People are the worst (or, parking lot perils)

This parking lot gig is getting to me. At least after next weekend the season will be half over! As it stands, there are still 39 regular season home games remaining on the schedule (out of 70). I don't know if I can make it.

Anyone who knows me knows I am the volunteer coordinator for our church parking lot during minor league baseball season. Somehow the owners of the parking lot where our church meets have a deal worked out with the baseball team and the church where, if we provide people to work the lot, the baseball team gives us 4 season tickets and the parking lot owners donate the proceeds back to the church. I suppose it's a good deal for all involved, and maybe if there were a better coordinator it might be worth it... but it is making me someone I don't want to be.

Oh sure, I like being able to get in free to just about any ballgame I want to. And there's a part of me that likes being "in charge" of something and giving away free tickets (or at least trying to). I don't even mind the interaction with people while working the lot... for awhile. But I think the season is just too long. Plus the various issues of dealing with volunteers, taking care of the money, record-keeping and whatnot. Not to mention having to put up with the church secretary... There simply aren't enough peanuts and cracker jacks to appease me any longer. Not when it pays absolutely nothing and the only benefit is free tickets to games I rarely attend and a 'thank you' at the end of the season.

The absolute WORST games to work are the day games where we have to KEEP people from parking there. It's an employee parking lot for a large downtown company, and none of the usual lots for evening games are available during day games. People get downright nasty when there is no parking to be found!

After this week, I've decided the second-worst games are when there is also a church event going on. Every other Tuesday the church offers a free meal to the under-served of the city. For the most part these people are all very polite and there aren't a lot of volunteers. This past Tuesday there was a homeless guy laying in the parking lot when I arrived. It was a hot day and I assumed he was just trying to find some shade. Sure enough, he was waiting for the meal. There were a number of cars that I could tell chose to park elsewhere when they caught sight of him sleeping on the premises. I didn't blame them, but I didn't feel like there was much I could do.

Last night (Wednesday) was even worse. There is a teen recovery group that rents our building, and they bring in not only a lot of teenagers, but a TON of volunteers. They don't have to pay to park in the lot, so it's somewhat of a challenge trying to figure out who is who sometimes - though most people will just say why they are there. The teens are all fairly distant and ignore me - which is fine. It's the volunteers and some of the people who bring the teens that are the worst (not all, mind you, but enough).

I understand people being a little confused at first (do they have to pay too? No) but it has always been like this. On night's there is a game, we HAVE to charge people to park there for the game, otherwise the parking lot would be completely full of stadium workers and attendees. Somehow these volunteers don't realize I am actually SAVING them a place to park - for free! So the leers, and the things people say just loud enough for me to hear... and then just the downright rudeness... I don't get that. One cheery couple, who you could tell thought they were saving the world by volunteering to help, actually moved the barricades from the other entrance so they could get in the back way. They told me they had done so, but failed to mention they'd left the barricades to the side and the entrance open!!! I wanted to smack their pretty little smiles right off their faces!

Anyway, I know I was just in a bad mood. I was tired and grumpy and can tend to overreact when I get that way. I know that most people mean well, and there were plenty of very nice ones there last night too. This entire post is somewhat of an exaggeration. Perhaps the only real truth is the level of frustration I feel and my need to step away after this season. I make matters worse due to my intensity. I am unable to roll with the punches, or go with the flow, the way most people can.

So, in the end, I know that people are not the worst (well, most of them). I also know *I* am not the worst (most of the time). But working this parking lot for this many games a year is not good for me. It's probably not good for anybody. And to think... tonight is dollar beer night!! Ugh.

Monday morning miniscules

I think every day last week I was going to post some sort of "tidbits" type thing. Wednesday Words, Thursday Thoughts, Friday Fragments, etc... I made it back around to Monday, so I guess it's 'miniscules.' I think that's a proper term for "mini thoughts." Either which way, that's about all I can seem to muster at the moment.

• I don't know how it is I seem so busy anymore. I mean, I feel like I'm doing nothing with my life, yet I seem busier than I've ever been. It makes no sense.

