How to measure leadership

In all my reading on leadership, I don't believe I've seen this 2017 piece from Ali Rowghani on how to measure leadership (and/or determine if you are a good leader). It makes a lot of sense because it is not dependent on 'style' of leadership or personality. It is all about building trust by doing these three things exceptionally well:

1. Clarity of thought and communication.
2. Judgment about people.
3. Personal integrity and commitment.

I think these are spot on. Especially number 1. 

You can read the article HERE. Hat tip to Josh Spector for pointing it out.

Leadership lessons

I ran across this article awhile back - 7 Brutal Truths About Leadership Not Too Many People Want To Hear - and it seems to frame the topic in a way other leadership articles don't. It was refreshing.

As I so often say when I post something about leadership, I don't know why the hell I'm still reading on the subject. I guess a part of me still feels like I do/can lead. Regardless, I liked the way this was presented, and I will just share points. You can read the short article for explanations. 

1. Leaders must face conflict to solve problems
2. Leaders must grow people
3. Leaders must put employees ahead of customers
4. Leaders must make the workplace safe
5. Leaders must be willing to listen to feedback
6. Leaders must apply the strength of vulnerability
7. Leaders must act with love and care

 ***

Are you really where you are?

I can name that emotion in..... Oh, wait, that was a different show (Name That Tune)!

I happened onto this great little exercise in learning to really be where I am. It comes from the fine folks at Gravity Leadership via their weekly curated links email (you can sign up for it yourself on the bottom right of their main page). I've tried figuring out the best way to share this, and hopefully they won't mind if I just copy and paste the bulk of the email. It's pretty good. So...

One of the core axioms of our training is that God meets us right where we really are. One of the most surprising realizations of my life was discovering how much time and energy I spend avoiding being where I really am, emotionally, spiritually, physically.

So the simple practice of recognizing and feeling how I actually feel right now in my body has been profoundly transformative for me. I limit myself to a list of 6 "core emotions" to give myself a framework for the exercise without overthinking it: joy, anger, fear, sadness, disgust, and excitement.

I simply name the emotion, where I feel it in my body, and how strongly I feel it on a scale of 1 to 10 (10 being the strongest).

Here's how I do it (you can try it right now as you read this email!):

1. Sit down in a chair, close your eyes, take 4-5 deep, cleansing breaths, and seek to simply be present to your body.
2. Notice where you feel sensations in your body, and how strongly you feel them.
3. Notice the strongest sensation, and discern which of the 6 core emotions it feels like.
4. Say (out loud), "I feel [core emotion], in my [body part], it's at [number]."

For example, as I write this now, I feel sadness, behind my eyes, and it's at 4.

After acknowledging where you're at, just quietly welcome whatever you are experiencing in your body as the place of God's dwelling with you. Embrace the moment as it is without trying to change anything.

Sometimes we'll start meetings this way as a way to ground everyone in "where we're really at." It also fosters empathy and compassion in community. And it's also where God waits for us. So not only do we become present to ourselves, we become present to God, who is present with us right in the middle of our reality. Give it a try!

 

Isn't that good? I highly recommend their their weekly email. I'm not even a leader and there are almost always all sorts of helpful and practical things to learn and discover.

Ben closed this particular email with the following prayer:

 Oh God,
grant me the grace
to live in the space
between impulse and action.
Amen.

***

 Psalm 95:6-7

“Come, let us bow down in worship, let us kneel before the LORD our Maker; for he is our God and we are the people of his pasture, the flock under his care.”

 

A velvet hammer is better than a dirt sandwich

It was only recently I discovered why my boss is never able to get people to do what they're supposed to do. It's because he's trying to serve a sandwich with no meat.

Perhaps you've heard of the 'sandwich' method of delivering bad news. This is where you say something nice, drop in some bad news (or hard truth), and end with something nice again. While that may sound... nice... and I'm sure that's why my boss prefers it (because he's one of the nicest guys in the world), it is simply not very effective.

The problem is, some people are going to be so fixated on the good news that they fail to even recognize the bad. Or the opposite happens: they see right through to the baloney that's really being delivered, and are then only offended by the supposed "good" news wrapped around it. Either way it sends a conflicting message.

What if there was a better, more effective, way to deliver hard news and resolve issues.

