

Here is the secret of all Christian ministry, yours and mine, lay and ordained, full-time or part-time. It’s the secret of everything from being a quiet, back-row member to being a platform speaker. If you are going to do any single solitary thing as a follower and servant of Jesus, this is what it’s built on. Somewhere, deep down inside, there is a love for Jesus, and though you think you’ve let him down plenty, he wants you to find that love, to give you a chance to express it, to heal the hurts and failures of the past, and give you new work to do.

These are not things for you to do to ‘earn’ forgiveness. Nothing can ever do that. It is grace from start to finish. They are things to do out of the joy and relief that you already ARE forgiven…

 I also used this quote from Rich Villodas:

This is the Story of scripture in four phrases, repeated throughout its pages:

-         I love you

-         I am with you

-         Don’t be afraid

-         You can come home

I closed by continuing Jesus's riff to Peter asking him, "Do you love me?" by including the exercise I do with this meditation CD and how it's sometimes difficult for me to accept Jesus' love, but if I can let my guard down enough (by hearing him say he loves me), hopefully I can come to a place where I can say, "I love you too" to Jesus too.

Anyway, it is supposed to be included in the message library on the website at some point. I doubt that I will ever watch it (though I know I should). I just can't stand my voice or to see how silly I look.

All in all, I guess it went okay. It took me eleven drafts (which Jane read most of), ended up about 10 double-spaced pages of size 14 font, and was hopefully around ~30 minutes long.

---

I've been asked to speak plenty since leaving full-time ministry 10 1/2 years ago. I did speak at our "home" church in Illinois once - maybe seven years ago or so. It went so horribly that I didn't really think I would ever do it again.

This place is different though. I really like the pastor. Not that he's perfect, and we're not very much alike, but he has such a good soul. He's a combination of naive, overly authentic, and positive, but also deeply contemplative and artistic. The gatherings also remind me of the church we helped launch while in Ohio.

I've probably had this message idea gnawing at me for a number of years. I am fascinated by the scene of both Judas and Peter's betrayals of Jesus, and more so by his response. They're such a beautiful picture of God's love for us not BECAUSE of what we do or who we are, but in spite of it. If God IS love, then he can't do anything else regardless of who we are or what we do.

Oddly enough, I've started re-reading James Bryan Smith's 'An Arrow Pointing to Heaven' about the life of Rich Mullins, and while I drew on it quite a bit, I ended up not even using any quotes from it (I just realized that). It is such a good book, and I'm glad I have started reading it again.

As far as how I felt... I was plenty nervous, and my hands shook through the entire message. However I was much calmer than I anticipated. It just felt "right" in this time and place. I shared a lot of what I consider fairly intimate details about my own struggles, and it was almost freeing in some ways.

Of course I've had moments of "I can't believe I shared that" already since then, but I'm trying to resist listening to those thoughts. It is what it is, and it feels very Rich Mullin-ish to have done so. So overall I don't have any regrets about that.

Naturally, as with almost every message I've ever shared in a church, there was so much more I wish I could have included. I'd forgotten how cutting things out is much more difficult than finding things to say.

So, I guess I did it. It seems a bit surreal still and hasn't really sunk in. We'll see if I'm ever asked to speak again, and how I react from here on out. But I feel like it's put me in a fairly good place right now. I think reading the book about RM has a lot to do with that. We'll see...

Become a better public speaker

"The most satisfying lives are those which involve challenge, fear and struggle."

So says psychologist Paul Bloom. I would probably have to agree - even if based solely on my relationship with public speaking.

After speaking (preaching) in churches and other places for 14+ years, I have been absolutely horrified at the thought of standing in front of people for the past 8 or 9 since then. However, I must confess, I am starting to kind of miss it. So much so that I've been thinking of getting in a Toastmasters club.

I don't know if I could "preach" again or not... but I feel like there's a bit of extrovert trying to claw its way out in some way.

Anyway, I happened across this great little article by Ted Gioia at The Honest Broker, "My 10 Rules for Public Speaking." I thought it was pretty good, and I hope I can remember to read it again if I ever speak in front of people again.

The 10 rules by themselves don't do it justice (read his post), but here they are:

1. The Podium is Death
2. Invade the Audience's Space
3. Embrace Sponaneity - Even (or Especially) If It Seems Risky
4. Remember That The Audience Always Wants You To Succeed
5. Don't Be Afraid of Humor, or Even Silly Jokes
6. You Really Don't Need Slides, and if you insist on using them you must deal with the consequences
7. Tap Into Your Own Craziness
8. Don't Be Shy About Giving Your Roadmap To The Audience
9. Pay attention to other speakers, and steal all their best techniques
10. Be A Rock Star and Savor the Moment

One of the best lines was under rule #9, "By the way, the three best kinds of speakers to study are comedians, preachers, and TV wrestlers. Politicians are surprisingly bad at this kind of stuff." Haha.

So, if you are a public speaker, or want/need to get better, I suggest giving Ted's 10 tips a try!

***

 Ephesians 4:29

"Let no corrupting talk come out of your mouths, but only such as is good for building up, as fits the occasion, that it may give grace to those who hear."

 

Invitation and challenge

I've been thinking about this Invitation & Challenge matrix lately. I first stumbled onto it some years ago - probably through 3dm - but the best description I know of comes from Ben Sternke in his "Making Disciples" series.