• I suppose the summer baseball schedule doesn't help. At least the minor league season is almost half over. The middle of June will mark 35 of the 70 home games scheduled. I still do enjoy working the parking lot. It's dealing with volunteers, staff, and the money that are the difficult parts for me.

• My marathon training started last week. I follow an 18-week program of 4 days running per week. Last week was 3 miles on Tuesday and Thursday, 5 miles on Wednesday, and 8 miles Saturday. This week will be the same but I add a mile on Saturday.

• I feel good except I can't seem to shake the blister on my right foot. I had it in the same exact spot last year and I just can't pinpoint what's causing it. It's between the ball of my foot and my big toe. It doesn't really hurt or anything, but it's annoying and takes time to "deal with" every day. This weekend I ordered some of those "toe socks" that I will wear for my long runs at least.

• Another thing I've become involved in is the 'preaching team' at church. I think there are 6 of us (including the pastor). One thing I'd been encouraging the pastor to do was to preach less on Sunday mornings. He already knew he should, but it's one of those things he enjoys, and I think it's maybe hard for him to let other people do it. So it may be a big step for everyone involved. Anyway, about every 5th week or so one of the other of us will preach that Sunday. There are 4 men and 2 women, and all of us have experience with public speaking, and all the men have served as pastors at some point. It will be interesting, but I'm not overly confident in it ever coming to fruition. We'll see.

• On a completely different note... one morning last week I mistakenly woke up at 2:45 a.m. and thought it was 3:45. My alarm goes off at 3:50 a.m., and I will often wake up just before. I thought that's what happened. Just as I was leaving for work I checked the calendar on my phone and it said I was to be at work in an hour and a half. I was like, "what?!" Sure enough, it was only 3:30, instead of 4:30. It's really hard to take an hour nap at 3:30 in the morning after getting yourself ready to GO. Anyway, I sat on the couch with the cat and maybe got in a 10-minute "cat nap."

•  I am writing this at work on a Monday morning and I was just interrupted by several people wanting to chat. One is the bike mechanic across from me who has traveled the world and leads an interesting life, and the other two are members who come to the Y to work out. Anyway, for as much as I get discouraged by my boss, I actually really like working here. It allows me to rub shoulders with some quite interesting characters. Of course, I'm sure I will want to quit by the end of the day...

•  I almost forgot that Jane and Carrie (and the kids) went back to Illinois this past weekend to visit my parents. They both ran in the 1st ever 5k in Buda, and Jane was actually the first woman finisher! She said it was the most difficult 5k she'd ever run due to hills and a few logistical elements, and she wasn't very happy with her time. But still... she won!

I suppose I could go on for some time now that I've actually taken the time to write. That's the way it goes, and why I need to be better about forcing something out on a more regular basis again. We'll see. Now I should probably do some work... so here's a thought I've been pondering since Friday:

"To doubt everything or to believe everything are two equally convenient solutions; both dispense with the necessity of reflection." - Henri Poincare

Friday frazzle (for you three)

I heard a joke some time ago. It goes like this:
"There may be no 'I' in 'team,' but there's three of you ("u") in 'Shut the f*&k up!"

I apologize for the (alleged) foul language, but that sentiment has been running through my veins lately. I have been frazzled and I've run out of more than just bubble gum... I simply can't LISTEN or be around people anymore!

Rest assured, today has been better. It's my short day of work (5 am - 9 am), and we're heading into a three-day weekend. But the last two weeks have taken their toll on me. I was running pretty ragged the last few days.

The reasons have to do with work changes, church responsibilities, and my own issues with setting boundaries.

WORK CHANGES
We got some new equipment at work, and it has completely changed my day-to-day job (though I'm not sure anyone knows this, much less the negative effect it is having on me). Not only had I just taken on more responsibility in the membership area of my job, but with this new equipment we are now required to take everyone through a 30-minute orientation to use it. I have lost track of how many people we've processed, but just in the first three days we had taken over 100 people through the orientation. This requires much more of me, but also the addition of more staff.

I used to be the only staff person there for the first 2-4 hours of each day. Lately there has been someone there an hour after I arrive, and while I like this person and they are good at what they do, they talk NON-STOP!