I read this great little article, "Why the 'Velvet Hammer' Is A Better Way To Give Constructive Criticism," and I agree! It avoids the confusion, gets right to the point, and is more likely to achieve the intended result!

You really need to read the short article for full affect, but here's the word-for-word formula:

Start with, “Got a minute? Great. I need your help.”

“It should be said in a friendly way,” says Baldridge. Then, ‘I need your help’ is an international surrender of agenda. It’s a disarming way to get attention sincerely and genuinely. And you do need their help because their behavior is becoming problematic.”

Next, say, “I noticed that [problem behavior goes here.] (Pause) I was wondering what’s causing this problem (pause), because it cannot continue. What do you suggest we do?”

“The word ‘because’ is one of the 30 most persuasive words,” says Baldridge. “Everyone wants to know what comes after it.”

Also, asking what the person suggests we do is powerful because people are persuaded most by their own words, says Baldridge. The approach is designed to be nonthreatening, compassionate, and open-minded. It finds positivity in the way you communicate, manage, and lead, especially when you need to correct a problematic behavior. 

The author goes on to explain why it works and how best to deliver it. This seems much tastier to me than whatever is supposed to be in that lousy sandwich.

Anyway, I like this velvet hammer approach. I'm trying to imagine it in non-work settings too. Personally, I always prefer when someone is direct, up front, and has a genuine desire to see a better result not only for themselves, but for all concerned! Wouldn't that make life so much easier?

***

“And don’t say anything you don’t mean. This counsel is embedded deep in our traditions. You only make things worse when you lay down a smoke screen of pious talk, saying, ‘I’ll pray for you,’ and never doing it, or saying, ‘God be with you,’ and not meaning it. You don’t make your words true by embellishing them with religious lace. In making your speech sound more religious, it becomes less true. Just say ‘yes’ and ‘no.’ When you manipulate words to get your own way, you go wrong." - Matthew 5:33-37

Sunday stuff

So many things, so little time (or so poorly managed)...

• My lovely wife took these pics while in Colorado. The mountains look pretty (though I'm not a big fan of being in them personally), but she looks so much prettier!
• The first article I read this morning was '5 Questions the Most Interesting People Will Always Ask in Conversations.' They are: What's your story? What makes you smile when you get up in the morning? What is that one book that has influenced you the most? What absolutely excites you right now? What's the most important thing I should know about you? Good questions, but I think the book one assumes a lot.
• The CEO of the company I work for shared this Frances Frei TEDTalk 'How to Build (and rebuild) Trust.' I didn't care much for the presentation, but the info was pretty good. I'd say we are "wabbling" in all three areas (authenticity, logic, and empathy) - mostly because I have no idea where the leadership stands on any of them! I'm curious as to why the CEO shared this talk, for one. What's the context? Who is the intended audience? And what does he expect to happen?!? 
• While watching the above, I stumbled onto this short piece from Michael C. Bush 'This Is What Makes Employees Happy At Work.' I wish I could suggest the CEO watch that one! :)
• The problem with me watching things like these is that it starts to make me want to give a damn. Like, I would LOVE to be involved in some discussions about some of these things. But no one ever asks, no one would listen if even if they did, and I don't think anyone really cares all that much. At least not about anything I might have to say. 
• Different subject... yesterday I managed a 90-minute walk/jog. I think I jogged a total of 3.75 miles and walked another 2.5. I jogged every 3/4 mile at an 11 or 12-minute/mile pace, and walked the remaining 1/4 of each mile. I actually felt really good doing it! Hallelujah!! Today I will just go for a long walk, because it's a beautiful sunny day in the 70s.

Carry on and, as Francis says, "If we can learn to trust one another more, we can have unprecedented human progress." I'd prefer you start... ;)

***

“This is the confidence we have in approaching God: that if we ask anything according to his will, he hears us. And if we know that he hears us—whatever we ask—we know that we have what we asked of him.” -1 John 5:14-15

Where do I see myself

Ugh. I applied to be a part of this leadership training thing through the Y. It's a part-time employee management training program. I don't even know if I will get into it - I'm probably a little older than the type of employee they were hoping for. I'm also not entirely sure I want to do it even if I do get in!

Anyway, I had to submit a cover letter, resume, and a recommendation from my boss. This may sound naive and conceited, but I do have to say... I can look pretty decent on paper. The problems arise when I actually have to speak and act.

