Five things friday

It's that day. I don't know if my head or my desk is more frazzled in disarray as I try to pull together a sermon for next week. As usual, it's not that I don't know what to say; it's that there is too much and I don't know how to package only what's necessary. Ugh. How did I used to do this every week? Anyway, here's five things that have been keeping me distracted...

1. James Clear dropped this yesterday and I'm not sure what to think about it: "Greed is wanting the benefits of community without contributing to it." Gulp. Perhaps I am greedy... because I feel so needy. Or am I so needy because I am greedy? Although, honestly, I want to be a contributing member of a community. Maybe I am and I just don't feel like I'm doing enough. Maybe my expectations are out of whack. Oof. Sometimes it's hard.
2. Yesterday I signed up for a two-day seminar/conference/conversation with David Fitch on 'Reckoning With Power' (May 22-23 in Fort Wayne). There are three sessions, it is free, and I couldn't be more excited. I used to LOVE things like this, and have followed Fitch for years (decades?). We've conversed a few times, but I'm also looking forward just to being around some other pastors/church-leaders again. I've missed that.
3. According to this piece, of the 58,000 new books published last year, 90% sold less than 2,000 copies, and 50% sold less than a dozen copies (h/t TFU).Geezaroo. I know I've talked of someday writing a book, and there are a handful of people who would like me to... but I'm not really in any hurry anymore. It could be I don't want the pressure, or maybe I'm feeling more content simply being who I am (although I believe the statistic/article is really more of an indictment on the publishing industry!).
4. I ran across this idea (TFU) and without reading any more about it I'm thinking of using it to close my sermon on friendship: "We need to replace FOMO with JOMO — i.e., move from the Fear of Missing Out to the Joy of Missing Out."
5. "We live in a perpetually burning building, and what we must save from it, all the time, is love." -Tennessee Williams 

 p.s. - I was going to include an article stating almost 70% of divorces are initiated by women... but I didn't want to give anyone any ideas. =/ Yet, it's left me wondering... does that make women look bad, men look bad, or the whole dang lot of us??

Have a nice weekend!

Why running

I wasn't going to write anything today because... I didn't have anything to write about. Silly me. There is ALWAYS something to say! (whether we should or not is another story...)

Anyway, after the marathon Sunday where I wasn't sure if I would continue...

• As you know, I spent a bit of time stretching Monday and felt pretty good after that (then mowed the lawn).
• Tuesday I took off mostly because I felt it was a good idea (and had probably read/heard that it should be done). Although, I guess I did go for a 3.1 mile walk.
  
• Yesterday (Wednesday) I went for what I thought would be a sloggishly show 2-mile jog. It actually ending up feeling pretty good after the first block or so, and I went about my normal medium pace. I also walked 2 additional miles.
• Today I will get back at it as I'm feeling fine again. They suggest following the reverse training order following a race, so that would mean shorter distances yesterday, today, and Saturday maybe I'll do 5 miles or something. 

Then this morning... I ran into a young-ish guy at the Y who used to ask me a million questions (when I worked there) before he ran his first marathon last year... He signed up immediately for his second. That got me pumped to start planning on another one this year. When/where is yet to be determined.

So, why do I do this? I don't really know. I guess because I CAN seems as good a reason as any. I know one day I will not be able to, and that will be fine (I think). But for now... it's just something I do.

First mowing of the year

Monday, April 29, was the first mowing for this year. That may be the latest I've ever gone, and it showed!

I likely would have mowed a week or two ago, but with the marathon coming up plus the fact I can no longer take allergy meds... I didn't want to risk a full-blown allergy attack right before the big event.

Of course, then I thought maybe I should wait until May. But there is more rain expected and it was tall and tough grass already.

I raised the mower deck to the highest setting and the ol' Craftsman took off on the first pull. Not bad for a $75 mower. It was a little tough getting through some areas, and I probably should have just gone over the whole lawn twice. I didn't though. I am planning to mow again tomorrow - without even lowering the deck. 

One of these days I've got to stop procrastinating about this stinkin' sermon I have coming up. Just can't get anything goin'...

Marathon #7 completed

Every marathon has been a challenge. It is not easy to cover 26.2 miles on nothing but your feet. I think this is the first time I've seriously thought "this may be the last one" though. 

Sunday I completed the Fort Wayne Marathon (Ruble Racing). I can't say it was "lucky number 7," but it was the 7th I've attempted and completed. While I doubt I ever really thought I wouldn't finish (because it was the only way back to my car), I wasn't sure I would make it in under the minimum 6 hour time limit. I did... but this was my slowest - at 4 hours 56 minutes (the official time was 4:59 but the race director admitted to some "technical issues" and said my 4:56 was likely more accurate). I'm not going to quibble, especially since I took a wrong turn during mile 14 and added a quarter mile. It is what it is and I was glad to survive. 