As Ben says in his post, "How I Make Disciples: Invitation & Challenge,"

Invitation refers to an attitude that says, “I’m glad you are here, I’m committed to you and will welcome you no matter what.” Challenge refers to an attitude that says, “I want you to grow, I’m committed to holding you accountable to change for the better.”

It's not a very long article and the series itself is so well put together that I highly recommend it. And, while Ben is speaking specifically to the work of making disciples, I believe it has application far and wide.

What initially reminded me of this was a discussion with my pastor about our church culture. It was then magnified (to me) by the first preaching team meeting we had. I haven't said anything yet, but finally decided to refresh my memory with the above chart.

It somewhat blew my mind, because in our discussion of culture, we both agreed (well, at least he agreed with my take) that there is a pretty "cozy" culture in our group. People tend to feel comfortable coming to our church gatherings, but that's usually all the farther they go. So when I saw the top left quadrant - High Invitation/Low Challenge - I almost laughed out loud. That is EXACTLY how our pastor is!

Then, when we had our first preaching team meeting, I was a little frustrated by the discussion. It was slanted WAYYYYY to the invitation side. To the point that "invitation" was actually used as a synonym for "proclamation (and what our preaching is to be about), and there was no mention of "challenge" whatsoever.

Now, as a "challenge" sort of person, this caused me to think all sorts of things. You know, the stifling of my prophetic voice, an insufficient (false) gospel, quenching the spirit, so on and so forth. I don't really feel it is intentionally any of those things. I think/hope it is just that he leans way to the invitation side, and I to the opposite extreme in challenge.

I suppose it's also possible that we feel differently about preaching in general. His take is that it should be nothing but proclaiming the gospel. I don't disagree, but I think my understanding of it is a little different. I believe proclaiming can/does include teaching, and also includes challenging people to be different and better. In other words, I believe preaching/teaching to be the same, and both should include discipling at the core. You can't merely proclaim the gospel to people in one moment, then disciple them at another time. It's all the same thing to me. At least I think so.

At any rate, I also need to remind myself often of what Sternke points out at the end of his post on invitation/challenge:

"If you want to make disciples, you’ll have to learn to do intentionally that which you’re not good at naturally. Those who are natural “inviters” need to learn to bring challenge. They’ll need to learn to push harder than they’re comfortable with. They’ll need to learn to hold others accountable for taking action in the kingdom. Those who are natural “challengers” need to learn to be inviting and warm. They’ll need to learn to have meetings with no clear agenda, just enjoying the company of others. They’ll need to learn to affirm and encourage those they’re discipling... when you feel like you are leaning into that which you’re not comfortable with way too much, you’re probably almost there. “Challengers” will feel like they are being overly-mushy and sentimental when they’re actually calibrating an almost-appropriate amount of invitation. “Inviters” will feel like they are being harsh task-masters when they’re actually calibrating an almost-appropriate amount of challenge."

 So, just some stuff simmerin' in my brain today. Good stuff, at that!

Monday morning miniscules

I think every day last week I was going to post some sort of "tidbits" type thing. Wednesday Words, Thursday Thoughts, Friday Fragments, etc... I made it back around to Monday, so I guess it's 'miniscules.' I think that's a proper term for "mini thoughts." Either which way, that's about all I can seem to muster at the moment.

• I don't know how it is I seem so busy anymore. I mean, I feel like I'm doing nothing with my life, yet I seem busier than I've ever been. It makes no sense.

• I suppose the summer baseball schedule doesn't help. At least the minor league season is almost half over. The middle of June will mark 35 of the 70 home games scheduled. I still do enjoy working the parking lot. It's dealing with volunteers, staff, and the money that are the difficult parts for me.

• My marathon training started last week. I follow an 18-week program of 4 days running per week. Last week was 3 miles on Tuesday and Thursday, 5 miles on Wednesday, and 8 miles Saturday. This week will be the same but I add a mile on Saturday.

• I feel good except I can't seem to shake the blister on my right foot. I had it in the same exact spot last year and I just can't pinpoint what's causing it. It's between the ball of my foot and my big toe. It doesn't really hurt or anything, but it's annoying and takes time to "deal with" every day. This weekend I ordered some of those "toe socks" that I will wear for my long runs at least.

• Another thing I've become involved in is the 'preaching team' at church. I think there are 6 of us (including the pastor). One thing I'd been encouraging the pastor to do was to preach less on Sunday mornings. He already knew he should, but it's one of those things he enjoys, and I think it's maybe hard for him to let other people do it. So it may be a big step for everyone involved. Anyway, about every 5th week or so one of the other of us will preach that Sunday. There are 4 men and 2 women, and all of us have experience with public speaking, and all the men have served as pastors at some point. It will be interesting, but I'm not overly confident in it ever coming to fruition. We'll see.

• On a completely different note... one morning last week I mistakenly woke up at 2:45 a.m. and thought it was 3:45. My alarm goes off at 3:50 a.m., and I will often wake up just before. I thought that's what happened. Just as I was leaving for work I checked the calendar on my phone and it said I was to be at work in an hour and a half. I was like, "what?!" Sure enough, it was only 3:30, instead of 4:30. It's really hard to take an hour nap at 3:30 in the morning after getting yourself ready to GO. Anyway, I sat on the couch with the cat and maybe got in a 10-minute "cat nap."