For some reason, though, when I submitted my paperwork I started to ponder the old "Where do you see yourself in 5/10 years from now" question. I've been asked it before. I've likely been told how you're supposed to respond to it.

I think I see this question in a different light now than I used to. I don't know that it's better or not, and it's probably not how you're supposed to answer. Yet, if I'm asked that question today, I'd like to answer something like this:

"In 5 (or 10) years I will be almost 62 (or 67) years old. I anticipate life being even more full in my 60's and 70's than it has been to this point. I hope to see myself with another degree or two, having read at least another 5-10 books in each of those years, be volunteering in some capacity among the under-served of the community, and have the faith and curiosity of a child; but most of all, I want to be enjoying daily life with my sweetheart, and be able to listen intently to my grandchildren as they share with me their hopes and dreams and every little detail about their lives.

I believe trying to plan for future employment or achievements is short-sighted. I want to continue to learn and grow and give, so I can prepare for the future as my best self. My hope is that I have not even begun to see what that can fully look like yet.

Of course, realistically, I probably won't do any of those things. But that's the way I would like to see it...

Responsibility without authority, and learning excel

Just dropping a couple things off today for later perusal. Sorry, I've been busier than I want to be. Nothing lasts forever... (we're not in Kansas anymore, Toto)...

I keep thinking about this - "responsibility without authority" thing - and I need a reminder. So here are just a couple things I gleaned from a quick search:

• B.A.L.A.N.C.E. Authority with Responsibility
• Responsibility Without Authority: How To Drive Employees Crazy

I can use Excel, but I've always wanted to get a better understanding of it. Now I feel it would be advantageous for several reasons. So here are a couple places online:

• Excel Quick Start Tutorial: 36 Minutes to Learn the Basics (Udemy)
• 11 Places to Learn Microsoft Excel for Free That Will Make You Jump for Joy
• How to Learn Excel Online: 21 Free and Paid Resources for Excel Training

Otherwise... we celebrated the youngest grandson's 5th birthday yesterday; the parking lot drama continues (the biggest problem is dealing with the people trying to tell me how to do it); work is just stupid; and... meh... there's more, but it's not worth it.

Gotta go!

Dealing with team dysfunction - again

I am reposting this from several years ago because... I need to reference it...

Dealing with team dysfunction (from 4/14/15)

This is my last post from the CAM 510 Coach Approach to Leading & Managing course I took a couple weeks ago. During the course, we talked quite a bit about 'teams.' Churches are full of teams, but they are just as common in the workforce, as well as society at large. Though every group doesn't need to function as a team, it's important for those teams that do exist to function well.

We discussed Patrick Lencioni's The Five Dysfunctions of A Team, which is summarized below:

I like viewing the above list in the form of the triangle in the first picture, because Trust is the foundation which everything else rests on. If there is no trust, then nothing else is going to work. There is a good article HERE on Overcoming the Five Dysfunctions. Some of the things we discussed in the class were...

How to Overcome:

1. Lack of Trust...
- The leader needs to demonstrate trust and honesty, being vulnerable about strengths & weaknesses
- be supportive of others who are taking risks
- set up opportunities for team members to get to know one another
- provide assessments that help us understand others better (Myers-Briggs; StrengthFinder; etc)

2. Fear of Conflict...
- define what conflict is (other than just arguing)
- encourage healthy conflict resolution
- establish feedback process
- express interests rather than solutions (see if you can find solutions for both interests)
- let your ideas do battle rather than people

3. Lack of Commitment...
- "People don't have to have their WAY, as long as they can have a SAY"
- allow people to be heard
- clearly state and articulate vision
- promote ownership among team members (rather than telling them what to do)

4. Avoidance of of Accountability...
- clear communication of action
- clearly defined roles and rules of engagement
- recognition that action can only be done by individuals
- understanding of how our actions effect others

5. Inattention to Results...
- evaluation of outcomes
- establish standards/measurables to evaluate by
- celebrate small and team wins (how what each person did contributed to the team)
- reward on the team's success

Or... to summarize in a picture...

Certainly the fix from dysfunction to function is not an easy road, but I believe it is doable, and is worthwhile in the end. There are a lot of applications for this stuff. Very good.