THE GOOD

Certainly there is much to celebrate (especially two days removed from the horror event). A few months shy of my 62nd birthday and I feel completely blessed with the privilege of time, energy, and good health to be able do put in the necessary training. This is not work. I try to remind myself and be grateful on every run I do. Many people can only dream of such luxury.

Jane did the half marathon, and not only did both events cover the same 13 miles, they also started at the same time (8am). That doesn't often happen, and I was glad we got to run together for a couple hours anyway. I believe it was somewhere around mile 11 when she finally told me to go on ahead. She ended up getting 2nd in her age group. 

Our daughter and her daughter volunteered at a water station somewhere around mile 9-10 or thereabouts. It was nice seeing some familiar faces. They also both joined Jane at the finish line to wait for me to come in almost 2 1/2 hours later. 

While I was plenty sore, I did not suffer any injuries, dehydration, heart/breathing issues, blisters, or chaffing of any kind. That is always a plus, especially on a day where it rained and was hot and humid. So, after stretching on the Monday after, I was able to walk down the basement steps carrying a laundry basket without needing to hug the railing! It's almost like it never even happened. Lol.

Even though this was in our hometown, it was an entirely new course for me. And I liked it! It started at the Coliseum and was on city streets for the first 4 miles or so to downtown, then we were able to utilize paved trails the rest of the way. I had never been on the trail system through Swinney Park, Shoaff Park, PFW, the Pufferbelly, and probably several others as we headed north by The Plex, Concordia Seminary, and up to almost where Clinton meets Dupont Road. There was some beautiful scenery and I discovered some cool new places. Plus none of these trails were flooded like the ones on our side of town are (south).

This was a really really small event. I think 65 did the half and maybe 33 did the full. Still, I probably talked to as many or more other runners along the way than I usually do. There seemed a fairly good vibe of camaraderie. 

It's been awhile since I've won my age group, but I managed to beat the only other person in the 60-69 year range. :)

THE BAD

It was brutal. In so many ways...

For starters, it just poured rain Saturday night into Sunday. And, while it wasn't raining when we arrived, it started just before the start of the race. At least it never rained hard, and only lasted maybe the first few miles, then let up, then sprinkled some more later on... but then it got HOT and HUMID. Considering most of my training was in 20-50F temps, a sticky near-80 degree day was a bit of a shock to the system. This was the hottest, muggiest day we've had all year, and it came on all of a sudden. Fortunately the sun didn't shine too much, and there was a fair supply of cold towels for the marathoners on the second half of the course (which I utilized several times). 

The signage was "okay," but apparently they had used a lot of tape to mark the path... and the rain washed most of it away the night before. I got confused at a turn right before crossing Coliseum Blvd and went south toward Concordia High School. Pretty soon I didn't seen any other runners or signs and I kind of just stopped for a bit hoping maybe someone would come up behind me. Finally I walked back to the last sign I remembered and discovered the correct route under the bridge. There was also a spot after crossing the PFW bridge where the sidewalk split 4 or 5 ways and none of them were marked. I finally saw some spectators I recognized from the start line and they pointed me in the right direction.  Then there were several spots where they had return signs but not forward signs, so with a somewhat fried out brain I had to try to make backward sense on the fly. Ugh.

As is the case it seems with every marathon I've run, the water stations were great through the first half of the course, but not so much on the second (you know, where you really need it!). It wasn't terrible, but the last one - at mile 25 - had been abandoned when I got there and there were just some glasses of water, gatorade and coke, and who knows how long they'd been sitting out in the sun. 

I'm not sure when I started walking a bit of each mile. It was somewhere between 16 and 20 (I think). At first I walked a tenth of each mile, then two tenths, and so on. When I got to the last water station I figured I had 14 minutes to cover the last 1.2 miles, so I jogged that in without stopping in order to make it under 5 hours.

The finish line was... a little underwhelming. There were orange cones all over the parking lot and I had no idea where to go. There was also no clock at the finish... and no-body! I mean, a few people were milling about, but you basically just crossed the line and there was a table with medals on it and I guess you we were just supposed to grab one. There was no water, no food, no one to congratulate you... You just stopped, and that was that.

I don't think the mileage was right. Like I said, I'd went out of my way about a quarter of a mile and was that far off at every mile marker, but when I crossed the finish line my watch said 26.23 miles. Somewhere there was a discrepancy. The person who finished after me had to run around the parking lot awhile in order to get the full 26.2. And this was supposed to be a sanctioned race (meaning it needed to be at least 26.2 miles at the the minimum).

THE UGLY

The worst part to me was, as usual, my reaction to all the above. Rather than coming down the final stretch full of joy at accomplishing yet another feat... I was irritated. I don't even remember now what I may have said (or at least said out loud), but it was likely something about this being a terribly run event, and I was never doing it again, and everything was stupid! You know how I can get. And I regretted it soon after. I hate when I behave like a jerk, and I did.

