To be a moral human being...

I was feeling defeated as I arrived at work the other morning. One of the first things I do is walk through the locker rooms at 4:45 to make sure everything is in order. I don't normally notice, but on this day I caught a glimpse of myself in the mirror. Man, I look tired.

I am tired, actually. Tired of wearing a mask all day every day. Tired of the "new normal" that is life during a pandemic. Tired of a meaningless job working for people who don't care. Tired of trying when it seems the powers that be are trying harder. Tired of the unrest in the world and our city. Tired of every day reading about the president fanning more flame into hate, division, and controversy.

Life can be a little exhausting right now, and it's tempting to try to block everything out. However, I happened onto this article by Maria Popova: 'Susan Sontag on Her Advice to Writers.' I think it's helpful for more than just writers.

Popova notes that Sontag "spent a lifetime contemplating the role of writing in both the inner world of the writer and the outer universe of readers, which we call culture..."

There is one sentence in particular that leapt off the page and slapped me awake:

"To be a moral human being is to pay, be obliged to pay, certain kinds of attention."

She notes that, for people who write, there is the opportunity to sort of stop time and see exactly where they are in relation to everything else. Judgments can be made because you can see that this is more important than that, at this given time. You can see it because it's what you are writing about; it's what you are focused on.

So it seems Sontag is saying... to be a moral human being, we need to be able to pay attention to what is most important at any given time. Perspective.

For instance, there is much turmoil in the United States right now: The pandemic, another case of police brutality, the protestors, rioters, and any number of other would-be distractors from who knows what. The question is... are we paying attention to the right thing(s)?

There are pleas for people to "stop the madness"... but is it the madness of breaking windows and gathering in the streets or the "madness" that has been forged upon minorities and poor folk generation after generation.

It's like the difference between saying: "It's horrible that an innocent black man was killed, but destroying property has to stop" versus "It's horrible that property is being destroyed, but killing innocent black men has to stop." Do you see the difference?

Are we able to pay attention anymore? Are we able to discern right from wrong?

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Anyway, this whole situation reminds me of the book of Micah in the Christian Bible. Micah was an Old Testament prophet who spoke up against unjust leaders to defend the rights of the poor. Some of his most well-known words are in chapter six and verse 8, "...To act justly... love mercy and to walk humbly with your God." I really like how Eugene Peterson worded the verse in The Message:

But he’s already made it plain how to live, what to do,
    what God is looking for in men and women.
It’s quite simple: Do what is fair and just to your neighbor,
    be compassionate and loyal in your love,
And don’t take yourself too seriously—
    take God seriously.

Over and over the prophet admonished people to HEAR... LOOK... SEE! In other words, to pay attention! What is really going on here? What might God be saying to us? How then should we live?

So, what are you paying attention to? What kind of person do you want to be? Are you fair and just to your neighbor? Are you compassionate and loyal in your love? Do you take God more seriously than yourself? These are the kinds of things Jesus went on to teach us about, and the Spirit does still.

If you're like me, you may not want to think about those things right now (or maybe ever). But this is an opportunity to pause... to pay attention. Are you willing to listen?

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As an 'aside.' I don't know about the rest of you, but I have been crying a lot more lately. Sometimes at the most inappropriate times and with seeming little reason. I'm actually starting to think it's a good thing though. Perhaps it's not that the STRESS is getting to me, but that maybe, just maybe, GOD is getting to me more. I'm trying to pay attention to that.

So, I'm praying Psalm 51:10-12...

Create in me a pure heart, O God,
    and renew a steadfast spirit within me.
Do not cast me from your presence
    or take your Holy Spirit from me.
Restore to me the joy of your salvation
    and grant me a willing spirit, to sustain me.

Amen.