Leading by following (the shirtless dancing guy video)

Church leadership has been a hot topic - at least in church leadership circles - for quite some time. Personally I can remember back as far as Elmer Townes, to John Maxwell, and up through Hybels, Warren, and countless other mega-church pastors who were hoisted up as people to follow in order to make our churches great again. And I certainly mean no disrespect to any of these people, they may all be/have been great guys. Yet, this leadership culture thing seems to have created some pretty unhealthy pastors, churches, and people.

Last night was my first time witnessing the 'Shirtless Dancing Guy' video though... and we may be onto something!

Apparently our pastor showed the video this past Sunday. I was outside at the time, but it was requested we watch it at Beer Study/Bible Tasting last night, so we did. You can (hopefully) watch it below (if that doesn't work, here is the link: https://youtu.be/hO8MwBZl-Vc):

What I like about the lesson is the person suggested as the proverbial "leader to emulate" ISN'T the shirtless dancing guy... but the first guy that joins him!!! That's where the challenge is: the leader is actually the FIRST FOLLOWER!

So, in essence, I guess you could say the shirtless dancing guy is like... Jesus. The rest of us just need to follow him... until someday we've got a great big dance party going on. :)

------

Anyway, I haven't thought it through a great deal, and this is some serious over-simplification, but it made good sense to me at the time. Now I want to watch the video again!

Customer service models: heart & learn

I picked up an Uber rider last night and they had apparently just had a job interview. She was on the phone with what sounded like her spouse or significant other and was sharing how it went. I wasn't really paying attention, but I did hear her mention that they used the customer service acronym L.E.A.R.N. and she was familiar with H.E.A.R.T. This sort of intrigued me so this morning I did a brief google wander.

I happened upon the Cleveland Metro Schools customer service department and found it quite interesting. They utilize this approach:

S.T.A.R.T. with Heart^®

Upfront Customer Experience Model

S mile and greet warmly

T ell your name, role and what to expect

A ctive listening and assist

R apport and relationship building

T hank the person 

Respond with H.E.A.R.T.

Experience Recovery Model

H ear

E mphatize

A pologize (some others use "Assess")

R espond

T hank the person

I like that. I dug a little deeper and found these two more detailed explanations:

Post this acronym by your office phones to remind employees how to effectively deal with customer complaints:

H ~ Hear the customer. Take time to really listen to his or her gripe. Many times, the customer just needs to vent. Sometimes, he or she will work out a solution in the telling of the tale. Jumping in with a solution or counterargument before your client has finished complaining makes him or her feel you have not listened and fully understood the problem.
E ~ Empathize. Famous psychologist Carl Rogers perfected the art of the “say back” technique in conflict. After listening carefully, “say back” what your client has told you in terms he or she will agree to, and offer your empathy or condolences. This affirms that you have listened carefully and that you take the customer’s feelings and frustrations seriously. Assure the client you want to remedy the situation. For example, “I understand, Mrs. Johnson, that you are upset because you ordered 12 gizmos and only 11 arrived. I agree, that is very frustrating. I assure you I’ll do everything possible to make this right for you.”
A ~ Agree on a solution. Stay calm and keep your vocal inflections positive and the customer will usually settle down and be ready to work out a solution. Besides remedying the current situation, offer a freebie, a do-over, a discount, or a credit towards another purchase. 70% of complaining customers will do business with you a second time when you deal with the problem and offer them some compensation for their trouble.
R ~ Relationship build by thanking and following up. Oftentimes, a negative experience that a customer has with your business can be salvaged and turned into an opportunity to win them over for life. Thank the client for drawing your attention to the problem, explaining that he or she has given you valuable insight into how to better serve all customers in the future. If appropriate, follow-up by phone or email within a few days to see how the solution is working out.
T ~ Think as a team. Don’t cease to talk about the complaint once you have hung up the phone with your client. Share the issue in team meetings and make changes or adjustments in company policies or customer service where needed. Learn from the experience, and improve!

And...