Even though I am not really competing for a certain time, I was still a bit disappointed. I thought I would do better since I'd quit drinking, I'd been lifting weights, and my weight was down (152 lbs.). I suppose, though, considering I was in the hospital with AFib in November, and just had an ablation and had to take a week off a mere 7 weeks ago... I should feel pretty good. And I do. But.... you know.

MISCELLANEOUS

I know these events take A TON of work to put on, and I am grateful for the guy who apparently almost single-handedly does this. He should just advertise it as an outright no-frills marathon/half-marathon. I could get behind that. The fact that it's small doesn't matter. Embrace it. Although, if I had one suggestion (other than a little better course-markings), it might be to find someone to do his advertising/communication for him, and maybe a "cheerleader" of sorts. I take it he's just not a people-person and I think it would go a long way to have a little help. Still, I'm glad he does what he does.

As for specifics:

• I think there were 65 half-marathoners, and Jane was 46th(?) and 2nd in her 60-69 age group.
• There were like 33 marathoners, and I was 21st(?), and 1st in the 60-69 age group.
• I wore my cut-off dark blue tank top, dark blue shorts (from Dicks), original Injinji toe socks, Brooks Glycerin 20 shoes (8.5), light gray Mission hat, Garmin Forerunner 45 watch, and carried the 21 oz Nathan water bottle.
• For fuel I used four Tailwind Endurance Fuel packets in my water bottle (I started with one and refilled about every hour); I ate a GU gel at mile 25; and took plain water at several stops.
• Pre-race I used 2Toms Sport Shield on my nipples, crotch, and privates; Desitin diaper rash cream on my butt, and taped the ball of both feet (a bandaid and two pieces of tape on the right; one piece of tape on the left).
• I had to stop and pee twice (which is probably good, but I don't usually go at all). 
  
• I got up at 4:30am, had some coffee and chilled on the couch, ate a breakfast of peanut butter & jelly on toast around 6, and we left the house just after 7am. I took a cup of coffee with me in the car and drank that up until the race start at 8am.

And... that's about all I can think of. It's probably way more than you wanted to know (assuming you're still reading)... but now you know (and so will I).

I'm still a bit undecided on the future. I took yesterday off entirely (other than mowing the lawn), and just lifted weights at the Y this morning. I will likely take a walk later today, and jog a few miles tomorrow and Thursday. There's a chance I may continue with the Hal Higdon "Senior" marathon plan, or just take a few weeks to simply do some light jogging and/or walking. Whether I do another marathon later this year remains to be seen. It's a delicate balance to appreciate where I am physically and mentally... but also try to keep in mind just how brutal this last race was.     We'll see.

Another marathon (and half) done.

Five things friday

Well, it looks like we made it this far...

1. This is marathon weekend for me. The week leading up to it always feels strange. My mileage dropped drastically last week, and this week it's almost non-existent. I ran 3 miles Tuesday (in Buda), 2 miles Wednesday, and will do a light 2-mile jog tomorrow. That's it... until 26.2 on Sunday! You'd think it would feel good, and it's not that it necessarily feels bad, but it's like my body doesn't know what it's supposed to do. Often my back will start to hurt, or I will get the sniffles, or something else totally unrelated to running. I guess this year my allergies have kicked into high gear this week. Every morning my head feels like a pumpkin and I'm slightly congested. Still, I feel pretty good. A little left knee pain now and then (likely a touch of tendonitis/runners knee), but that's it. And, after a tedious week of sluggishness last week, I've been sleeping great this week and the afib-related stuff seems better than before I ever noticed it. I don't know if it's a sign the ablation worked or what, but I haven't noticed my heart skipping beats for over a week now, and I rarely am aware of my heart beating at all (in a good way). Also, for the record, my weight is maybe as good as it's ever been for a marathon (without looking back to make sure). I'm running between 150-152 pounds, and with the continued regular weightlifting two days a week, I feel about as fit as I ever have. Here's to hoping it's not a total crap marathon day then... ;)
2. I've been struggling to come up with a sermon for my next time speaking at church. The problem is, I was given a topic, and as part of a team it kinda/sorta should fit within the framework of what everyone else is speaking about. I've always had a harder time writing about a topic, rather than taking a Scripture text and seeing what comes out of that. So, it has somewhat been a good practice in humility in that it may just have to be whatever it is.
3. This preparation has also helped me recognize just how out of touch I am becoming with present-day culture... and I'm good with that. I don't do tiktok, instagram, x, or whatever other social media flavors are presently popular, and I've drastically reduced Facebook interaction. In fact, I'm at a place where I seem to have become less culturally relevant, and am becoming more Jesus relevant. I don't know that I am, but the time I've been spending alone in silence and solitude has made me much more comfortable with this life-direction. I am perhaps also becoming more comfortable with myself.
4. And... I am losing interest in college basketball almost to the point of not caring at all. This transfer portal free-for-all coupled with NIL has resulted in schools outrightly being able to buy their team from year to year. I mean, sure, money has always played a part in college sports; but there were still some kids who signed with a team and stuck with it and developed as part of that environment. Greed has now become status; loyalty for losers. I don't like it. Oh, sure, I will likely still watch 'from a distance' now and then, but college basketball has now gone the way of baseball (following the strike of 1982?), the NBA (after free agency), NFL (after free agency, coupled with TV monies), and college football (TV mega-deals). Either everything has changed, or I've just officially become an old man, or both. Sport is dying. Harumph. 
5. I will end with this quote from the Grand Rapids Marathon race director (Don Kern), which is why I still love getting out there myself: "'Winning' is something that happens to a lot more people than just the first one across the finish line." Yep.