So, not only am I not there by myself, but I have more responsibilities (with the new equipment and onboarding), I have to deal with new staff, and there are just more people in general. I know it's not the end of the world, but quite honestly, IT WEARS ME OUT. Being around people wears me out, the work wears me out, simply having to listen to someone talk to me wears me out.

Again, it's not that I dislike the work, or the people... but it puts a strain on someone with my personality. I honestly don't know how much more of it I can take.

CHURCH RESPONSIBILITIES
On top of this, there are the added responsibilities at church. I have started meeting with the pastor once a week. He is a great person, but... we are kind of two very different people. So it's a bit of a challenge for me trying to be helpful to him. And I want to be... It's just going to take some time.

We are also now doing the weekly chore of trying to find someone to pray for each Sunday service, as well as three people to help with communion each week. While it's not terribly difficult, it's just another thing to do.

Plus we just ended an eight-game home stand last night doing the parking lot for the minor league baseball team. That means - at least - I have to have the money bag ready, set up the parking lot, and collect the money after the game... for each and every game. Some nights I work the parking lot too (either alone or with Jane). It's usually at least 8 pm by the time I'm done, and I have to get up at 3:50 a.m. each morning.

BOUNDARIES
I think you can probably surmise that the common thread in the first two parts of this are... my struggle with setting boundaries for myself. I know how much I can take, and I've been spreading myself too thin. Especially with my marathon training beginning next week!

So... what I need to work at is:

• Better communication with my boss. I will be the first to admit, I have a hard time talking to him. I don't have a lot of respect for him, and whether that's warranted or not, I need to be better about speaking for myself and communicating well. There is no room for pouting or the proving-of-points.
• The parking lot responsibility has got to go. I have already shared with the pastor that this will be my last year being responsible for the parking lot for baseball games. While I actually do enjoy working the lot during games, it is more work than I anticipated. That's made worse by a string of games all in a row. It just doesn't jibe well with my sleep schedule. Plus, the time commitment is more than I care to commit to. Mostly, though, is that I think I would rather spend my time on "church stuff" in the area of actual kingdom/disciple-making stuff, rather than making money for... wherever it is it goes.
• In general, though, I just need to continue working at speaking my mind without being rude or overly sensitive. It's difficult for me to set boundaries because I am overly afraid of hurting someone's feelings. However, that also makes me prone to just be downright mean when I let it build up for too long. It's a problem I've always had, and while I may make strides here and there, it's something I still need to work on.

So, there ya go. That's where I'm at on this Friday. Yesterday seemed to last a decade, but at least there is hope for tomorrow. Hopefully.

Now, for you three...

Striking out in the parking lot

I am in year two as the volunteer coordinator for our church parking lot (during minor league baseball games). If I make it to the end of the year - and that's a pretty big "if" at the moment - this will also be my final year. I informed the pastor yesterday.

I admit, maybe this was a bad idea to begin with. When the church was searching for someone last year, it seemed like a good idea. I am dependable and trustworthy. I thought this would be the perfect way for me to serve in the church, as well as maybe help me build some confidence that I could actually take on a project again (successfully).

Unfortunately, only a month into the season and I am frustrated, making other people frustrated, and I have no joy. Part of me wishes I could quit now, but the other part recognizes that's not fair to the church or myself.

The problem: Well, I know I am over-reacting, and also way too sensitive. I was told when I started that they had a bad system, which is why the last person quit. So over the course of last season and into this one I tried to gradually install some subtle changes to make things better. As is the case with most things though - especially church things - those changes are ruffling some feathers and I'm just not in the mood to deal with it anymore. For a church that is so non-traditional, they sure have a lot of tradionalism.

Other than the others, though, the biggest problem is me. I simply don't want to deal with it anymore. I consider the experiment a failure and it's time to move on. It did not instill confidence but instead has made me realize I struggle getting along with certain types of people. Even though I actually do enjoy working in the parking lot, that's apparently not what "they" want. Ultimately, it's too hard on me trying to deal with people who aren't happy with me or who are constantly trying to undermine what I do.