H = Help and Hear - You are there to Help the customer. Plain and simple. And the first (and most important) thing you do is listen. Hear the customer fully before responding. This may be the toughest part of listening. We have to make the choice to listen, especially when we are busy, preoccupied, stressed, and distracted. When you focus on the Other, pay attention to What is being said, as well as What is not being said. This includes the non-verbal signs the person is displaying, plus their feelings and tone of voice.
E = Empathy - The customer has come to you with a need, a question, a problem. Empathize with their feelings and point of view. Empathy doesn't mean agreement. It means trying to see (and feel) what the Other Person is going through. 
A = Assess the situation - Analyze what the customer is saying. Ask questions to find out: What is the problem? What does he/she need from me? Apologize as necessary.
R = Respond - Once you get what the customer needs, Respond so they know the action you are going to take. Let them know what to expect next.
T = Take action - Do what you said you would do. Then, if the situation calls for it, follow up later to see where things stand.

In addition to H.E.A.R.T. I also like the L.E.A.R.N. model:

Listen – Listen to what the customer has to say identifying the problem. 

Empathize – Empathize with the situation. 

Apologize – Apologize. 

React by giving an efficient solution. 

Notify – Notify the rest of the team about the problem so that can follow-up with the customer.

I'm not sure why this interested me, nor why I took the time to look into it, but if you need a little customer service crash-course... there ya go!

Prepare instead of plan

I got a call for a job interview yesterday. It's not until Monday, but it's something I'm pretty excited about. As I was driving to a meeting this morning I was thinking about how I might address some potential interview questions. I have no idea if it will come up (I'm not too 'up' on interviewing anymore), but one question I remember from back in the day was, "Where do you see yourself in five/ten years?" 

For me, this requires a two-part answer. First, I don't view this in terms of job title, position, or pay scale. I prefer to PREPARE myself for the future, rather than have a plan in mind. In the spirit of James chapter 4, trying to determine where or what I will be in the future can be a foolish preoccupation - especially at my age. However, preparing yourself for the future will never be out of style. So how do I prepare? 

1. LISTEN
As a follower of Christ, listening is the place I always want to start. What is God trying to say to me? Where is he leading me? How can I serve him in this time and place?

For different people, and at different times in your life, this can look completely different. I believe the decision to leave my last job fits here. As I've thought about it, it wasn't a bad job. Was I a younger man, or at a different point in my life, it would have been great. It WAS a good job for me at the time I took it. I think I reached a point where God was leading me elsewhere. That does not mean it's a bad place to work, but it wasn't a good place for me any longer.

2. LEARN
The second way to prepare for the future is to always be learning. There really is truth to the saying, "You learn something new every day." As long as we're paying attention! Once we stop learning, you might say we begin preparing to die instead.

I have been fortunate to be in a position to continue learning. My wife and I both earned degrees later in life. It keeps our minds fresh and feeds our souls. Of course, learning doesn't have to take place in a classroom. It can be done by reading, asking questions, and a general openness to new ideas and technology. We can learn much simply engaging other folks in conversation!

3. LABOR OF LOVE
Listening and learning lead to the third way to prepare for the future. It would be nice if we only had to do those things we love doing. However, again, as a follower of Christ, I'm not sure that's necessarily being faithful. Doing labors of love means doing that which we believe God has put in our heart to do.

A labor of love might be the hard work of raising a family. It might mean volunteering in an environment outside our comfort zone (but within our calling). Essentially it is living out of who he has made us to be, and leaning into the life situation we currently find ourselves. Work is good for us; working out of who we are is even better. Rather than sucking our soul dry, it FEEDS the soul and prepares us to face whatever God may have in store for us.

So, whether this ends up being an interview question or not, I'm glad my mind went here today. This is how I want to always be preparing myself for the future: listening, learning, and laboring in love.

Peace out, friends; and in.

What I want (out of a job)

I just spent the better part of an hour trying to set up a LinkedIn account. It was depressing. I feel like I have no skills and I couldn't even find a category for my present job or my interests. Plus, you know, I'm 54 years old and not exactly lighting any fires anywhere.

So I started thinking about my present position. As I've stated many times, I LIKE what I do, I just don't seem to fit very well. I think the people who run things really do care deep down, but they just don't know what to do with a malcontent like me.

The GM is a nice guy with loads of energy and enthusiasm, and I feel bad because I think he really, really, really wants me to like working for him, yet he has no idea why I don't. He tries to encourage me by offering more money and giving me gift cards and such, and doesn't understand why that doesn't motivate me. He also puts forth great effort in trying to tell me what a good job I do, but fails to recognize how patronizingly droning it comes across.

All of this has got me wondering... so what DO I want out of a job (or boss)?