 Have a great weekend, friends. Hopefully I will be back Monday. :)

How do you see the struggle?

In today's NYT newletter, David Leonhardt shares an insightful angle on the differences between progressives and conservatives. I'm not exactly sure how to share just that article, but I feel it's so helpful, and important, that I'm going to paste it below (yellow highlights are mine):

Dueling priorities

Arnold Kling, an economist, published a book a decade ago that offered a way to think about the core difference between progressives and conservatives. Progressives, Kling wrote, see the world as a struggle between the oppressor and the oppressed, and they try to help the oppressed. Conservatives see the world as a struggle between civilization and barbarism — between order and chaos — and they try to protect civilization.

Like many frameworks, Kling’s is a simplification, and it’s easy to find exceptions. But his book has been influential because the framework often sheds light on political arguments.

The debate over pro-Palestinian protests at Columbia and other universities has become an example. If you want to understand why university leaders are finding the situation so hard to resolve, Kling’s dichotomy is useful: The central question for colleges is whether to prioritize the preservation of order or the desire of students to denounce oppression.

In today’s newsletter, I’ll lay out the cases of the dueling sides.

Confronting injustice

For the student protesters, the injustice in Gaza is so horrific that it takes precedence over almost anything else.

The death toll in Gaza since Oct. 7 is more than 30,000, the Gaza Ministry of Health reports. Entire neighborhoods are rubble. Israel has slowed the entry of basic supplies into Gaza, and many families are hungry. (My colleagues Vivian Yee and Bilal Shbair profiled two families trying to find their children enough to eat.)

The protesters view this suffering as an atrocity that demands action, much as Jim Crow laws, the Vietnam War and South African apartheid did for earlier students. In a statement yesterday, a pro-Palestinian group at Columbia cited as inspiration the anti-Vietnam War demonstrators who were killed at Kent State University in 1970.

If classes must be canceled and graduation ceremonies can’t happen, all the better, the students say. The disruptions will force the world to confront what the protesters describe as a genocide. “Big picture, genocide is happening, and this is where we stand,” one Columbia graduate student told the publication Hell Gate.

Many protesters specifically call for their universities to divest from companies that do business in Israel or help produce military equipment.

Some students have framed the debate as being about free speech, and free-speech principles do play a role. But I don’t think they are as central as Kling’s frame. Both sides, after all, have tried to restrict speech. Supporters of Israel have doxxed pro-Palestinian students and tried to penalize slogans like “From the river to the sea.” Pro-Palestinian protesters have ripped away Israeli and U.S. flags and tried to prevent pro-Israel students from speaking.

The protesters’ abiding principle is not freedom of speech. It is justice for the oppressed.

Preventing chaos

For the protesters’ critics, the breakdown of order is the central problem — because a community that descends into chaos can’t function.

Protesters have frequently violated colleges’ rules. They have erected tents in public places and overwhelmed those areas. Columbia has switched to hybrid classes because of the turmoil.

Even worse, some protests have involved harassment and violence. The University of Michigan had to cut short an honors ceremony for students. At Vanderbilt, more than 20 protesters stormed the president’s office, injuring a security guard and shattering a window. At Columbia, videos have shown protesters threatening Jewish students with antisemitic vitriol, including a sign talking about Hamas’s “next targets.”

If universities do not enforce their own rules against such behavior, the rules have no meaning, administrators fear. Other protesters, seeing their own causes as existential, could likewise halt normal life. Perhaps they would be climate activists or students outraged by China’s oppression of Uighurs — or even demonstrators with right-wing views unpopular on American campuses. If anti-abortion protesters were to take over a quad for days, would university administrators ignore their own campus rules?

Jason Riley, a Wall Street Journal columnist, has compared the protesters’ tactics to those of the white residents of Arkansas who tried to use physical intimidation to prevent the enforcement of a law they didn’t like: school desegregation. President Dwight Eisenhower responded by proclaiming that “disorderly mobs” could not triumph, Riley noted.