So, I will do things the way the "powers that be" want them done, try to find some joy in the remaining games I work the lot, and the rest of the time do my best to keep my tail between my legs. It's unfortunate, but not the end of the world. I failed, but that doesn't mean I'm a failure.

And there ya go.

Holy week journey 2019

A funny thing happened on my way to Easter Sunday this year. I wrote about my less-than-stellar Palm Sunday experience here, and the week wound downhill from there (albeit with a few nice moments along the way).

DAVID GILMOUR LITURGY
As with so many things, I had good intentions for this Holy Week being different. I was ready to "get back into it." Prior to Palm Sunday I even prepared this little piece to share regarding my annual 'David Gilmour Holy Week Liturgy.'

Here it is, almost Easter again. I'm not big on bonnets or bunnies or being in my Sunday best, but those who know me know the entire Holy Week drama is quite possibly the pinnacle of practicality in my mind when it comes to melding creation to Creator, meaning to Mystery, and the very essence of life everlasting to the Everything. It is quite possibly my favorite week of the year (though not in a happy-clappy sorta way).

Anyway, something I started doing a number of years ago is this Holy Week David Gilmour Liturgy. I choose a DG song and pair it with a Scripture verse to go along with each of the days of Holy week. It's something I am quite proud of, actually. I've even contemplated writing an ebook or devotional. Every year I post it in some form or other between Palm Sunday and Easter Sunday. And... every year I hear comments (or at least imagine them) wondering what in the world I mean by it. Am I being sarcastic, sacrilegious, or serious?

Well, I thought I would try to offer an explanation this year. Though it will be difficult because I'm not sure I understand it myself. What I do know, though, is I am not intending to idolize anyone's music, nor do I mean to slight the Savior. I guess... to me... when I mix the emotion of the moments from history, with the sacred stirrings of Scripture and artistic expression of song 'maybe' intended for something totally other (I don't know)... my personal belief is that the listener/participant is able to create from it their own soul sauna and bathe in it's beauty however they like. I mean, how bad can it be for God and Gilmour to mix it up for the Good of us all??

Anyway, you can think of Holy Week however you want, but for me, there is nothing that better represents every day, every year, every life that has ever existed... than what this week represents. And I'm looking for all the help I can get to transport me from birth to death and back again! I guess that's what I intend for the Holy Week David Gilmour Liturgy. It's a way to help me embrace the season with as much depth and intensity as I can. Which I feel it merits.

So... if anyone is still reading this redundant ramble... I hope that sheds a little light on what my posts will be about this coming week. You are free to read and listen if you like with each day's posting. Or... not. Whatever you choose, happy Holy Week, my friends... And a boat-load of peace to ya!

Well, if we are FB friends, you know it didn't happen (I didn't share the above piece or any DG music). Even after I decided against it on Palm Sunday, I still intended to do the Maundy Thursday to Easter Sunday version. I did not, and maybe it's time to put it to rest.

WORK AND THE PARKING LOT
It was as I stood in the parking lot in a downpour Thursday evening that I decided to nix the whole Easter week liturgy altogether. Actually, maybe even before that.

I found out mid-week that two of my co-workers are leaving. While I don't blame either one of them, I was bummed about it. Then late Wednesday night my boss sent me a message wondering if I could cover part of his shift at the desk so he could attend his church's Good Friday service. That in and of itself wasn't so bad, but the fact that I was spending Maundy Thursday working from 5 a.m. to 2 p.m. and then working the parking lot at church from ~ 5 p.m. to 7:30 p.m. - with no chance for a run in between - and then I wasn't going to be able to attend the Good Friday breakfast put on by the Y (that he was going to attend); plus I wasn't going to be able to attend either of my church's Good Friday services because of work and the parking lot.... Well, you know me, I handled it in my typical selfishly juvenile way: I got mad.

I didn't respond to the boss until Thursday (hoping I would cool off a little). I simply told him I could stay late, but asked if I could get off at 1 p.m. on Thursday. Well, I wasn't able to leave early Thursday, and to top it off, Thursday was our "Member Appreciation Day" at work, and I was going to be there by myself to get everything ready and deal with the whole thing (until 2 pm). So when he asked if I was still going to be able to work late Friday, naturally I said, "I guess. I suppose one of us should get to attend a Good Friday service."