•  I am writing this at work on a Monday morning and I was just interrupted by several people wanting to chat. One is the bike mechanic across from me who has traveled the world and leads an interesting life, and the other two are members who come to the Y to work out. Anyway, for as much as I get discouraged by my boss, I actually really like working here. It allows me to rub shoulders with some quite interesting characters. Of course, I'm sure I will want to quit by the end of the day...

•  I almost forgot that Jane and Carrie (and the kids) went back to Illinois this past weekend to visit my parents. They both ran in the 1st ever 5k in Buda, and Jane was actually the first woman finisher! She said it was the most difficult 5k she'd ever run due to hills and a few logistical elements, and she wasn't very happy with her time. But still... she won!

I suppose I could go on for some time now that I've actually taken the time to write. That's the way it goes, and why I need to be better about forcing something out on a more regular basis again. We'll see. Now I should probably do some work... so here's a thought I've been pondering since Friday:

"To doubt everything or to believe everything are two equally convenient solutions; both dispense with the necessity of reflection." - Henri Poincare

Loglines and elevators

The other day I read this article 'The Art  of the Elevator Pitch,' and it really inspired me to improve as a communicator, whether writing or speaking. It was simple, concise, and informative... just how I would like to be.

The title likely caught my eye because we used to talk about the importance of the elevator pitch when I was taking leadership coaching classes. I was happy for the reminder and reinforcement of its value.

This particular article is mostly about how to get investors to listen to your idea, but it could be applied to just about anything. My mind actually drifted toward preaching - or at least public speaking - even though I don't really do it. I suppose this would work for everyday conversation as well. As the author says regarding your pitch,

"If you can answer in one compelling sentence, you can hook your audience... the human brain craves meaning before details. When a listener doesn’t understand the overarching idea being presented in a pitch, they have a hard time digesting the information. A logline will help you paint the big picture for your audience."

The three steps they recommend for a good logline are:

1. Keep it short
2. Identify one thing you want your audience to remember
3. Make sure your team is on the same page

The former pastor of our current church still preaches occasionally. He likes to start out with what he calls a "sermon sentence." He tells us what he's talking about in one sentence because, as he says, in case he gets off track he wants us to at least know what he intended to talk about. :)

I think this is important whether writing or speaking. It seems a lot of people say a lot of stuff, and so much of it seems unnecessary or people don't pay attention to it. It is definitely something I need to work on, and hopefully will. Because talking without communicating is pretty useless.

A hypocrite's oath

I think I've discovered the reason for my current funk. I am a hypocrite. And I do not want to preach again until I can do so with a clear conscience.

The loosest definition of a hypocrite is - a person whose actions do not line up with their words. It seems to me that is part of why I struggled so much with the recent sermon. It's not necessarily that I don't believe what I said, but I can't say for sure that I do, nor do my actions necessarily follow those I was encouraging others to take.

This seemed to make so much more sense in my head, but I don't think my hypocrisy has to do with my belief in God. It has more to do with NOT KNOWING what I believe about God. There are many things I WANT to believe; many things I HAVE believed; many things I would like to SAY I do believe... but to be perfectly honest... I'm just not sure at all what I believe anymore. Again, this is not to say I have lost my faith or do not believe in God... I have simply lost faith in what *I* know. And I don't feel comfortable preaching about things I'm not sure of. I doubt that anyone wants to hear someone preach their doubts.

Although, there is this great story Mike Yaconelli shared in his book "Messy Spirituality" (p.94-95):

"Years ago I heard an extraordinary story. I hope it’s true. The pastor of a church in England announced to his congregation one Sunday that he was resigning because he no longer believed in Christianity. Stunned at first, the congregation gathered its composure, and the elders asked the pastor to meet with the congregation after the service. Everyone knew what was going to happen. His resignation would be accepted, financial arrangements would be made, and the search for a new pastor would begin.

But that’s not what happened. The elders stood before the pastor and said, “Sir, we understand you have come to the painful conclusion that Christianity is not true. We believe it IS true. In fact, we’re so convinced it is true, we want you to stay on as our pastor. We want you to stand up each Sunday and preach your doubts to us. It’s okay. We want to hear them, not so we can argue with you but so this can be a place where you can honestly seek the truth.”

For three years, the pastor preached his doubts, and one morning he stood in the pulpit, looked out at the congregation with his eyes full of tears, and said, “I have found my faith again. Thank you for trusting the gospel; thank you for waiting for me to find my faith again!”

This pastor was stuck, burned out, lost, sinking in the quicksand of doubt, and his church recognized his stuckness! His congregation recognized that being stuck was a necessary stopping place where he could regroup, regain his strength, and move on. An extraordinary congregation of ordinary people understood their pastor’s need to wrestle with the truth. Instead of talking about truth, they TRUSTED the truth. They did not fear the waiting, nor did they fret over the “setbacks” they would have to endure when visitors came.

When the doubting pastor finally proclaimed his found-again faith, deep in his heart he must have whispered to God in gratitude, “Jesus has been hiding in these people all along.”"

I love that story. I, too, have no idea if it is true or not. I'd like to hope it is, but I doubt it. Anyway, it's one thing for a congregation to support their pastor in such a time, and another entirely for a wayward former pastor to do so in unsuspecting places. So, that's why today I am setting forth this oath to not preach again until I can truly believe what I am preaching, and preach it from a place of practice.