College administrators are not making such analogies. Many express sympathy for the protesters’ concerns. But some insist that society can’t function if people violate rules without consequence. “We cannot have one group dictate terms and attempt to disrupt important milestones like graduation to advance their point of view,” Minouche Shafik, Columbia’s president, wrote to the campus this week.

What’s next?

I recognize that not everybody will accept Kling’s framework for this debate. Pro-Palestinian students will say that Israel is the true source of disorder, while pro-Israel students will say that Hamas is the true oppressor.

Still, I think the Kling dichotomy captures the dilemma that university leaders face. The protests continue, and graduation season is approaching. Those leaders will have to make difficult decisions about what values to prioritize.

 

I'm not sure why that brought such clarity for me, but it did. Of course, there is the monkey-wrench of how the far-right faction of conservatives (and maybe the far-left of progressives, but I don't honestly see that) seem intent on creating their own sort of chaos to serve their very narrow agenda, but still, I imagine both, and, either/or all fit to some degree within what they see as the "greater good." At least I'd like to think so...

Innaresting stuff as we try to navigate through this contentious world together, eh?

 

Trip to buda; summit city half/quarter marathon

I am back home now. We took a quick trip to the old homestead in Illinois Sunday through Tuesday. Just a visit with my mom, Jane's brother, and taking care of some odds and ends (mainly putting my mom's patio/porch furniture out for Spring). It was uneventful and there were no surprises.

We chose these days (instead of a weekend) because we both ran in the Summit City Half & Quarter Marathon Saturday, we wanted to be in church on Sunday, and apparently Jane has some vacation days she needs to use. 

I/we like the Summit City race because it's local and we like to support it (I get peeved at local runners who won't support local events). I also like that it has a minimal footprint. There are no road closings or traffic disruptions, and a bare-bones volunteer crew. The downside is it's a somewhat hilly course, it's two loops for a half marathon (which I don't mind but some don't), and high winds made it especially chilly and not fun coming up the long stretch of Illinois Road this year. Still, it adds to the challenged and I like it. This year Jane ran the half and I did the quarter (we usually do the opposite) because of our training schedule for the following weekend. I actually ran 8 total miles by starting the quarter, running a mile, then turning around and coming back to meet up with Jane and then run the first loop of the half with her. We can't remember if that was our third or fourth time doing this event.

So, that's about all there is to say about those two things...

Five things friday

The calendar says it is Friday. Yay! Here are five things of interest this week:

1. Somehow I happened onto this article from 2017 on 'The Prosperity Gospel, Explained - the long, strange history of a quintessentially American Theology.' What especially caught my eye was how connected the idea of the "American work ethic" and Capitalism are tied to prosperity beliefs. I'm not a fan of these ideas (because of my theology).
   
2. Speaking of money ... Apparently the lowest average salary people will accept for a new job has reached a record $81.8K. (h/t 1440) Holy cow! I don't know that I've ever made half that.
   
3. When my sister was here a couple weeks ago she noticed the old electric football game under the bed. It was mine from childhood (as was the spare bed she was sleeping in), likely from the mi-late 1960s. Today I stumbled onto this article: 'The Buzzing Nostalgia and Furious Competition of Electric Football Tournaments.' Apparently there is a Tudor Games Electric Football World Facebook group, as well as a Midwest Electric Football League FB group in Chicago (among others). Maybe I could find someone to buy my old game and clear out that space under the bed!
4. I think I forgot to mention that I re-read Trevor Hudson's fine little book 'Beyond Loneliness' over the last week or two. I thought it might contain some gems for my upcoming sermon on friendship. I'm not sure it did, but it was good to go through again and it reinforced what I was already planning to write/talk about, so time well spent.
5. I like this quote from Colin Powell (that I snagged from The Friday Update): “Leadership is the art of accomplishing more than the science of management says is possible."

Yeah... doing more than what seems possible (and probably with a lot less money) kinda seems right up God's alley. Have a great weekend!

36 questions to love (or really get to know someone and be known)

I stumbled across this article awhile back (https://getpocket.com/explore/item/want-to-fall-in-love-with-your-partner-again-science-says-to-ask-them-these-36-questions?utm_source=pocket-newtab-en-us) and thought it seemed useful for a number of applications...

The questions are:

Set 1

1. Given the choice of anyone in the world, whom would you want as a dinner guest?
2. Would you like to be famous? In what way?
3. Before making a telephone call, do you ever rehearse what you are going to say? Why?
4. What would constitute a "perfect" day for you?
5. When did you last sing to yourself? To someone else?
6. If you were able to live to the age of 90 and retain either the mind or body of a 30-year-old for the last 60 years of your life, which would you want?
7. Do you have a secret hunch about how you will die?
8. Name three things you and your partner appear to have in common.
9. For what in your life do you feel most grateful?
10. If you could change anything about the way you were raised, what would it be?
11. Take four minutes and tell your partner your life story in as much detail as possible.
12. If you could wake up tomorrow having gained any one quality or ability, what would it be?