Yes, I know it was a passive aggressive response. And he did eventually realize that since he had attended his church's Maundy Thursday service, the Good Friday breakfast, and he was able to attend the evening Good Friday service at his church... he actually let me off at noon Friday so I could attend our service. He's not a bad person, just doesn't think things through very often.

MAUNDY THURSDAY IN THE RAIN
So....... that's a long curve back to Thursday evening. Someone had actually signed up to help with the parking lot, and, fortunately, they did not show up. I'm sure the fact that it rained all afternoon/evening Thursday was part of the reason. I also think they weren't mentally or physically capable of doing it anyway (so why would they sign up???). So, I spent the evening standing in the rain in the parking lot -- and only had FOUR CARS the entire night! They eventually cancelled the game anyway, but this experience was not worth the stinking $20 it raised for the church youth group (which is another thing because I'm not entirely sure who the youth group is, where the money goes, who decides how it's used, how it gets there, etc., etc., etc.). I ended up going home a little after 7, eating supper, having a glass of wine, and crawling into bed.

GOOD FRIDAY
Aaaaaaaanyway... Friday came at the usual 3:50 a.m. and I went to work and did my thing. I actually had a great time of reading/journaling my Lenten devotions. The entire journey this season with Scott Cairnes' little book 'Love's Immensity: Mystics on the Endless Life' has been overwhelmingly good. It's amazing the places it can take me each morning. I've been tempted to share some of my journal entries here but feel it important they be kept between me and Thee.

At some point Friday morning I did finally burp this out onto Facebook, accompanied by Jakob Dylan's video of "Nothing But The Whole Wide World." (video link)

 I've always had this thing for Holy Week (well, always for awhile anyway). Especially Thursday/Friday/Saturday... much moreso than the big and bright Easter Sunday extravaganzas. I'm sure part of the draw for a sadly shy introvert like myself is that it's one of the few times people are actually ENCOURAGED toward silent meditation and a somewhat subversive wrestling with mysteries below the surface of everyday television tripe. We have to slow down, think about feet, and drag a tree up a hill in our underwear (mentally... only mentally)... Anyway, the last 5-10 years I've been doing this 'David Gilmour Holy Week Liturgy' each year - which I'm sure ya'all have missed this year (another story). This year though... or this week... my attention has been caught up in a line from this Jakob Dylan song. I was actually reminded of it by a guy who's been dead nearly 700 years, but I've always loved this song (at least since 2010), and how the son of the legend himself (Bob) originally wrote it for Glen Campbell to record. There are lots of parallel lines, but this one - "Got nothing to lose but rivets and chains/Got nothing but the whole wide world to gain" - that's my Holy Week mantra this year right there! It's like a sum-up of the whole dang shebang! I'm sure I hear it in a way Jakob wasn't intending (maybe), and isn't that perfectly fitting on something called "Good Friday" when we celebrate a guy dying (and... drink his blood?). So, yeah.... well... before darkness appears to consume us... and his body transfigures to a peep... if your hope is being hammered and you're hangin' by a thread... Remember... It's Friday. And we've got nothing but the whole wide world to gain. Peace out; and in.

I did get off work at noon, and I accompanied Lady Jane to the 12:30 p.m. Good Friday service at our church. It was nothing but music (recorded), responsive prayer readings, the Scripture reading, and communion. I don't know why, but I had tears streaming and was on the verge of outright bawling almost the entire service. It was that good - in a moving sort of way. Here is a link to the playlist used from Spotify. The music itself was intense, but with the readings and Scripture... it was amazing.

THE JEHOVAH WITNESS INVITE
Perhaps one of the best things to happen to me this entire Lenten season also happened Friday. I was invited to the Jehovah Witness Commemoration Service honoring Jesus' death! One of the bike mechanics that works in my building is a 20-something Jehovah Witness. We are cordial with one another and I like her. Yet it was so completely sweet, and I could tell took a lot of nerve, when she finally came over to my desk and invited me to this service. Her face was blanched red and she was shaking... She knows I used to be a pastor - and I don't know if that maybe would have earned her more points or something (I don't think so), or if she thought this might make a difference, or what - but I could tell it was a big deal, and it actually was a big deal to me. I have no interest in joining their group, but felt quite honored that she would invite me - just like I feel honored when atheists and agnostics interact and engage me in religious discussions.