Part 2 -

This is what I think happened last week. I prepared the sermon, and I think I believed it when I was preparing it, but my week was such that I found myself acting in a way that totally belied the things I was saying. I just couldn't cope with work and even ended up having to take Friday off as a sort of "mental health day." I am aware there is an enemy at work who would like to freak me out about this, and maybe that's what it is, but I think there is more going on from the "good" side too.

Yesterday I started reading Henri Nouwen's great little book "Life of the Beloved." Right off the bat he talks of developing a friendship with a young reporter he recognized was completely miserable in his job. Nouwen writes, "He looked to me like a prisoner locked behind the bars of a society forcing him to work at something in which he didn't believe." OUCH!! I thought it crazily coincidental that I read that then.

I think a lot of my frustration - and it is MY frustration; no one else is to blame - comes from the fact that I have been laboring in a job I don't believe in. And it's not the work itself, but what I'm being asked to do (or maybe it's how I'm being asked to do it).

So, I feel like I am being hit from both sides. It may be that it's time to step out of the way. I don't know... but I do know that I don't like feeling like a hypocrite - whether it's preaching or renting storage units either one.

Caleb's birthday and preaching again

Caleb is the youngest of our grandchildren. He turned 3 this past Saturday. We were all in Illinois for the weekend so we had a party there. He is pretty special.

This boy is the definition of a character. He can be very sweet, serious, and goofy almost simultaneously and takes life pretty well in stride. He is very content to play with cars or games by himself, and has very little if any fear. He really is a fun kid to be around. He is also out of diapers now, so he is growing up.

We were all staying at my parents house and arrived Friday night. Before he got out of bed Saturday we put up a few decorations. After everyone was good and awake we then let him open presents. Saturday afternoon we all went over to Tim and Elizabeth's for a little party. My parents also went, as well as Jane's brother Mark and his wife (who is also Tim's dad). We had cake and pie and the kids all played and played and played. Eventually we ordered pizza for supper. It was fun.

--------

I also preached Sunday at our "home" church. It was one week shy of being 4 years exactly since I last preached in a church. It went..... okay.

You know how they say that if you get bucked off a horse you need to get right back on or you'll never do it again? Well, I may have waited too long. I was so stressed out during the preaching time I didn't think it was ever going to end. I kept thinking I would get over it once I got going but it didn't happen. I missed cues I'd written in my manuscript; my timing and inflection were off. I'm sure it didn't look as bad as it felt (or maybe it did), but it completely drained me. I was not expecting that.

Actually, I was more worried beforehand that I wasn't nervous at all. In fact, I quite enjoyed preparing the message and the few times I went through it by myself. But, man, Sunday morning I was a bundle of nerves. I did not like that, and I'm not sure how I feel about ever doing it again. I will most definitely have to do some major "dying-to-self" if it is going to happen.

It might not have been the best idea for my first sermon back to be at my home church. I'd actually never preached in this building. There are a ton of people I don't recognize there now, but it was comforting to see some friendly faces.

As for the sermon itself, I used Matthew 5:1-12 for the text. The title was "Living Blessed." I do not think there is any audio/video evidence (which is fine by me).

Anyway, this experience did not do my confidence any good. My gut is still in knots. Of course, it's difficult to tell how much of it was the preaching and how much has to do with simply hating where I work at the moment. Last week was another of those weeks where I almost just walked off the job. I'm not sure how much more of THAT I can handle either.

So, I went from feeling like a worthless old man at work to feeling like a worthless fool at preaching. I would not call it a good weekend other than it was a great birthday party and we did have fun seeing family and friends.

Me and the kids at Tim & Elizabeths.

Preaching again

So.... I agreed to preach a sermon in a church again. It's not until the end of April. And it's at our church back home - where my parents attend. Ironically, the pastor is taking a sabbatical this Spring and is looking to fill the pulpit with different people each week. I called him today to confirm the date (he texted me Sunday to see if I would) and I told him I hope his sabbatical turns out better than mine. :)

I suppose I've been warming to the idea of preaching lately. This coming May will be four years since I've done it, and I can't really say that I've missed it at all. I really do enjoy listening to others preach/teach. It's still not something I really want to do, but I have been feeling the need to participate somehow lately. I have admittedly not been living up to my calling.

I have been asked two other times to fill in for people and have declined. They were both fairly soon after I was canned. I think the big difference now is that this was my home church asking. This is the church where Jane grew up and spent her whole life until we moved away. We were married in this church. Saved in this church (if you will). Baptized there. Discipled there. And they actually paid for part of my seminary education. Yet this is the FIRST TIME they have ever asked me to preach there. So while I didn't feel obligated, I did feel like maybe this was part of some divine plan. Who knows.

Of course I was pretty excited about it until I went and posted something on Facebook. I'd been thinking about what text I would use and things, but then as more and more people commented on my post... I started to get a little nervous. I greatly appreciated the encouragement, don't get me wrong, but I'm not sure I am ready to jump back in with both feet just yet. I don't know that I EVER want to do it full-time again. I do feel like it's a significant step though. Towards what I do not know.

So, I feel kind of weird. I'm a little scared, but I'm a little excited too. Honestly, I would like to be able to have a couple sermons on hand so I could fill in at the church we attend, as well as at a couple friends churches if they need someone last-minute. I kind of feel like that's where we're at right now - at a place to help out some pastor friends.