There are two phrases clanging in my head as I ponder. The first is from the Christian Bible. Proverbs 29:18 in the old King James version says,

"Where there is no vision, the people perish."

I realize expecting Godly vision in a secular job is far-fetched, but I like the idea it conveys about leadership nonetheless. Putting aside biblical interpretation, the simple concept of life-giving-ness coming out of good leadership does not seem that difficult to grasp. In other words, good leaders/managers are going to know how to inspire their workforce and create an environment where people want to work. Not to do so leads to the second phrase bouncing 'round my noggin:

"People don't quit jobs, they quit bosses."

You can like what you do, but if you don't like where you do it or who you do it for... well... that's my dilemma. And, again, it's not that I don't like the person(s), but I feel like I am perishing because of a lack of direction. In other words, I don't know what I'm supposed to do!


THE MISSION -

I know my boss is frustrated with me, and he knows I am frustrated with him. That's why I have asked a couple times about a MISSION STATEMENT for the company. I could be wrong, but I think something as simple as that is what I'm looking for. It should go beyond either of us personally.

When I say I don't know what to do, I'm not saying I don't know how to talk to customers, or rent storage units, or sweep crud off a concrete floor. I DON'T KNOW WHY I'M DOING WHAT I'M DOING. I guess I am looking for the REASON; the PURPOSE; the over-arching GOAL of what the company is asking us to work towards.

I understand many people are content to just go to work and get a paycheck. I know most people are probably motivated by dangling bigger dollars in front of their face.

As for me, I suppose I'm just one of those queer folk who need something more. I want to be contributing to a team, and I want the team to be contributing to something bigger than ourselves.

So, that's a lot of words just to say... I'm going to try to put down some thoughts about mission statements in hopes of gaining more clarity about what I want.

I think company mission statements create CLARITY (for the company AND employees) - what are we about?

I think company mission statements establish IDENTITY - who are we?

I think company mission statements give DIRECTION - where are we trying to go or what are we trying to do?

A simple google search brought me to Glenn Smith's coaching page (whom I forgot I have actually rubbed shoulders with in the past). The following points come from his article HERE:

7 Reasons Your Company Needs A Clear/Written Mission Statement:

1. It determines the company's direction.
2. It focuses the company's future.
3. It provides a template for decision-making.
4. It forms the basis for alignment.
5. It welcomes helpful change.
6. It shapes strategy.
7. It facilitates evaluation and improvement.

As Glenn says, "Smart business owners use this statement to remind their teams why their company exists..."

THAT is what I am asking for more than money or perks or anything else. Are we here to provide safe, secure self-storage in a locally owned company, or do I simply go to work each day in order to make more money for the owners of the business??? I would honestly like to know.

So, my plan at the moment is to look further into mission statements. I have started noticing them everywhere I go - hospitals, restaurants, hotels, parks - just about everywhere EXCEPT on our company website! Maybe I will write a post at some point just sharing a bunch of different statements. Then, maybe I will waste some time trying to come up with some random ideas for the company I work for. I realize that sounds a little cynical, but the truth is it can't really come from someone at the bottom. But... what else have I got to do????

My three favorite ted talks

Awhile back I discovered I could get the TED channel on our Roku. TED is a nonprofit devoted to spreading ideas, usually in the form of short, powerful talks (18 minutes or less). So from time to time I will watch TED Talks while doing the treadmill. I find it quite interesting, and it's a great way to exercise my brain while exercising my body at the same time.

Recently I've found myself drawn back to some of my favorites. I decided to list them here for easier recollection. My three favorite "talks" I've seen so far are...

• 10 Ways to Have A Better Conversation - Celeste Headlee
• A Simple Way To Break A Bad Habit - Judson Brewer
• What Makes A Good Life? Lessons From the Longest Study On Happiness - Robert Waldinger

I suppose it's no coincidence these are three areas where I struggle most. I think watching them from time to time will be a good way to improve. Hopefully.

Situational leadership

I'm still sharing bits and pieces from the Leading & Managing class. Another area that resonated with me during my most recent coaching class was the discussion of the 'Situational Leadership Model II' from Ken Blanchard (pictured below). According to our instructor, coaching is most necessary in quadrant 3. Of course this assumes a definite need to lead/manage from a chess mentality as opposed to checker. Not only is everyone different, but we are all at different places at different times in our lives.