Of course, naturally, my boss walked in - after just getting back from the Y Good Friday breakfast - and totally missed the importance of an evangelical Christian interacting positively with a Jehovah Witness. He started going on and on about Easter, and the Christian speaker at the breakfast and whatnot. Again, he's not a bad guy, just not so very aware most of the time.

FRIDAY NIGHT
Friday ended up being a double-header baseball game, so I was back at the parking lot not too long after leaving church. It was another slow night. Jane eventually joined me, and after we'd parked only about 20 cars, we left around 7:30 p.m. and went to our usual Friday night spot. We had supper and drinks and fell asleep in the basement.

SATURDAY
Today - oh yeah... it's supposed to be "Silent Saturday." Normally I wouldn't share anything on this day when 'Christ is in the grave.' Yet, this year.... meh.

We went to the Y and did our weekly long run (9 miles) because it's raining and I'm not up to running in the rain just yet. There's supposed to be a 1:05 baseball game today, and someone volunteered last-minute to work the lot. I told her to just block it off and don't worry about taking any money, but left the money bag with her just in case. I'm not sure what she'll do. And, honestly, I really don't care.

I need to take a shower now because I'm a sweaty mess. After that I'm thinking a nap may be in order.

Tomorrow involves the Easter breakfast at church at 9:30 a.m., the Easter Egg Hunt at 10, and the worship service at 10:30. I believe the Feipel's are coming over afterward for lunch, and.... that's about that.

So... that's the long story of this short week so far. Harumpf.

This is where I am

I've been taking a little stock of my life lately. Quite frankly, because I'm feeling a tad thin. Not in weight, but endurance. I/we seem to have had a lot going on for awhile, and we are both somewhat worn down a little.

In analyzing why, I thought it might be helpful to simply assess where I am... what I am currently involved with. There are really only four main areas:

WORK
I have been fortunate to be getting full-time hours at the Y. They haven't exactly been 'stable' in that I've had to do some switching of shifts and covering for the boss while he was on vacation, but at least it's getting better.

My "normal" (if there is such a thing) routine is to open three days a week (5am-1pm), work noon-5pm on Wednesday, and 9am-5pm Friday. That leaves me a little wiggle room in case I need to cover for someone else. Although... last week I opened every day at 5 am.

THE PARKING LOT
I am happy to note that baseball season is over halfway done! Hurray! There are still twenty-some home games left, but I can at least imagine a light at the end of this tunnel.

About every other week/weekend there is a 6-game home-stand where I have to oversee the parking lot beside our church. I've shared before how it doesn't really belong to the church, but whoever owns it allows us to run it and then donates the money to the church youth group (apparently we have one). For some silly reason I volunteered to oversee the 70-game home schedule and take care of set-up/tear-down, scheduling volunteers, counting and dispensing the money collected, as well as any other special circumstances (like when we have to share the lot or allow for other events to take place simultaneously).

It hasn't been 'terrible,' but it is starting to wear on me. The worst part is when I have to stay late at the lot - and out in the hot sun - and then get up at 4 the next morning for work. I probably average 2-4 hours per game, and it doesn't really make any difference if someone else is taking the tickets or not. Set-up and handling the money are the two biggest chores.

If I do this again next year there are some changes I'd like to make. One is to maybe have some other people involved. If, say, three different people each took a couple months at a time, that would help. We will see.

RUNNING
Another time-consuming aspect of my life has been training for this marathon. It just takes time to run. I am currently at 4/7/4 during the week (4 miles Tuesday/7 Wednesday/4 Thursday), and a long run on Saturday. This coming Saturday I am scheduled to do 14 miles. Those numbers will increase as the weeks pass (sometimes taking a brief step back before going up further).