Right away I planned to preach from the Beatitudes. I've been reading and studying that lately, and we've been going through it at our church. I love the text. I was kind of hoping I had an old sermon from that text, but I can't seem to find one. I'm sure I've preached on it AT LEAST once over a fourteen year period, but I don't have all my sermons saved on computer. So I will probably just write something new. Although I have thought of checking the lectionary texts for that day too. I think if - and it's a big IF - I ever pastored a church again, or preached on a regular basis, I would just read the lectionary texts each Sunday, and forget trying to write sermons. Trust the text, you know.

Anyway, so that's what's happening with that. I do not feel "worthy" to preach again, but I also do not feel any pressure either. I don't intend to rely on my creativity, but simply trust in the Word. At least I want to try to.

Super bowl sunday 2017

So the New England Patriots beat the Atlanta Falcons 34-28 in OT in Super Bowl LI (51). Whether it was the greatest comeback or greatest choke-job in Super Bowl history is a matter of opinion. I suppose it was an exciting game, but as for me, it ranks just a few rungs lower than the morning after Trump won the presidential election this past year. I'm not sure how many more times I can say, "No. There's no way it can happen," and then it does (re: the Patriots and Trump both winning). But, alas, I suppose life will go on.

This particular Super Bowl Sunday wasn't all bad though. We started it off with three little munchkins known as our grandchildren spending the night Saturday. They all slept pretty well considering they all had colds and coughs to some degree.

Sunday morning we all woke up slowly and waited for their mom and dad to come over. We took Carrie and Anna to church with us, and the others had a "boys day" because of the runny noses (B & C). Church was a little different because the regular pastor was gone (his wife's grandfather's funeral in PA), but it was actually a surprisingly good service. Sunny led worship and we did an old hymn (How Great Thou Art). Btw, I don't know why more churches don't sing hymns anymore, because it seems like people sing out way more when they do. Anyway, then the founding pastor gave the message. He is retired now, and went way over on time, and it was obvious he was nervous and whatnot. However, in an odd sort of way I felt like the Spirit was really moving in the place on this particular day. I can't really explain it but it made more sense later on. I actually picked up a membership application for us after the service.

After church we dropped C & A off at the bar where they'd left their car the night before (Drew's band played there Saturday night). Jane and I then went to the Hoppy Gnome for lunch. It is not my favorite place - a little too hipstery for me - but it was okay. While there I got a message from the pastor at our home church back in Illinois. He said he is taking a sabbatical this spring and wondered if I could preach one Sunday. It was ironic in that I had actually just been thinking during the service that morning that I might be open to preaching again, plus the fact that I would be filling in during a pastors sabbatical (you know, 'cause of my history with failed sabbaticals - at least my own). So, I accepted the invitation before I'd had too much of a chance to think about it. I have no idea how to prepare a sermon anymore though. It's been almost four years since my last one.

Anyway, I took a nice nap in the afternoon, then we went over to Drew Carrie's for the Super Bowl and supper. We had taco's-in-a-bag and hung out with the grandkids until they fell asleep. Scott from the Y came over later. We had a good time until the end of the game. Fortunately I think I'd had enough of Scott's scotch that I didn't get too emotionally high or low, and we went home.

Oh, and as far as the halftime show... I'm not a big fan of Lady Gaga, but I also don't dislike her, so I actually thought it was fairly vanilla as far as music. I'm sure I am well beyond the age of the target audience though, so I wasn't disappointed or excited. It happened. :)

So, while the game didn't turn out like I'd hoped, it wasn't a bad Super Bowl Sunday.

Authority in preaching/teaching

Lately I've been thinking about the place of authority in preaching and/or teaching. I have the opportunity to hear a variety of speakers at our Sunday worship gatherings, as well as other places. I am certainly not trying to knock anyone - we all have different styles - and I was never what I would consider a great speaker either. However, in my opinion...

...speaking "AS" an authority seems to be completely different than speaking "FROM A PLACE OF" authority.

I recently heard a sermon that, while it sounded good, and a lot of people thought it was really good, I was a little more... skeptical (see, I'm not just cynical). The speaker shared biblical references, but then he seemed to back up - or prove - all of his points from his own life. In a seemingly subtle way I felt like he was claiming the events of his life as the authority behind the truth of Scripture. I sense this now and then. People speak as an authority because they have lived out a biblical truth.

Now, it may be true that no one is more of an authority on their own life then themselves. However, I'd like to think that Scripture is Truth APART from our life experience. Yes, you may have life experiences that illustrate biblical truth, but that is not what deems it truth.

One thing I'd like to think I learned as I matured in my preaching was that it's easy to sound like an authority when everything is going well in your life. It's another thing to preach from a place of humility when nothing seems to be working out (in a worldly manner anyway). The truth of Scripture should not be diminished by our LACK of experience anymore than personal experience proves it.

Not to pick on young people, because they certainly aren't the only ones who do it, but I wish someone had figured out a way how to teach me sooner rather than later how to better handle the authority of Scripture. How to see IT as the authority, rather than myself. How foolish it is to think I "have it figured out," only to discover later that maybe I didn't have a clue what I was talking about.

Anyway, I guess my point is, I sense a trend among some young-ish preachers/teachers who seem to believe their lives hold the authority with which to preach (ie. being a preacher gives them some kind of authority), rather than what I believe is a healthier respect for the authority of God's Word itself. It makes no difference if I understand it or am able to follow it. It is what it is, so to speak.