Some ways to apply the SL II model are to consider the following questions:

1. Who in your organization right now is in Development Level 1? What do they need from you?

2. Who is a D2? What do they need from you?

3. Who is a D3? What do they need from you?

4. Who is a D4? What do they need from you?

5. As a manager, when is coaching not appropriate? (New employees, or people you can't force it upon)

6. In your current role, which development level are you? What do you need from your manager?

Good stuff to think about...

A chess vs checkers leadership approach

I shared in a post a couple weeks ago that I was going to upload a few things I learned from my latest coaching class on managing & leading. One of those things was the difference between leading/managing from a chess perspective vs. a checkers perspective.

Chess and checkers are similar board games - they even share the same board - but the way they are played is very different. The biggest difference is in the game pieces themselves. In checkers all the pieces move the same way and have the same function (they're all alike!). Anyone who wants to win at chess, on the other hand, has to first learn how each piece moves - from the pawn, to the rook, to the knight, to the queen and king. Each piece is unique, and each has different strengths and weaknesses. In order to play chess you need to understand the ability of each piece and what it brings to the table. Bobby Fisher, the great chess champion, once said, "Winning in this game is all a matter of understanding how to capitalize on the strengths of each piece and timing their moves just right." 

This is a picture of good leadership. Great leaders understand that you can't get the best out of people with a "checkers" mindset - treating them all alike, expecting the same things out of each of them, handling them like some generic product on a shelf - you have to discover what is unique about each person and capitalize on it.

Each individual person has different strengths and weaknesses, different "triggers" (what motives them), different personalities, and different learning styles. A wise leader/manager will take these things into account; the poor leader/manager will not (and will wonder why they fail to get better results).

I believe this is a very subtle, yet profound, perspective when it comes to leading and/or managing people. Certainly you don't want this to become a way to "use" people, but to not take this approach shows a lack of respect for others and little concern for the organization as a whole.

Things that aren't right... but are

Many things bubbling around today...

Tuesdays are good days for me. I start out the day either doing coaching or being coached, and after an 8-hour day of paycheck-earning, I will now be participating in a men's Bible Study every Tuesday evening.

In the meantime, there were two articles in particular that really caught my attention this morning and summed up a load of thought....

Daughter Carrie shared a link to Allison Vesterfelt's post on the Storyline blog. It's one I want to remember for the coaching practice. The title is 'The Most Destructive Thing You Can Believe About Yourself.' It's a good article, and fairly short read. I really like this piece from the end:

In order to help each other grow and blossom into our own, miraculous selves, we have to learn to trust ourselves, to stop thinking of ourselves as “only bad all the time.” We have to learn to help each other, in community, get beneath the noise of fear and get to the quiet wisdom we carry inside. 

THAT is what I want to accomplish with the coaching I do!

Then I stumbled upon this excerpt from Rachel Held Evan's' new book 'Searching For Sunday.' This would probably be the only thing to ever get me back into a church leadership position. I tried it once, though, and the people I trusted most ended up really burning me in the end, so... I don't know. Still, it sounds good.

As she points out, "It's strange that Christians so rarely talk about failure when we claim to follow a guy whose three-year ministry was cut short by his crucifixion." Hmm... Yeah. And she continues...

I often wonder if the role of the clergy in this age is not to dispense information or guard the prestige of their authority, but rather to go first, to volunteer the truth about their sins, their dreams, their failures, and their fears in order to free others to do the same. Such an approach may repel the masses looking for easy answers from flawless leaders, but I think it might make more disciples of Jesus... There is a difference, after all, between preaching success and preaching resurrection..."

 

In many ways that summed up my ministry efforts. 

 

Anyway, I am attempting to elevate my thinking nowadays. I'd like to use the blog more to help others do the same for themselves. So we'll see. You just never know.

How I would run a business

Yes, I know I can be somewhat of an idealist at times... but I'd like to think you can still run a business in this country on the basis of: offering a quality product, treating people right, and excellent customer service. Certainly businesses in a capitalist society are geared towards making money, but I believe too many concentrate so much on the financial aspect that they fail to realize how the aforementioned factor into that. For instance, I think you CAN ask a decent price for something... IF you're offering a quality product, treating people right, and giving excellent customer service.