Set 2

13. If a crystal ball could tell you the truth about yourself, your life, the future or anything else, what would you want to know?
14. Is there something that you've dreamed of doing for a long time? Why haven't you done it?
15. What is the greatest accomplishment of your life?
16. What do you value most in a friendship?
17. What is your most treasured memory?
18. What is your most terrible memory?
19. If you knew that in one year you would die suddenly, would you change anything about the way you are now living? Why?
20. What does friendship mean to you?
21. What roles do love and affection play in your life?
22. Alternate sharing something you consider a positive characteristic of your partner. Share a total of five items.
23. How close and warm is your family? Do you feel your childhood was happier than most other people's?
24. How do you feel about your relationship with your mother?

Set 3

25. Make three true "we" statements each. For instance, "We are both in this room feeling _____."
26. Complete this sentence: "I wish I had someone with whom I could share _____."
27. If you were going to become a close friend with your partner, please share what would be important for him or her to know.
28. Tell your partner what you like about them; be very honest this time, saying things that you might not say to someone you've just met.
29. Share with your partner an embarrassing moment in your life.
30. When did you last cry in front of another person? By yourself?
31. Tell your partner something that you like about them already.
32. What, if anything, is too serious to be joked about?
33. If you were to die this evening with no opportunity to communicate with anyone, what would you most regret not having told someone? Why haven't you told them yet?
34. Your house, containing everything you own, catches fire. After saving your loved ones and pets, you have time to safely make a final dash to save any one item. What would it be? Why?
35. Of all the people in your family, whose death would you find most disturbing? Why?
36. Share a personal problem and ask your partner's advice on how he or she might handle it. Also, ask your partner to reflect back to you how you seem to be feeling about the problem you have chosen.

 

10 things I hate

This is a writing exercise, so we'll see if I can come up with ten things. Haha (it should not be a problem).

1. I hate seeing people being mean to children - whether merely screaming at them, needlessly making them cry, demeaning them, and especially hitting them.
2. I hate seeing women slapped around and abused (whether in real life or on TV).
   
3. I hate when people blatantly disregard traffic laws like running red lights (when it's not even close) and not using turn signals. I get it that sometimes "things happen," and we all make mistakes, but some people are so dang arrogant about not thinking the rules apply to them.
4. I hate guns and ridiculous arguments for them. Which doesn't mean I don't understand the need for them. I'm not opposed to hunting, and I get that we're going to have police and military who use them (however much opposed to them I am); and my dad was an avid gun collector and did not amass a small arsenal for the purpose of hurting others. However, I see no reason some lame-brain idiot needs to stockpile automatic weapons in the interest of "freedom" or "national security." These are usually the people who scare me the most!
5. I hate it when stores put so much stuff in the aisles that you can barely get around with a shopping cart.
6. I hate when stores give out free food samples and people congregate around them like an aid truck in Gaza.
7. I hate hearing people chew food, smack their lips, or make noises with their mouth. Mostly I hate that it drives me so batty, because I realize I probably do to some degree too, but I just about can't stand it.
8. I hate seeing someone spit. Not sure why that bothers me so much either, but it does.
9. I hate when people act all high and mighty and say ridiculous things like, "We teach our kids that they shouldn't say 'hate'; it's not christian." This actually happened at the church I was pastor at. Some people complained when I nonchalantly said I hated something, using the exact wording above. I wanted to laugh and say, "Really, because it doesn't appear you teach your spoiled rotten brat-children anything! How's that working out for you?"
10. I hate when I'm stupid, unreasonable, and say hurtful things - whether it's because I totally lost my cool or I didn't realize it until later - I still hate being a jerk (and I am all too often).

There, I did it. And I could probably go on ... for quite some time. I'm not real fond of that either...

One healthy birthday?

"The average American celebrates just one healthy birthday after the age of sixty-five."

What!?! That's how Dhruy Khullar's article 'How To Die In Good Health' starts out. I didn't even read beyond that opening line. 

Apparently the point is that it doesn't have to be that way. Maybe someday I'll get around to reading it. In the meantime... M'yeah... I don't wanna live like that. Which doesn't mean I don't wanna live; or even that I wanna live forever. It means I hope to do what I can to have more than one healthy birthday from here on out.

 

Escape with new struts

I had to take the 2011 Ford Escape XLT 2.5L 4 Cylinder in for service last week. Ugh. It needed an oil change, but it had also been making a clunk/clank noise for quite some time. That sound ended up coming from our piggy bank...