I dunno, maybe it comes down to trusting the Holy Spirit; or trusting Its ability to read us, rather than our ability to read it. Meh... whatever.

Two years since preaching

It was two years ago from this past Sunday that I preached my last sermon. I had a wedding the night before, and preached my last one the first Sunday in May. I had absolutely no idea that would be it.

I've said this before, but I always used to worry that it would be hard for me to listen to other people preach. That hasn't been the case at all. I hardly ever listen to anyone else and think, "I wish I were preaching right now." I do miss it. I miss the feeling of being able to. I just can't picture myself doing it though. It's like I was a completely different person then. Ugh.

So... it's been two full years. A very strange feeling, indeed.

I don't know nothin' and a recovering racist

There are a couple pieces I want to point to regarding the whole race/ferguson/police thing. I've been hesitant to discuss it much, but that doesn't mean I haven't been thinking about it. I am not usually so restrained in my opinions. Maybe I'm maturing. Or afraid. I don't know, but I am learning that anybody can have an opinion; it's another thing entirely to have something worthwhile to say.

The following two posts really stuck with me. The first I saw on Fitch's blog, and the second is from a guy who actually grew up in the same small Illinois town of 400 people as I did. He lived down the street.

David Whited wrote the following, and I'm just going to put the whole thing on here.

One night in high school youth group, my youth pastor told us a story about the first time he was invited to preach at a historically black church in our hometown in Arkansas. My youth pastor had just graduated from seminary and was feeling pretty good about all of the stuff that he learned there, so when the invitation came, he thought he’d preach on a subject he felt would relate to the people he was preaching to.

The topic he chose for that Sunday’s message? Suffering.

My youth pastor told us about how he got up to the pulpit on that bright Sunday morning and preached his heart out. He was shocked by how the shouts from the congregation made him a better preacher than he had ever been in a white church. He was convinced things had gone really well, so he was really excited to see one of the men he had identified as an elder in the congregation start to move toward him to shake his hand at the end of the service.

As the old man made his way to shake his hand, the young preacher indulged in some quick fantasies about the assessment he was about to receive. He was pretty sure that the elder was going to tell him he was surprised that a young white man could “bring it like that”.

Instead, the old man reached out to shake my youth pastor’s hand and gave him exactly one sentence of feedback. He said, “Boy… you don’t know nothin’.”

Ever since the night I heard that story while sitting cross-legged on the floor in the youth room at my church, I have tried to take that elder’s simple remark as my starting point in any conversation I engage in around topics of race, difference, or marginalization. It’s true. I don’t know nothin’. That’s why I need to listen long before I speak and learn before I make a judgment. I’m not naturally good at either one of those things, but because of that old man’s rebuke (and the humility of my youth pastor), I know I have to try.

I pray for all the people of Ferguson tonight and offer up this confession before so much violence and fear:

It’s true. I don’t know nothin’.

 I would like to include the entire post for the second one too, but this is long enough already, so here is the link to Joshua Throneburg's "Thoughts From A Recovering Racist." He starts out, "I grew up white, not just in the color of my skin, but in the culture of my youth..." It's good stuff. Worth clicking through to read.

I thought it would be different

When I was preaching every week, one thing that was always a concern in the back of my mind was... when the time came that I wasn't preaching, would I be able to sit and listen to someone else? I was afraid it might be difficult for me; that I would listen with a critical ear; or, worse yet, that I would constantly be comparing my preaching to theirs ("I wouldn't have said that," or "why didn't they mention this?", etc., etc.). I have to say, though, that I have been quite content with listening and learning. I actually don't miss preaching at all. I thought I would. In reality, it is quite refreshing to listen to and learn from others - and sometimes from people who aren't all that good at teaching/preaching. I truly believe we can learn something from anyone though, and for now anyway, I am very comfortable doing that.

So it got me to thinking this past weekend, as I listened to a preacher I'd never heard before - was I 'out of position' all those 14 years that I preached on a weekly basis? I certainly used to like to preach. I liked researching, writing, and crafting sermons. It was invigorating. I was not a super communicator like some people, but I think I was okay. I don't think it was forced at all. I even vaguely remember feeling that it was exactly what I was born to do - especially in a small church. So maybe it was just one of those things that I was supposed to do for a time, and now my time is up. Or maybe I wasn't really that good at it and I never knew. Or, perhaps, like my counselor said, I was simply burned out and needed a break. I have to wonder, had things not ended the way they did - with a group of leaders who seemed intent on completely humiliating me as a pastor and a person - maybe I would want to preach again. But I don't. I know that could change, especially if I ever get over the hurt and pain, but for now I really like listening and learning. And I'm glad that I do... because I can't imagine ever being able to preach again.

5 myths of introverted pastors

Ministry Best Practices pointed me to this article on 5 Myths of Introverted Pastors at ProPreacher.com. I thought it was most excellent, and right on the mark. Not only am I pretty introverted, but I am also very shy. I was glad to see them point out the difference between the two. There is also a very good TED talk on being introverted in general (not just pastors) if you follow the link and read the full article.

I didn't want to copy and paste the entire thing, but I did copy the bulk of it - because it's that good. So the rest of this post is word-for-word from their article...