My legs/knees/feet actually feel pretty good. I just feel a little run-down though (no pun intended). I don't know if it's lack of sleep, too much vodka, or a combination of things. At any rate, this is an area of my life I don't want to let slide. I've had a full marathon on my wish-list for too long, and this is the furthest I've gotten so far. So, again, we will see. It feels good to have something I am working at/towards.

COACHING GROUP
The only other thing taking up time in my life is my Thursday coaching group. I am a participant in this group, and I suppose it could be called a "discipleship coaching group." My pastor leads it, and it's with people from all over the country. There are probably a half dozen of us. I believe he started doing this as a part of 3dm, but has since left that organization (for the same reasons I soured on it).

It really only requires an hour a week for the actual internet gathering, but there is outside reading and homework. I am somewhat enjoying it, actually. It's just one of those things I need to schedule.

OTHERWISE
Beyond that... I do still meet with Tom once a week for breakfast. Hopefully this will be a lifelong thing. We've been doing it... I don't know... since 1999. It is still good for my soul, and probably helps me in ways I don't even think about.

I've been trying to read at least several days per week. I can't recall the name of the book right now - something about 'The Discipleship Difference' by Robert Logan. It's not bad, for a church book.

Otherwise... I try to sleep or nap, and keep my commitments to a minimum. I'm trying to make this the marathon summer. It is occasionally interrupted with visits to the parents and others, and I don't really consider them interruptions. Eventually the parking lot will end, the marathon will be done, and then I hope to enjoy some boring evenings on the couch with the love of my life again.

So, there ya go.

The parking lot

We are just below lots G & R

Yes, I know I haven't been keeping up with the blog. Life has been weird lately. I've had a LOT to do.

One thing that's been keeping me/us busy is manning a parking lot for minor league baseball games. Last week I was there for a game every day from Saturday through Thursday (Jane was for all but Wednesday). Fortunately, the team is out of town this weekend.

Basically we have somewhere around 100 parking spots (+/-) next to our church building, and we charge $4 per car to park there for Tincaps baseball games (except during weekday games - then we have to be there to make sure people DO NOT park there - because it is permit parking only for two companies).

My main responsibilities (I guess) are to make sure there are at least two people there by 1 1/2 hours before the game, and they stay until 20-30 minutes after it starts. I set up signs and barricades so there is only one way in and out of the lot (instead of two). I am also responsible for having the money/change needed and settling it after the game (plus going to the bank as needed). Volunteers get four free tickets (total - not per volunteer) for being there for roughly two hours. I then keep track of all the tickets used and not used (which we can trade in later).

So far there have only been two people sign up to help - and neither of them showed up! Strangely enough, one guy who hadn't signed up did show up to work the Wednesday 'day' game - and he was so confused I'm not sure he ever did really know what he was supposed to do.

I'm still not sure I completely understand the workings of who owns the lot and whatnot. Our church does not own it, but somehow, if we will take care of it, we eventually get the money for it for our youth (I have no idea how that works either).

Anyway, my summer of being the "parking lot guy" has started off.... about like I suspected. It's been good and bad. I actually don't mind doing it myself - at least at the start. It takes me awhile to get the feel of things, so I'm actually glad people haven't been signing up to help just yet. Plus it's been pretty cold still, so I didn't expect there to be much help. However, honestly, the biggest problem I've had so far are the well-intentioned people who believe they need to try to explain to me what I need to be doing (you know, because, I must obviously be doing it wrong).

I have plenty of experience in not meeting people's expectations, so you'd think I would be more used to it. Instead I just seem to get more and more sensitive. I would like to think I am forever over the days of trying to guilt people into doing things. Plus I would 'like' to start asking people personally if they want to help - rather than making pulpit announcements - but I have trouble doing it when I'm feeling "small." I guess what I'm basically saying is... all the people trying to give me advice are actually making me not want to do it anymore. And I know that is my problem - I should appreciate the advice. I just don't deal with it very well. Plus, again, so far I've enjoyed simply having the responsibility of being there. It's something I can actually DO. I'm sure it will all work out in the next couple months.

So, six (home) games into the season, we are down to only 64 more to go. The jury is still out on whether I will stick with it after this summer, or if I will even be asked to. We will see.