I like the company I work for, and I think most of the leaders would say they believe the same thing... but that's not always conveyed down the line. Sometimes it sounds like money is the sole concern. So you have to factor into any company how well the leadership clarifies and conveys their values.

Anyway, maybe I'm just a fool. I really have no experience in running a business. But I still want to believe in those three values.

Isaac to emory

I hope it's okay that I go ahead and make the announcement... but it sounds as though son Isaac has accepted a full ride to study at the Candler School of Theology at Emory University. We are very proud and excited!

He and Ricci took a scheduled visit to Vanderbilt earlier this week. He said it was nice - and Nashville would have been a nice place to live - but they drove from there straight to Atlanta so Isaac could show Ricci around the Emory campus and the city. This has always been his first choice among grad schools, they gave him the best deal, and I think maybe they both kind of fell in love with it. So yesterday he signed on the dotted line.

They are now looking for housing - hopefully beginning mid to late summer - and a teaching job for Ricci. She speaks both English and Spanish (having majored in both at Anderson University and living in Spain for two summers).

I'm sure there will be many adjustments, but I think this will be a really fun and exciting time for them. Proud papa (and mama).

"Nice" leaders

I saw this quote posted on someone's Facebook wall (Maybe John H. Armstrong). Wow. How true. Simply wanted a place to store it.

"In any type of institution whatsoever, when a self-directed, imaginative, energetic, or creative member is being consistently frustrated and sabotaged rather than encouraged and supported, what will turn out to be true one hundred percent of the time, regardless of whether the disrupters are supervisors, subordinates , or peers, is that the person at the very top of that institution is a peace -monger. By that I mean a highly anxious risk-avoider, someone who is more concerned with good feelings than with progress, someone whose life revolves around the axis of consensus, a “middler,” someone who is so incapable of taking well-defined stands that his “disability” seems to be genetic, someone who functions as if she had been filleted of her backbone, someone who treats conflict or anxiety like mustard gas—one whiff, on goes the emotional gas mask, and he flits. Such leaders are often “nice,” if not charming." A Failure of Nerve

Blemishes in christian character

Tim Keller has a nice little ditty on his redeemer blog called 'Blemishes in Christian Character: A List For Self-Examination.' Ouch, ouch, and more ouch. But very insightful, and helpful to yours truly.

He bases it on a letter from 18th Century Anglican minister John Newton. Keller comes up with an expanded list, complete with "slightly humorous Latin names" for each of the 'blemishes.'

I think this is good stuff. It convicted the heck out of me, and I need that on occasion. I believe character is highly important to our Christian witness (if not THE most important thing). I think it is something we should constantly be working at, and, frankly, am surprised by the number of people who don't think they have any control over it. You can definitely develop your character (and integrity, as well as competency, even). But it takes effort, humility, prayer, and the ability to keep from sticking your head in the sand (or up your ass) to acknowledge that we are works in progress.

The entire post is worth the read, but here is the list of 'blemishes'...

Austerus is a solid and disciplined Christian, but abrasive, critical and ungenerous in dealing with people, temperamental, seldom giving compliments and praise, and almost never gentle.

Infitialis is a person of careful and deliberate character, but habitually cynical, negative, and pessimistic, always discouraging (“that will never work”), unsupportive and vaguely unhappy.

Pulsus is passionate, but also impulsive and impatient, not thinking things through, speaking too soon, always quick to complain and lodge a protest, often needing to apologize for rash statements.

Querulus is a person of strong convictions, but known to be very opinionated, a poor listener, argumentative, not very teachable, and very slow to admit they were wrong.

Subjectio is a resourceful and ambitious person, but also someone who often shades the truth, puts a lot of spin on things (close to misrepresentation), is very partisan, self-promoting, and turf-conscious.

Potestas gets things done, but needs to control every situation, has trouble sharing power, has a need to do everything him or herself, and is very suspicious and mistrustful of others.

Fragilis is friendly and seeks friends, but constantly gets his or her feelings hurt, easily feels slighted and put down, is often offended and upset by real and imagined criticism by others.

Curiosus is very sociable, but enjoys knowing negative things about people, finds ways of passing the news on, may divulge confidences, and enjoys confrontation too much.

Volatilis is very kind-hearted and eager to help, but simply not reliable—isn’t punctual, doesn’t follow through on promises, is always over-extended, and as a result may do shoddy work.