5 Myths of Introverted Pastors

1. You are either an introvert or an extrovert.

Wrong. There is no such thing as somebody who is all introvert, or all extrovert. There are introverts who enjoy the occasional big party and extroverts who like to get alone with a good book.
Some introverts are more introverted than others. So the question isn’t “are you an introvert,” but “how introverted are you?
TIP: Rank your level of introversion on a scale of 1 to 10. (1 meaning, “Silence is nice,” and 10 being “Human interaction scares me!”) How introverted are you? I would put myself at a solid 5. Doing this is important, because when you understand how you are wired, you can focus on your strengths and lean on others to help with weaknesses.

2. Introverts are socially awkward.

True… sometimes. Some introverts are awkward. But I have also met awkward extroverts that can’t keep their mouth shut and share way too much information.
Introverts are not necessarily bad in social situations. Social events simply de-energize them. As a result, introverts have to work harder to be good socially.
TIP: Before big social events, prep yourself. Make a list of questions you might want to ask people. How was your week? What are your plans this summer? How are you kids? How is the wife? Did you watch the game?
This trick has been a huge help for me. Every week I make a list of 10 questions to help me not stand in awkward silence because I cannot think of anything to say. You can laugh at me for it, but it helps. Give it a shot.

3. Introverts make bad preachers.

False. Introverts actually make up some of the best preachers. Extroverts are tempted to wing it more. Introverts will naturally be more studied, planned, and calculated in their approach.
Early on in ministry an extrovert will seem more comfortable and more of a natural on stage. But if an introvert works hard to manage stage fright and let their personality show, they become a double threat. Good stage presence and well prepared.
Besides, many well-known preachers admit to being introverts.
TIP: Stage fright is normal. Don’t let it get the best of you. The more you preach, the better you will get. But you may have to practice letting go. Loosen up on stage. Practice gestures and eye contact. Internalize your message so you aren’t chained to a script.
Being an introvert is not an excuse for being stiff and boring. You just have to work harder.

4. Introverts are bad at making disciples.

False. Introverts may not have as large a network of “friends,” but they are often better at one-on-one relationships. They may not personally disciple as many people, but the ones they do disciple will be deeper.
TIP: Follow Jesus’ model. Pour your life into deep relationships with a few disciples. Then, release them to impact others.

5. Introverts don’t love people.

Wrong again. Introverts often have extremely deep and loving relationships. But their relational circles are usually smaller, and because they are not as outgoing they can be mistaken as uncaring (often by extroverts who don’t get introverts).
An Introverts capacity for people they can fully invest in is lower. But, as mentioned above, their relationships with their close circle are deeper, and not as superficial as some extroverts could be accused of.
TIP: Find ways to show people you care. You cannot have the deep one-on-one relationships that you desire with everyone. Find other ways to express pastoral love. Visit people in the hospital. Send cards on birthdays and anniversaries. Write thank you notes like crazy. Memorize names. It’s little things like these that make a big difference.

6. (Bonus myth) Introverts are shy.

Being introverted and being shy are two completely different things. Being shy is worrying too much about the opinions of others. Being an introvert is a personality type that is energized by solitude and reflection.
If you struggle with shyness, you have fear of man issues. You put more stock in what people think than what God thinks. (Confession: I struggle with this all the time!)
TIP: Read Galatians 1:10, Proverbs 29:25, and 1 Thessalonians 2:4 over and over again until they are engraved into your brain.

Is Being an Introvert Really that Bad?

All this goes to say, being an introvert isn’t all bad. You actually have many strengths that extroverts wish they had. It may take some focus and learning to get the hang of being a good pastor. But don’t allow the “introvert” label to define you. Learn how to make it work to your advantage.
Many extroverts could learn a thing or two from introverts as well.

Isaac preaching and the tonne winery

Yesterday was a pretty good day all the way around. M'Lady and I started the day by taking a 3+ mile run first thing in the morning. Then we drove to Anderson and went to son Isaac's church. He was preaching. It was nice.

They had a pretty small gathering of people yesterday - around twenty, I'd guess - and I believe everyone except Jane and I were in their twenties. But we felt very comfortable. They are meeting in the basement of the First Methodist Church of Anderson. It's a better space than they had before as far as I'm concerned. A young (18-ish) guy led some songs on the guitar, they had a 'praise & lament' time (I think that's what they called it), they prayed, and Isaac preached. He spoke on the 'Serenity Prayer' yesterday, and not only did an excellent job, but it really spoke to me and was exactly what I needed to hear. So I was not only a proud papa, but a thankful one too.

After the service we went to the Exodus House for a bit and checked out the new fence and new shed, then we went out for lunch at Eva's. I had my usual Sunday breakfast for lunch. Then we dropped Isaac off and headed for home.

On the way home Jane wanted to stop at the Tonne Winery in rural Muncie. Daughter Carrie had just given her a bottle of wine from there and she wanted to check the place out. It's a neat little place and the people working there were very friendly. We tried several samples of different wines and then had a wine slushy while we tried to pick out what we wanted to buy. We bought three different kinds - for gifts and for personal use. I was glad we stopped by.

By the way, I was glad to hear son Isaac use the full, original version of the Serenity Prayer in his sermon. I think most people are only familiar with the shortened version - which is good too - but the full version attributed to Reinhold Niebuhr is much more powerful in my mind. Here it is:

God, give me grace to accept with serenity

the things that cannot be changed,

Courage to change the things

which should be changed,

and the Wisdom to distinguish

the one from the other.