This has been a good car for us, so I can't really complain. Not only did we get the oil changed, a new battery, and wheel alignment, but we also had to have both front struts replaced and a new stabilizer bar link kit. They suggested replacing the rear shocks, fuel injection service, cooling system flush, and replacing the spark plugs (even though I swear they just replaced the spark plugs about a year ago), but I thought the $1,565.94 was enough for this visit. 

I do have to say, it drives and sounds waaaaaaay better. We'd had issues with the stabilizer bar before, and I just thought something was loose. Apparently the struts had rusted out, so it is one smooth and quiet ride now in comparison.

Five things friday

I've thought about trying to establish these Friday posts around a sort of theme each week. That has proven difficult. So, until something changes, they will continue to just be a random five things I feel worth sharing or that I want to make note of. Here are this week's:

1. For quite awhile now (like, over a year) I've been on a kick where I eat oatmeal with blueberries almost every morning. I use the "quick oats," with a cup of milk (occasionally water), microwave for two minutes, then add a cup of blueberries. I've tried different toppings, but this is by far my favorite. Every now and then I force myself to eat something else, just because I've heard it's not good to eat the same thing all the time, but this tastes good, fills me up, and I think it's fairly healthy.
2. Jane and I often make fun of the stupid commercials on TV. There are a lot of them, you know. However, some of the ones we see when watching GRIT TV are real doozies. Especially the ones about buying gold. However, I read this week that gold prices have hit a record high, surpassing $2300 per ounce. And Costco is selling as much as $200M in gold bars per month! I suppose now is not the best time to jump on the bandwagon then, is it?
3. Speaking of records, the women's college basketball championship game last week between South Carolina and Iowa drew an estimated 18.9 million viewers. That was the largest in women's college basketball history - by a lot! And, yes, I was one of those viewers. Also, yes, more people watched it than the men's college basketball championship game. That's great. Really. I'm happy for women, women's sports, and I do have to say I am impressed with how much it has grown. It's all good! However... you know I'm annoyed with something, right? I'm not upset that more people watched the women's championship game than the men's. I mean, it's not really an even comparison. The women's game was on CBS at 3PM on a weekend. The men's was on a cable station, and at 9:20PM, on a Monday night for crying out loud! That's what irks me!! Why do they put the men's games on so late, on cable, and on Mondays? Isn't it the same with the men's college football championship game? And, I know, it's all about the money. It's always all about the money. And everyone will agree that that is what ruins things... but yet... it always still remains "all about the money." Argh.
4. Which leads me to... Are you a jerk? Am I a jerk? I couldn't help but read this article 'How to Tell If You're a Jerk.'  I don't know that it was the greatest article (they use a lot of big words) but it piqued my interest and has me wondering. They say, "The scientifically recognized personality categories closest to “jerk” are the “dark triad” of narcissism, Machiavellianism, and psychopathic personality." Also, there is apparently a difference between being a jerk and an asshole. Who knew? So, that's something I've been thinking about, and I really am trying to be less of... all of that!
5. I will leave you with this question posed by James Clear: "Is the situation actually complicated or is it really quite straightforward, but you're making it complicated because it requires a lot of courage to make the straightforward decision?" Hmm. That's good. Sort of.
   

Alrighty. I need to take a long walk to pick up my car that's in the shop, have a lunch meeting with a friend/pastor, and remember to pick up the wife this afternoon. All in a day's ... "work."

Filling up on gaslighting

Gaslighting. It was Merriam-Webster's "Word of the Year" in 2022. All the cool kids are talking about it (or at least they were).

This article 35 Gaslighting Phrases That Experts Say Are Unfairly Belittling Your Emotions is... really terrible, I thought. But there were a few things that did make me stop and think.

For starters, the simplest definition of the term gaslighting. Webster defines it as “the act or practice of grossly misleading someone especially for one’s own advantage.”

However, reading through their list it seems almost everything COULD be legitimate, but could also be construed as gaslighting. And I almost began to feel like it's gaslighting if a man is doing it to a woman, but never the other way around. That's probably me gaslighting though...

Which, I have to admit, whenever I read about things like this, or narcissism, or several other negative character traits... why do I always feel conspicuously guilty? Is it because I am? I mean, I start to suspect that, and then it makes me just want to crawl in a hole. 

But the other thing that jumped out at me while reading this was the list of signs you're being gaslighted (gaslit?):

• Doubt your feelings, beliefs, thoughts and reality
• Question your perceptions and judgment
• Feel alone, powerless, or inadequate
• Feel confused
• Apologize frequently
• Second guess your feelings, memories and decisions
• Worry that you’re too sensitive or that something's wrong with you
• Have trouble making decisions
• Think others dislike you without cause

I mean... THAT'S ME! That's how I feel almost all the time! But then I wonder if that's how people perceive me, or is it 'just me'? Which then makes me wonder if I am the gaslight-er again...

God it's tough having a conversation with myself. 