Living one day at a time,

Enjoying one moment at a time,

Accepting hardship as a pathway to peace,

Taking, as Jesus did,

This sinful world as it is,

Not as I would have it,

Trusting that You will make all things right,

If I surrender to Your will,

So that I may be reasonably happy in this life,

And supremely happy with You forever in the next.

Amen.

Secrets...

This may not seem helpful to some, but it actually could/should be to some (who may not realize it). It just needs to be read with a spirit of love and an openness to Jesus, rather than as a snarky reprimand. And, for the record, I don't relate to ALL of these points, but most of them. So...

I came across this post from Rev. Gary Brinn he calls "Secrets Your Pastor Can't Share In A Sermon" (http://sayville.patch.com/articles/secrets-your-pastor-can-t-share-in-a-sermon). This is pretty bluntly honest, and again, mostly true. So much so, that I'm just going to post the bulk of the article. However, it's worth going to the link of the original to read the rest of it, and the comments alone are a tad bit entertaining. Anyway, whether this makes you laugh (because you're a pastor and you can relate), or squirm... enjoy. And... peace out; and in.

So here is a list of some of the things your pastor may (or may not) wish she (or he) could say. No doubt she or he has their own list. If you listen well, you might just see “between the lines.”

1)      You know how your doctor, lawyer and dentist had to complete years of grueling training and had to face numerous credentialing bodies before practicing her or his profession? Me too. In most cases I have completed a four-year undergraduate degree, a three-year professional degree, completed internships and clinical training. So when you assume I'm an idiot who just doesn't understand, I'm gritting my spiritual teeth and remembering Christ's humility. I'm smiling, but only on the outside.
2)      Your offering is not a tip for a good sermon, nor are you paying for services rendered. Your stewardship, bringing your tithes and offerings to the community in which you worship, is a spiritual practice that comes right out of scripture. The people Jesus taught and healed lived in grinding poverty. And then there were the taxes, enforced by a brutal occupation army. Remember Matthew the Tax Collector and all those centurions running around? They weren't there for a parade. Yet Jesus still presumed the Hebrew practice of tithing. Failure to give appropriately is a spiritual problem. I know, and I am praying for you.
3)      You probably think I only work an hour a week, because that is how often you see me. But that one hour a week took hours of preparation. I also managed to squeeze in several committee meetings, visited several people who were sick or homebound, and had to call the plumber and the dumpster company. I also represented the church at a civic function, and took three long phone calls telling me last week's sermon was “too political” because I pointed out that Jesus insisted we care for the poor. It's been a busy week, but I kept it down to under sixty hours, so that's good, right?
4)      Oh, and about Sunday morning... I have been “on,” like rock concert “on,” all morning. I'm smiling and being social, but I'm actually fried. (One list described this as being "Beyonce at a concert on" and appeared  in the Dirty Sexy Ministry blog by The Rev. Laurie Brock and The Rev. Mary Koppel. I'm not very Beyonce, so I've changed the reference slightly...). You know that important thing you needed to tell me as you shook my hand and headed off to brunch? I forgot it, along with the important things eight other people told me. Sorry, I didn't mean to, but you better write it down, send it in an email, or leave me a message for when I get back in the office. I think it is important because you think it is important, but I've already forgotten it.
5)      I work for God. I know it sounds insane, but that's it, flat out. Every other level of authority, bishop, vestry or church council, is just middle management. I didn't accept this call to make money. I accepted it because I couldn't say “no” to God any longer. That means I'm not always going to preach what you want to hear. Sometimes I'm going to challenge you, in fact, sometimes I'm going to piss you off. I don't do it for fun. I do it because Jesus told us this following thing was going to be hard, and that we needed to do it with a good team behind us. And I'm on your team by choice. If I stop challenging you, you'll know that I am either exhausted or scared. Neither is good for you or the church you love.
6)      Speaking of scared, I'd like to keep my job. I may have a spouse working in the community, kids in the local schools, and I most certainly have student loans that will follow me to the grave. It's a razor's edge up here, trying to please God and middle management and every person sitting in the pews. I need your prayers, and possibly a good therapist...
7)      I care more about the regulars. I know I'm not supposed to, but I do. You know, the one's who show up in the pouring rain, there for every fund raiser and Bible study. When a perfect stranger shows up demanding the rites of the church and treating me like I'm an unfortunate prop in their personal movie, it's a problem. She may be your granddaughter, but she hasn't been inside of a church, except as a bridesmaid, in years. She may promise to raise that child as a Christian, but you and I both know she's not going to get up on Sunday morning. I'm having serious theological qualms about this, I'm just not telling you.
8)      When you insist on “the way we do things in this church,” I'm wondering when you stopped worshiping a living God and started worshiping a building and its resident bureaucracy. Give me half a chance, and I'll help you drop the average age of worshipers and give this church a future. Many thousands of churches close every year. This doesn't have to be one of them. But it's your choice. When you are ready to look forward instead of backward, I'll be there to lead the way. That is, after all, what you keep telling me I'm supposed to do.
9)      Finally, I am human. Really. That nasty comment you made on your way out the door? It hurt. And wasn't very Christian. But I forgive you, and still love you, because that's how I roll.