I guess the point is, don't gaslight people; don't be a man; don't be in a position of authority; and go the hell away! Is that grossly misunderstanding the article well enough? Or grossly misleading you about what it says?

Gah!

I'm going for a run...

https://getpocket.com/explore/item/35-gaslighting-phrases-that-experts-say-are-unfairly-belittling-your-emotions?utm_source=pocket-newtab-en-us 

20 miles and the eclipse

I feel like I need to remind you: this blog is about "everyday" life, not necessarily a posting every day. ;)  But, yeah, I haven't been writing as much as I'd like. Anyway...

TWENTY MILES

For those who have been wondering: yes, I did complete my 20-mile run Saturday. And it went way better than anticipated! This is the longest run I do in preparation for a marathon and the idea is to try to make it last as long as it will take to run the actual 26.2 miles. I was hoping to drag it out to 4 1/2 hours, but was at least able to make it a full 4 (technically I think it took me 4 hours 2 minutes).

Jane did the first 6 miles with me and I can't remember now if we headed out at 8am or 9, but it was a beautifully crisp sunny morning perfect for running. It was maybe 35F when we started, and around 50F by the time I got done. I wore shorts, t-shirt, and my lightweight Brooks windbreaker and was probably a tad over-dressed. This was my second run in the new Brooks Glycerin 20 shoes, and I loved them! The 8 1/2 fit my feet perfectly.

For fuel I can't remember if I used 3 or 4 pouches of Tailwind Endurance fuel. I think it was 3, and then I had one GU gel with water. I reloaded my 21 oz water bottle at home after Jane's 6 miles, then I ran through Foster Park and went downtown to the Y and reloaded again. So, yeah, including the one I started with, I did 3 pouches of Tailwind, and took the gel at the Y at about mile 14. 

In order to drag out the time, I started walking 1/4 mile every 2 miles after Jane was done. Somewhere around mile 16 or 17 I must have changed to walking 1/4 of every mile in order to hit 4 hours. Those usually came to about 12-minute miles. It also included 20-minute miles when I stopped at home and at the Y (to fill my water bottle and go potty).

I'm guessing the amount of walking I did plus the cool temps contributed to feeling good. However, I never did get sore even the next day or two afterward. It's weird how sometimes I'll run 5 miles and can barely walk down stairs and then I can have a run like this and it doesn't effect me at all. I'll take it!

Now I do 12 miles this Saturday (though we're thinking of signing up for a local half marathon instead) and then 8 miles the next. Then it's the big day!

ECLIPSE TOTALITY

I know everyone is making fun of people using "totality," and I don't care. It was one of THE COOLEST things I have ever witnessed! I mean... there is no way I can describe it. It was humbling, awe-inspiring, bordering on a truly spiritual experience. Seriously.

And, I'll be the first to admit, I thought it was a bit ridiculous that my sister and her son drove from Minnesota (picking up my mom in Illinois) and back just for this. They left Minnesota Sunday morning, stayed at our house Sunday night, and left for home immediately after the eclipse Monday afternoon. Turns out, though, I'm glad they did and I don't believe they regret it one bit!

I was planning to go anyway - but only because totality was a mere 20 minutes from our house, Jane was working at the event, and I have the time. Again, though, I just can't describe what it was like when the sun was completely covered by the moon. Yes, it was neat seeing the different stages of coverage, but I didn't realize you could look at it WITH NO ECLIPSE GLASSES when it was completely covered. THAT is what's indescribable. I couldn't stop staring. Yes, it got dark, the temperature dropped probably 15 degrees, it was completely still and quiet and... I don't know... it was simply one of the most awesome things. The crowd gathered at the Bluffton Y then started spontaneously clapping, but we were all still mesmerized.

The other thing I thought incredible was just the sheer power of the sun. When the first speck of light became visible again you could no longer even glimpse at it without glasses and the sky began to brighten. It was amazing the difference even a speck of sunlight made.

I took several pictures but they didn't come close to capturing the real thing. I snagged this pic from an Indy photographer who used a zillion expensive cameras to get some idea. Even it doesn't completely grasp what it was like to be standing there looking at it with your eyes...

I know I can tend to dramatize things, but I will never regret the hours we spent waiting for this 2-3 minutes. Really, it was one of the most amazing things I've ever witnessed and/or experienced. I'd consider driving a few states over to see the next one whenever it happens again.

For the record: We went to one of the Y branches connected to Jane's work. It's about 20 miles from our house and was the closest place to us for totality. They had a local news station broadcasting there all day, live music, and some food trucks. The actual event was from 1-4pm. We arrived around noon and left a little after 4. I believe the eclipse started around 1:55pm and totality was just after 3pm. There were a lot of people there, but it wasn't at all crowded. Most everyone gathered on the soccer field.

So... sorry for the long post, but those were two pretty eventful happenings for this old guy. I'm feeling pretty good about both.